Author Topic: Have at it. We all have different opinions.  (Read 7634 times)

Mizpah

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #30 on: July 03, 2015, 09:40:39 AM »
I'm tired of being told that I'm strong, but even more tired of the "you should..." which is what this has become. I'm happy you are all better, more zen, more sincere, more whatever than I.

Sorry - not at all what was intended.  Didn't mean to upset/offend, was just talking on the topic.
« Last Edit: July 03, 2015, 11:52:03 AM by Mizpah »
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

Sugarbell

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #31 on: July 03, 2015, 06:18:48 PM »
Sorry, from now I'll on just say (((HUGS)))  :-[

I just spit my tea out reading this... I don't want to offend anyone but sarcasm puts me in a good mood.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #32 on: July 03, 2015, 08:53:08 PM »
Smabify, not sure why you deleted your original post. I personally think this is a good thread of many varied and different perspectives. Our journeys are so different and it's refreshing for me to hear (read) such caring opinions.
I hop you're ok!
Hugs
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

PhotoJunkie

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #33 on: July 04, 2015, 02:15:43 PM »
Honestly sometimes the best and only appropriate response is to send hugs to a person.  If someone, who is usually the most upbeat positive person I know, is having a hard day and coming to a place to vent about it, why should we ignore it or try to make them more positive?  (does that make sense?? I keep reading the sentence and think Ive lost my mind)

Why do we as humans feel the need to constantly be positive instead of just understanding that someone as reached their limit for the day.  They are tired.  They have had to smile and nod every time someone (who hasn't been in their shoes) tries to inject rays of sunshine into their world when really all they want/need is someone to say.....Im so sorry.  Let me hug you while we pity party together.

As much as i cringe to say this:  Pixar just released a movie that hits the nail on the head with this discussion.  Its not my favorite movie of all time and I probably won't watch it again but I think everyone needs to see it once to understand that Joy/Positivity is not always appropriate.  It is okay to embrace other emotions. 

My friend came here to this place to just vent a little steam and instead of understanding she was met with people trying to put a positive spin on things.  I recently blew up at people for the same thing.  I just wanted to have someone understand why a certain comment was rubbing me the wrong way that day....instead I was told I should be grateful, things could be worse, the grass is greener, I just need to be more positive etc.  ugh.  It gets old after a while having your feelings dismissed because they aren't positive enough for everyone else. 

Meanwhile, I bought some rum and Sarah and I are going to have a pity party.  Everyone is invited :P

Beyondlife

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #34 on: July 04, 2015, 07:35:32 PM »
Alrighty then.
I'm not always good at knowing if somebody just wants to vent, hopes for answers, needs some positivity.  I go with my gut, sometimes my gut is wrong.
Never intended to make someone feel worse, always hope to make them feel better and supported.
This not knowing is why I rarely post, that, and not appreciating getting hands slapped when intentions are only good.
?There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love.?

― Washington Irving

nonesuch

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #35 on: July 06, 2015, 07:50:31 AM »
^^^I feel the same way.


BrokenHeart2

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #36 on: July 06, 2015, 08:02:02 AM »
^^^^^ totally agree. Especially on the internet. How is a person to know. Hope you're ok smabify.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Mizpah

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Re: Have at it. We all have different opinions.
« Reply #37 on: July 07, 2015, 09:14:43 AM »
^^^ same

widowed 2011 (DH 28)