Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 146427 times)

Bear1956

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #45 on: July 30, 2015, 12:17:39 AM »
Your Mom was attracted to short thick girls ?
Oh, I read that wrong ( :

I guess a comma was needed.  :)

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #46 on: August 12, 2015, 09:49:05 AM »
The latest diary of an on line dating(attempting) widow for your reading pleasure.....

So I have had a married man looking for a fwb contacting me constantly.  I finally replied with a no hoping to get him to stop....he wants to keep talking as friends....seriously?!?!

That guy who thanked me for saving him when I said I wasn't interested a couple weeks ago, contacted me again.....short memory he has!

I've had a few nice messages but zero attraction is there for me. I really feel like I'd be wasting both of our time in persuing. Maybe I need to rethink this one...perhaps in person something could be there. I really am not looking for model material, just something in their eyes or smile that says something could be there.

I've sent out a few messages. ..crickets so far.

More 20 year olds......

And a toe fetish guy......

Stay tuned.....there will be more I am sure, if I decide to stick this out a bit.

Captains wife

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #47 on: August 12, 2015, 11:13:30 AM »
Thanks for the update Momtokam...I know....its a jungle out there. When I was dating, I went out with/corresponded with something like 40-50 men before I started dating one guy I really liked. And, I was at one point on 3 dating sites...I saw all kinds, seriously. (I had married guys hitting on me, 20-somethings, guys offering to "loosen me up", guys speculating whether I had too much baggage, guys deciding they were in love right away, etc etc.) I dated some crazies, liars, guys totally not my type but also met some really great men through it - it just takes time and patience. If someone was a "maybe" for me online, I would talk to them on the phone first and then if there was something there I did try a date. I have also established some nice male friendships through all my dating folly - which I am thankful for.

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #48 on: August 12, 2015, 01:20:37 PM »
Thanks Captains wife. It really helps to hear others experiences.

If they are a maybe, I do try and get to know them more. It's the ones that make me say no that I might have to rethink. Still learning as I go.

imissdow

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #49 on: August 12, 2015, 01:33:43 PM »
I made liberal use of the block and hide features. In fact at one point I took a look at who I had done this to and it was several pages long. When they asked for a FWB or got rather graphic with what they were seeking from a "date"  and it was not anything close to what I was looking for.I figured I was just saving myself some frustration and making the site a little more user friendly to me.

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #50 on: August 12, 2015, 02:57:48 PM »
I rarely blocked anyone. I found it much more of a positive tactic to not respond.

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #51 on: August 12, 2015, 08:03:33 PM »
Thanks for the update @momtokam.
Good luck wih the current options ... and you never know what a new day will bring.
Seems par for the course; looking for that needle in a haystack that is just the right match for you.

Two days ago, I disabled both of my online profiles on OKC and match. Had enough of trying to filter and navigate it all for now.  Needed a break.

And wouldn't you know ... "coincidently," with all that free energy and time released, my summer writer's block eased and I wrote my August blog entry reflections. The words practically wrote and edited themselves! LOL

Be well, friends.

Needytoo

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #52 on: August 13, 2015, 02:38:51 PM »
This past week I have been chatting with a guy and it is just so extremely painfully boring.  I am trying to be patient because lord knows I have writers block as well.  He asks how was my day so I told him some details.  I didn't want to into too much detail just gave him the highlights.  Two minutes after I posted it, he writes back and asks how my day is going?  Just don't think there is a match there. 

I do like what SunshineFl did.I think it is time I follow that path. 

Catherine

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #53 on: August 13, 2015, 05:06:36 PM »
Glad I am not the only one who feels like this!!!

I don't really like online dating, but as most of my friends are married and/or have kids, my social life is pretty dead!!!  And I work in an office so don't really meet people through work.  I feel like online dating is my online option, which sucks  :-\

I have never hidden I am a widow and when I am on match (taken myself off for now, not been on for a few months as currently can't be bothered LOL) I am honest about the fact I am widowed, it hasn't affected anything as far as I am aware

I have only actually been on one date through match, the guy said he was "separated" which put me off but he seemed really nice so I went to meet him anyway.  He was literally just getting divorced, after being with his wife for 10 years, and I think he literally wanted to meet someone and get straight into a full on serious relationship!

Told him I liked him but could we cool off (because he wanted to see me ALL the time, I have a job ha!) and then just as I decided to give things a go, he said he had started seeing someone else and after TWO DATES they were going to give things ago

So after that I gave up, I am however been persuaded to go speed dating in a couple of weeks, let's see what that brings!!

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #54 on: August 13, 2015, 06:55:58 PM »
^^^^
Well he is obviously hot on the trail for a new relationship in the midst of not even being seperated that long ??
Better for you, you should never settle for someone not over a marriage. He's got a long way to go, and from experience, many seperated people all of a sudden try to make amends and go back to their exes. You certainly deserve more ! And never, ever, settle, for second best. You're the most important person, in the world.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2015, 11:24:48 AM by sunshinedaydreamz »

nonesuch

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #55 on: August 15, 2015, 03:38:23 PM »
Playing devil's advocate here:   I knew a man who'd been separated for years.  He didn't bother to start divorce proceedings until he met someone special.

On the other hand, I met two men who were separated and told me they had no intentions of getting divorced.  One had a good-ish reason, one said he had no reason to actually divorce.  I took that to mean, "no matter how long we date, I'll never make a commitment to you. I'll always  have an excuse to opt out of our relationship, if I decide to give my marriage one last chance. You can't possibly think poorly of me for doing that." 

Portside

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #56 on: August 15, 2015, 03:55:52 PM »
I'll always  have an excuse to opt out of our relationship, if I decide to give my marriage one last chance. You can't possibly think poorly of me for doing that."

You may be surprised Skippy. I do give him an 'A' for honesty though.

I was always surprised when one of my late wife's friends tried to fix me up with a friend that was still married. "It's complicated" they'd say. "No it isn't" I'd say. If you are willing to date while still married, that tells me something about you - that assessment which with I'm sure you'd violently disagree. Now that doesn't mean I wouldn't go out with you and be open to any and all types of fun that adults may have.

But as far as a potential long term prospect - your chances are now at zero. 

Good luck - Mike
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #57 on: August 17, 2015, 08:36:50 PM »
There is a difference to me between married (physically seperated pending actually divorce), and just, married. If there are young children involved it becomes even more complicated. I wouldn't have plans with someone not filing or still living together, true. But each situation is unique. One size doesn't fit all. The same could be said dating someone hung up on an ex, or just wanting to casually date. If you are considering a future with someone married, best to not get your hopes high just yet. Just an opinion.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2015, 08:46:34 PM by sunshinedaydreamz »

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #58 on: August 17, 2015, 10:20:01 PM »
I am however been persuaded to go speed dating in a couple of weeks, let's see what that brings!!

Catherine, I am thinking about speed dating as well. I am trying to convince a friend to go with me in September. Let us know how it goes!

Catherine

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #59 on: August 18, 2015, 05:45:11 PM »
I will!!  Was meant to be going on Friday, but me and my friend are going on holiday a week on Saturday, so we have decided to go when we get back