Author Topic: 1 Week  (Read 1244 times)


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1 Week
« on: July 12, 2015, 07:47:08 AM »
And it will be three years. I kept all of my nieces and my nephew for a sleepover on Friday night. Then I spent ALL day yesterday with them. They kept me so busy and distracted. It was a blessing. Last night they went home and reality returned.

I had a dream last night, one of those dreams that seem so real. I was at our house and had the biggest fit. I started punching everything and screaming, "I don't like this new life." Then when someone dragged me away there he was. I grabbed him by his pinky finger and we walked outside where he just held me and told me it was all going to be alright.

But he was wrong. It's not alright and it never will be again. Yes, I've laughed and smiled in these past three years and there has been moments of happiness but even those moments are shadowed by the emptiness I feel from his absence. I just miss him so much.

Three years ago, it was a thursday. He had one week left. I will never ever forget that last week.
There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.
 For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. - Hebrews 4:7-8
Alex 1/31/91-7/19/12


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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2015, 08:18:13 AM »
Don't have much to say.  Just sending you {{hugs}}. 
I miss how happy I was with you.


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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2015, 08:20:36 AM »
Oh those dreams can be a comfort for a bit
then like you said the reality comes back at you like a ton of bricks
I can only say i understand a little bit and wish with all my heart I had some thing to say to make it easier
take care
My everything


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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2015, 08:52:01 AM »
Big hugs to you.  Life will never have that same kind of happiness again.  I get that.  Somehow, I have to hope we will find a different happiness that will make life worth living.  AW, you deserved your happiness with Alex.  It breaks my heart that your life was shattered when you were so young.  It just isn't supposed to be this way.  I hope this week and its agony goes quickly.

Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness


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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2015, 09:35:40 AM »
Tight, tight hugs to you, honey. I understand exactly what you mean when you say that even the happy moments you find now are not the same due to missing them so much. Sending you my love and more hugs as you face this upcoming anniversary, AW.
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.


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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2015, 06:21:56 PM »
My wonderful husband Rick of 19 years, 12/11/67 - 9/20/09 Neuroendocrine cancer.
I still miss you everyday, I go forward, but my mind stands still.


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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2015, 01:02:34 PM »
Thanks for all of your support. I'm at work and struggling to make it through this day. I just keep thinking that last year on this day Alex and I went out to celebrate three months of marriage. He tried to surprise me by getting my sister to just randomly bump into him. Unfortunetly, I am hard to sneak anything by so I knew what he was up to. I never let him know that I knew about the surprise.
When we just bumped into him, he had me a dozen roses on the seat of the car and the most beautiful card. Then we went to a movie and dinner. So many wonderful but heartbreaking memories.

Why can't I just sleep this day and week away?!
There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.
 For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. - Hebrews 4:7-8
Alex 1/31/91-7/19/12


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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2015, 12:41:20 PM »
Huge hugs, AW.  It sounds like you and your Alex had such an amazing, storybook romance and it's so unfair he was taken away from you.  Especially with you both being so very young.

I'm glad you're able to find moments of joy and hope you can find more and more as time goes on.  I understand how the emptiness remains even after we start filling our lives back so badly deserve nothing but happiness.

Love and best wishes as you face this incredibly difficult week.  I know in the past you've written about how clear your memories of your last week with your Alex remain.  I hope you can revisit and take comfort in the happy ones, knowing how clearly you made your love for him known.  He must have felt like on of the most cherished, luckiest men in the world having you as for a wife.  You both deserved to have each other for so much longer.

Do You Realize - that you have the most beautiful face

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Re: 1 Week
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2015, 03:35:05 PM »
I honestly have no words, but I wanted you to know that I hear you and that I understand. (((Hugs)))
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.