Author Topic: The shopping monster is attacking....help!  (Read 1589 times)

PhotoJunkie

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The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« on: July 04, 2015, 02:06:20 PM »
Every July and September for the last three years this happens.  I get attacked by the shopping monster.  I want to spend money and to hell with the consequences.  Of course this year is complicated by the fact I had a huge CC bill for the move, which is waiting to be paid off once the house sells (which ironically was delayed another two weeks).  I wont start getting a regular paycheck for a few weeks due to orientation, training, and some classes they want me to take. 

Its not little things, although I find myself spending more on little things I don't need to combat the huge urge to purchase the heavy duty pricey items.  But this year its a dream.  Ive had this dream forever and the man promised it to me. 

A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, a little car manufacturer built a remake of my favorite models of cars.  Then for ONE year only, they offered a special color for this car.  Every few months for at least 5 if not more years, I search for this particular gem of a vehicle.  I find them, but they are always high mileage, not a manual transmission or very very far away.  The man would laugh and tell me to have patience.  One would show up and we would look into it seriously, until then I drove his very inferior ford Mustang GT with the v8 engine :P 

Well as you can probably guess, I found one.  It has only two owners.  The mileage is only at 37k and the car is a 2011.  Its the right color and right transmission.  Per car fax it has had all its maintenance done on time etc.  BUT BUT BUT see paragraph one.....AND per car fax it has had two accidents (not noted if it was major or not) that involved front end damage and front/rear end damage.  No salvage or rebuilt title on it. 

Ive never bought a used car by myself.  The man and his dad were the kings and we women just let them do it :P  saved us the headache.  I DO NOT NEED A CAR.  My truck is awesome sauce and I still use the daylights out of her.  I do not like parking her sometimes and the parking garages here make me super nervous Im going to take her roof off, but she's amazing and I won't trade her in. 

Anyway this post isn't to convince myself to purchase or NOT to purchase this car.  I have not gone to see it.  I have not taken a test drive.  I was hoping that maybe others would understand the shopping monster especially when linked to emotional times?  (or maybe someone could maybe say its okay to buy my dream car **evil grin**)


MissingSquish

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2015, 04:29:03 PM »
PJ, I've got a truck, a car and a motorcycle, but I have a steady paycheck and do not have any CC debt.  My car has loads of sentimental value and is also quite rare. I love the car to pieces, but considered selling it this spring, as I can no longer commute in it. I ended up not selling it, but I think it would have been wiser for me financially to get rid of it.  I am finding it tough to keep up on all the maintenance needed on these vehicles myself AND my other expenses have been increasing (including fuel prices). 

I let the inspection recently lapse on the car, as I am not 100% sure that it would pass without something needing to be replaced (likely brakes or tires).  Parts for my car are NOT cheap, and I can't afford to get it inspected until August.

Just some food for thought.

If you do decide to go ahead and buy the car, get a pre-purchase inspection done by a trusted mechanic (preferably one that specializes in that make of car). Usually they run around $150/$200, and is well worth it to know what you're getting into. They can point out things that may need to be replaced, and can help you negotiate the price with the seller.
Gone but not forgotten.....my Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!

BrokenHeart2

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2015, 10:41:35 PM »
I just don't get that shopping thing so sorry I can't help. I will not buy into spending money to help me feel better on 'things'. I just doesn't work. There will always be things out there to buy. If you need it and truly want it, then go for it but be financially responsible at the same time. 
I have bought all of my cars on my own and I'm 54 yrs old. Not that big of a deal. Know what you want, make sure it's a good deal, then just do it if you can afford it.   :)
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Virgo

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2015, 10:52:53 PM »
Retail therapy! This is me, but on a smaller scale. I like to make little changes around the house. It always lifts my mood. Taking my daughters on a shopping spree or a little mini vacation is always a fun time too. Making memories! If it's within your budget I don't see anything wrong with it.

My next purchase for myself is going to be a mother's ring. LH had one made for me, but then our youngest daughter was born. Surprise! ha
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

BrokenHeart2

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2015, 11:09:05 PM »
Just don't go into debt for 'stuff'. That makes me crazy. It all marketing and that is big business now. Don't buy into this is all I'm saying.
I guess I don't get buying stuff makes you feel better. Walk in the forest, go for a swim, take a class of interest, whatever, marketing is such bullshit and such a huge mind game that people fall into the marketing trap.
Stop spending and find a way to just live your life :)
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

PhotoJunkie

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2015, 08:18:03 AM »
The car won't happen as much as I dream it will.  I don't know a reliable mechanic in this area yet.  I have to get other things finished first like the house sold, my work schedules sorted out etc.  I live in an apartment and if I got a car like that, I want a garage to keep her in. 

I used to do other things like camping, fishing, taking my quad into mud puddles for hours to make me feel better, however all of that went away when my husband was killed in our accident.  Since then those items are not available to me anymore and this is how I started coping.  I don't over spend, I fight the urge to do the dangerous spending and so far have done quite well.  As for Debt, mine is very minimal in comparison and will be gone once my house sells.  But thanks for the ideas.

There are a few things left on my bucket list and this car is one of them, so buying it, for me, would be living my life.  I also want to learn to scuba dive and do underwater photography.  Unfortunately those take a whole lot more time than just going down and buying the dream car.  But they are on the list and Im hoping to start on those projects sometime in the next year.


donswife

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2015, 08:32:33 AM »
I get the sentimental value of a dream car and the fact that the man should be here to tell you its OK to want it
what kind of car is it ?
can you go for a test drive (just for fun ) take it out and zip around
My don was a auto body man for 20 years so totally get it
Just had to sell his show truck but I sold it to someone , like you , who had this kind of truck on their bucket list
felt good to send it to its new home
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PhotoJunkie

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #7 on: July 05, 2015, 08:48:44 AM »
Its a 2011 Dodge Challenger SRT8 in Green with black racing stripes. (Green with Envy is the official color)  The man and his friends worked on old muscle cars in high school.  Unfortunately he was a Ford guy and I fell in love with Mopar ;)  The boy has the 67 Mustang his dad was restoring when he was killed.  The Challenger is much cheaper than my super dream car which is a 71/72 Cuda with a hemi.  Those puppies are way more than I will ever be able to afford and Im not mechanically inclined to restoring one isn't something I want to do :P 

When the new mustangs were released, the Man refused to drive one because he knew he would buy one.  I did get him a rental for fathers day but it was  6 cylinder and not as tempting.  His father then purchased a 2007 that was beautiful.  When his father's cancer returned, he sold the car to the man.  After our accident, the car was pretty useless and unpractical.  I ended up selling it to a wonderful couple.  The husband was so thrilled he turned it on and called his son to listen to the engine :)  The wife sent me photos for the first few months because she knew how much that car meant to me. 

If I go down and get in this car, I will purchase it.  So Im trying very hard not to go get it.  Luckily the next few days will keep me very busy so all I will do is drool :D  It is not an impractical car now as Im down two children and no more dogs.  Plus i have the truck if I need to do any moving or hauling of anything.

thats not to say in a month or so if its still there, and everything else has settled down and rearranged itself that I won't go look at it ;)  I just don't need to do it right now. 

donswife

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #8 on: July 05, 2015, 09:00:11 AM »
we were always working/washing or waxing the truck back in the day for car shows
I so miss that , I have visitation rights to the truck I sold and the guy will be at cruise nights near by
don was a Chevy Man , but we have a ford truck to haul stuff in
i agree in a month, if its still for sale ,you should think about getting it
just saying we deserve any happiness we can grab , plus sounds like a cool car
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IfIonlycould

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2015, 11:20:37 AM »
I come from both sides of this...never been one to retail therapy a situation, that's me but I understand other people really love to shop....however having said that I have my life long dream vehicle now....bought 2 years ago....and getting in that toy of mine and heading out on drives makes me feel like me and everything feels ok in the world....but I grew up with motorhead brothers so I think it is in my blood to have a vehicle make me feel "whole" again!
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
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Trying

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Re: The shopping monster is attacking....help!
« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2015, 12:38:44 PM »
When the time is right you will get your dream car, now or a year or more from now.  You seem very practical about it.  I love your other bucket list goals of scuba diving and underwater photography!  I hope you can find time for that once you're all settled in. 

As for the shopping monster, I get it.  I've put weight on so clothes shopping is not appealing.  Buying a smaller house means I have to donate or sell a lot of things but I have a growing list of things I want to do to make the new place my own and may need to hold myself back.  I'm thinking that if I let myself spend half of what I am making on the sale vs the purchase that's a good compromise.  I look at it like an investment in my emotional well being and my future.  I think the car, when the time is right, would be the same for you.
You will forever be my always.