Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 160796 times)

klim

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1455 on: November 17, 2017, 07:36:30 AM »
Scientifically analyze is what I always did and still do even though I've been dating a guy for almost 8 months. Apparently i can't just have raw emotions ( ie fall in love, instantly attracted). I need to analyze more, like how they got there and what there intentions are etc,

 Very rarely when on dates could I just go with the flow and just try and feel if it was good. I guess I didn't just trust my instincts.  think part of it was I'm fairly easy going and most often have fun no matter who I'm with, so I think the scientific analysis is just another way to figure out if they are actually a good fit because if I went with how I feel when I'm out on a date , usually i felt good.

Bottom line I get the whole analysing thing. I have no clue how people fall in love at first sight.....it takes me a long time.

Leadfeather

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1456 on: November 17, 2017, 08:32:30 AM »
I find myself analyzing also. I think it is because when I last dated I was 21. I had no idea what a good relationship was back then and I lived in the moment so there was no need to analyze. Fortunately, I got lucky and fell in love with a wonderful person.

Now I am just a few weeks short of 49. I know what a good relationship is and the level of commitment a person needs to make a good relationship after the honeymoon period. I also have children, albeit adult children and the woman I form a relationship with will most likely have children as well. Which means it is more than just my and her heart involved in the equation. So I analyze the dates I have to see if they have the criteria I know are necessary to for a lasting relationship because I don't want to depend on luck alone.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
-Corrie Ten Boom

Bunny

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  • widowed 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1457 on: November 17, 2017, 09:30:30 AM »
Just read this and thought some of you might appreciate her perspective on the whole on-line dating frustration: http://bust.com/sex/193430-on-dating-and-male-entitlement.html
It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.

Abitlost

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1458 on: November 17, 2017, 10:14:34 AM »
Missmybecky,

Yes, dating sucks, but chances are you dodged a bullet there. Whatever her rationale (or ghost), better she flake at 6 weeks than 6 months.

abl

tybec

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1459 on: November 18, 2017, 08:00:27 AM »
Quote
Divorced guys: you can see the trail - his fault vs her fault, changed goals, fell out of love, cheated, etc. The single guys who have had nothing or little to show for it do make me wonder...so what are they hiding to get this far in life with little to no relationship experience or longevity? If they were fine in the bachelor life all this time, hit 40 and now wanting the whole 9 yards? Are these guys I want to be with?

Same story as far as I dated at age 14 and married him. No dating as an adult.  I had these same thoughts.  And what other options?  A widowed person.  So, I somewhere decided there was no perfection.  Perhaps Chapter Two is more difficult and if you find and can love/commit after losing a long term soul mate, then maybe it is extraordinary on a whole new level.  LOTs more warts and all. 

Good luck!  I am here, also.  Am dating a guy now going on two years, but still figuring it all out.

arneal

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    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1460 on: November 19, 2017, 03:17:30 PM »
Good points tybec. It has to be much harder for those who had an ideal situation before. I had a horrid first go at marriage and was grateful for the second go. I learned that love is not painful but patient, among other good fortune cookie points  ;D But seriously, second LH taught me about accepting and loving myself and allowing someone else to love me as well. I needed that to survive his illness and subsequent death as well as now moving forward with the life I need to live. NG I hope will be a deepening part of it as time goes on and I recognize that I have never looked for perfection but for someone who is willing (to use your words) accept my warts as much as I accept theirs :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b