Author Topic: A boyfriend is not a husband  (Read 4006 times)


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  • Widowed by a car accident at age 27
Re: A boyfriend is not a husband
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2015, 10:10:07 AM »
I am tired of the new life right now. I miss coming home to a feeling of utter homeness, not a new guy. No matter how lovely he is, I still go to bed crying some nights (including last night) over how new everything is when I used to have something so solid. Sometimes I am tired of all the logistics of letting a new person in and trying to share my life events with him. It's not a criticism of our relationship to say I really miss the feeling of having a person who was already 100% an insider in my life.


I think that once we've had that one person who knows us inside and out, where the routines  are established, the roles are clearly defined and a history is shared we want to fast forward to having that again.  It took years to build that relationship but now it takes so much energy.  My new guy gets tired of hearing me say "I never used to be like this" or "I used to be so much better about...".  Just tonight he told me he doesn't care about who I used to be because he fell in love with who I am now.  Now that was extremely sweet and wonderful of him to say but in my head I'm screaming "but I want to be HER again, not this broken version!!"

...and yep again...

No words of advice, just understanding hugs and support and solidarity.  Even with a new great guy, this can be so difficult and so frustrating.  I often find myself nodding at the computer screen when I'm reading posts from you two especially.

I wish you the very very best of luck figuring this beast out, and I hope things start to go a little more smoothly soon for you both.
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