Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161711 times)

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #30 on: July 24, 2015, 10:07:59 AM »
I think that a lot of people on dating sites don't really want to date...

I think that is true, too, Nuggets. Perhaps wanting the "appearance of connection" online only, not in real life.

Momtokam, glad you are chatting with someone who seems nice and perhaps has potential.  Enjoy and keep us posted.
 

nonesuch

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #31 on: July 24, 2015, 04:48:41 PM »
Yeah, my biggest problem with online dating is that no one seems that interested in dating at all. It felt to me like a ton of people were actively scouring the website, sending out feelers, but no one really wanted to take the plunge and you know, meet... snip...
I think people are really chicken... How bad can an hour spent with anyone really be?

This.  Even a bad date is practice for when someone good comes along.  I have a job interview tomorrow for a job I'm pretty sure I'm not going to want.  I could be wrong, it could be my dream job.  Don't risk not knowing!

Sugarbell

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #32 on: July 26, 2015, 09:24:07 PM »
My brief experience--do not lie about your height!!

If you say you are 6 ft....but are really 5'7...And I show up all 5'10 of me in 2 inch heels...

Well it's embarrassing and awkward.

Even new guy said he was 6....nope he's 5'11...No biggie but come on! You can camouflage a few pounds...but height is cut and dry.

The other crap I could weed through....but height...nope unless they said 6'3 or above I was prepared for anything
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #33 on: July 27, 2015, 08:21:25 AM »
My brief experience--do not lie about your height!!

So true, Sugarbell. I seem to see it a lot, as well. Height and age.
I see a number that tells me an age but I'm looking at a photo that tells me 10-20 years older and the two just don't align.  It really can't be all genes and DNA, right?

Momtokam and I were chatting about this a little offline, and I thought I'd share yet another of my recent dating "oh my goodness" moments -

I went out to dinner a few times with an unexpected gentleman this past week and we were really enjoying each other, the intelligent banter and great conversations. I thought I was close to enjoying some "trouble" this weekend [LOL  ;) ] until he called and said he couldn't see me any more as he knew he wasn't my long-term forever guy (his explanation: not of the same faith and politically opposite), and that he was at risk for getting hurt because he could see himself falling head over heels for me in love because I am the "whole package" (his words), I am all the qualities and everything he is looking for. I really respected his honesty and showing me his vulnerability in protecting his heart - I completely respect that - another reason why I was enjoying him so much.
But can't a young widowed gal just have some fun?!?!?  ;)  LOL
All I can say is - I can't believe this is my world.
Staying optimistic and hopeful (despite so much evidence to the contrary). 8)
Be well, friends,
-SunshineFL

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #34 on: July 27, 2015, 11:16:08 AM »
So I had a guy message me today .. Look at his profile and says he's seeing someone. So , I responded and asked , if he's trying to collect women .. Could be trouble. Argh ! Hate online
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #35 on: July 27, 2015, 04:05:04 PM »
So I had a guy message me today .. Look at his profile and says he's seeing someone. So , I responded and asked , if he's trying to collect women .. Could be trouble. Argh ! Hate online

Maybe he was the same man who messaged me today who said he was polyamorous. :o

Exchanged a few messages today with a local man (college professor) who did this back and forth "tell me something interesting about you" Q&A (just "tell me - not, please tell me").

After the 2nd exchange, he then *directed* that we meet on Wednesday night for a drink and then, if sparks fly, I could give him my number.... no please, no would you like to meet, just a directive.  Where did gentlemenly courtesy and respect go?  And I wonder if there are women who respond to directives like that from strangers and just show up at the designated time and place? 

Strength to us both @momtojandj and to us all.  :)

Baylee627

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #36 on: July 27, 2015, 11:35:13 PM »
I'm thinking Mr. Professorial has watched 50 Shades of Grey one time too many and needs a swift reality check. Um, you don't order a woman to report for a drink and she's all shits and giggles just to do so.

Just say no. Make that, hell no.

Baylee
Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and death shall have no dominion--Dylan Thomas

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #37 on: July 28, 2015, 12:13:40 AM »
.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2015, 10:13:42 AM by sunshinedaydreamz »

fairlanegirl

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #38 on: July 28, 2015, 01:16:55 AM »

After the 2nd exchange, he then *directed* that we meet on Wednesday night for a drink and then, if sparks fly, I could give him my number.... no please, no would you like to meet, just a directive.  Where did gentlemenly courtesy and respect go?  And I wonder if there are women who respond to directives like that from strangers and just show up at the designated time and place? 
I'm mildly curious as to how exactly he 'directed' you? Did he say, "Meet me at such-and-such at this time"? Sometimes things can seem blunter written down than expressed vocally, can't they.

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #39 on: July 28, 2015, 08:02:36 AM »
Thanks Baylee, sunshinedaydreamz and fairlanegirl.
I didn't get the sense that he was "inappropriate" in any way, but, yes, brusque.

Of course, tone is hard to read in text/written messages and can sound more blunt and unpolished, perhaps. I always like to think the initial best of others.  However, when read as a collective of correspondence, all of his messages to me were written with imperative sentences without use of any softening, respectful courtesy words - no pleases, no would you like tos, no, I'd enjoy meeting you, are you available this week, etc.

Two of his imperative sentences were:
"Tell me three interesting things about you."
"Meet me here on Wednesday at this time."
These are curt directives - especially since he had never met me or spoken to me as of yet.

I did have an initial phone conversation with him last night (I was curious to see past the written words as he said he is a college professor) - and I could better hear in his voice that he is just like how he writes - high energy, a lot of "I" sentences, brusque, definitive, pragmatic, and I didn't initially sense he was all that interested in starting to get to know me - says he has been enjoying online dating for about two years and meeting all different kinds of women. He did sound like in his heart he is a decent and good man and likely a good match for someone lovely. Not a match for me, but I'm glad I didn't dismiss him based on initial written words alone.

These waters are hard to navigate.
Have a beautiful day ahead, friends.

Wheelerswife

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #40 on: July 28, 2015, 08:45:16 AM »
Sunshine...after having been married to a professor...not quite like this guy, though...I have found that some others are a bit direct.  They have really well developed aspects in the intellectual realm, but perhaps less well developed aspects in others?  They are still awfully good people, and capable of learning.  I found with John that I needed to be gentle, but clear about what I liked and didn't like.  He wasn't as aware initially, for instance, that he came across as being so much more logical than I was in making decisions.  He was able to start seeing that I had a different perspective (more emotional) when it came to decision making and we worked things out well.

Maybe give the guy a chance?  If not...give him my number?  (Kidding...just kidding!)

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #41 on: July 28, 2015, 10:19:00 AM »
Sunshine...after having been married to a professor...not quite like this guy, though...I have found that some others are a bit direct.  They have really well developed aspects in the intellectual realm, but perhaps less well developed aspects in others?  They are still awfully good people, and capable of learning.  I found with John that I needed to be gentle, but clear about what I liked and didn't like.  He wasn't as aware initially, for instance, that he came across as being so much more logical than I was in making decisions.  He was able to start seeing that I had a different perspective (more emotional) when it came to decision making and we worked things out well.

Maybe give the guy a chance?  If not...give him my number?  (Kidding...just kidding!)

Maureen

Oh, Maureen - you are such a gem.
Thanks for taking a moment to add your personal insights here ~ and I love that you are clicking over to the "social encounters" board..that is such a good sign of healing growth (((hugs))).

I actually am "giving him a chance" - he sent a nice morning text to which I replied in kind. Nothing is off the table. I was describing first impressions only. You know how "sensing" and calm I am; he just seemed to initially resonate at a much more powerful, louder tone and energetic level than I do. Could be who his is, could be just first phone call nerves. I don't have to know it all today, right?

But you know what - I love, love, love your idea of a fix up introduction! Yes.  ;) 
In fact, I've done it a few times already in this online dating foray. I meet someone that seems nice, but not my guy, and something makes me think that he would be a good fit for a friend here, or a friend there, of mine - and I get their individual permission and introduce them. Each time, they've been open to the match and appreciate me making the connections. Fun, right?

I know you were joking around just now - but good joking around.
Nice. ((((more hugs))))

In the meantime, an interesting gentleman that lives near the beach not far from me reached out yesterday - a few nice emails, texts and then a fairly long and lovely evening phone conversation last night. He asked me out for a dinner date tomorrow and I said yes.

See ... you just never know what a day will bring.  :)
Keeping hopeful and optimistic and open-minded.
Chat soon, SunshineFL
« Last Edit: July 28, 2015, 10:26:03 AM by SunshineFL »

Bear1956

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #42 on: July 28, 2015, 04:51:24 PM »
My brief experience--do not lie about your height!!

If you say you are 6 ft....but are really 5'7...And I show up all 5'10 of me in 2 inch heels...

Well it's embarrassing and awkward.

Even new guy said he was 6....nope he's 5'11...No biggie but come on! You can camouflage a few pounds...but height is cut and dry.

The other crap I could weed through....but height...nope unless they said 6'3 or above I was prepared for anything

I tend to be attracted to short thick gals like my mom.  :o
« Last Edit: July 30, 2015, 12:16:27 AM by Bear1956 »

Bear1956

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #43 on: July 28, 2015, 04:52:19 PM »

My brief experience--do not lie about your height!!

If you say you are 6 ft....but are really 5'7...And I show up all 5'10 of me in 2 inch heels...

Well it's embarrassing and awkward.

Even new guy said he was 6....nope he's 5'11...No biggie but come on! You can camouflage a few pounds...but height is cut and dry.

The other crap I could weed through....but height...nope unless they said 6'3 or above I was prepared for anything

I tend to be attracted to short thick gals like my mom.  :o

sunshinedaydreamz

  • Guest
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #44 on: July 29, 2015, 02:30:31 PM »
Your Mom was attracted to short thick girls ?
Oh, I read that wrong ( :