Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161728 times)

Helen

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  • chemie
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #60 on: August 22, 2015, 08:44:37 AM »

If Match is the same everywhere then I find it really difficult to navigate. It is hard to follow a conversation and I have missed a couple of responses from people for some reason.

All good though because:



This guy is probably a keeper right  ;)

One of my best friends is on the same dating site as me and we often have the same men contact us, recently one guy arranged to meet us both on the same day, same place, 2 hours apart. We both decided not to go and told him we were friends and he vanished.

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #61 on: August 22, 2015, 01:27:50 PM »
Yes certainly a keeper.

Portside

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #62 on: August 22, 2015, 02:30:40 PM »

One of my best friends is on the same dating site as me and we often have the same men contact us, recently one guy arranged to meet us both on the same day, same place, 2 hours apart. We both decided not to go and told him we were friends and he vanished.

Interesting Helen. I honestly do not see the issue. Planning a day like that does not automatically make the man a cad. Neither of you had met him before so there was no relationship in any fashion between the man and either you or your friend. To my mind, there was no disrespect to either of you by the guy. Nothing has been promised or even, most likely, implied yet. Everyone was at the very beginning of only an introduction. He owed you nothing more than being a gentleman when he met you. Perhaps I am missing the boat here - are you wanting a fellow to not ask anyone else out when he is simply trying to meet you for the first time? 

There is a chance you both missed an opportunity to meet a good man.

Best wishes - Mike
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

nonesuch

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #63 on: August 23, 2015, 08:44:10 AM »

I was always surprised when one of my late wife's friends tried to fix me up with a friend that was still married. "It's complicated" they'd say. "No it isn't" I'd say.

...snip...

But as far as a potential long term prospect - your chances are now at zero. 

Good luck - Mike

yeah, the good-ish reason of married # 1 was to make sure his fourth(!) wife retained health insurance, which she needed for a chronic illness.  Admirable, but it would have left me in a legal and emotional no man's land.

Helen

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  • chemie
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #64 on: August 23, 2015, 08:51:05 AM »
The was of course more to this story that in that short summary Mike, the guy was a bit of an idiot and seemed to enjoy playing us off against each other. I am not sure what dating etiquette is and most of us who are busy on dating sites are not keeping ourselves to one contact, I have certainly had arrangements to meet more than one guy, but for me the line would be to not date two guys on the same day. It is fine that others draw this line elsewhere and I respect that, but when you know you are talking to two people who are friends maybe you should be aware of that and careful what you say. This guy telling my friend (who he had yet to meet) that he thought they had a long and happy future together, while also arranging to meet me just before meeting her suggests lack of good character to me.

The pickings are few and I am not passing up on any reasonable opportunities, way too desperate for that!

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #65 on: August 24, 2015, 09:25:00 AM »
I guess I'm too not understanding. Whether it's the same day or not should really make little difference to an introduction. 

If you've deciphered the "idiot" factor then it's just to me polite to say or write I wouldn't think there is anymore reason for communicating, but disclosing ones friendship with another lady on same dating site and communications between both, I would find a bit confusing.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2015, 10:01:07 AM by sunshinedaydreamz »

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #66 on: August 29, 2015, 09:10:56 AM »
The latest and not so greatest update from my crazy trying to date world....if I didn't live it I might not really believe it at times!

....I usually use my phone to access the dating sites. Last night I used my lap top for the first time with Match which opens up the chatting feature. Within 30 seconds there where 4 men from all over the U.S. (I am in Canada) ready to start a long distance relationship and relocate to be with me! Really? One didn't even read my profile because he was asking questions clearly answered in my profile! I kept chatting with them because I was truly in awe of their suggestions and really couldn't believe it! They were quite insistent! Oh my goodness!!

....I receive nice messages, I reply with nice messages, then they hide their profile.

....I may be starting to understand all the brief "Hi" messages. After sending out nicely thought out messages referencing their profiles...I hear crickets back....I make the effort and nothing.....hmmmm. ....Hi is so much less work.

....More cute young ones messaging me. I'm reading Bridget Jones, Mad About the Boy right now....hmmmm, maybe I need to rethink this. ...lol

....Met someone for a drink last week. He was from out of town, on business here for a week (5 hour flight away). Clearly there was no relationship potential but he was a funny, and pretty good guy so I went. It was fun and lots of great conversation. He was easy on eyes as well...we walked around the harbour front for a while and talked and laughed but I didn't get an "I'm interested" vibe. He didn't even try to touch me and no outright flirting. I thought, hey I made a cool new friend at least! He walked me to my car and we said good night. Then we kissed.....OK,  he was interested... talk about going right over my head! He walked away and I drove home. We had a good laugh over it later on the phone. Said he would call next time he is in town, he comes often. Yeah, we'll see.....he is looking for some fun only.....

As a good friend told me.....who knows what a new day will bring...


momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #67 on: August 29, 2015, 10:06:36 AM »
Helen, I hope you are having better luck on Match the last few days.

I so agree with you though....the pickings are very few it seems.

RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #68 on: August 29, 2015, 11:17:57 PM »
I have not figured out if I have any use for Match chat yet.  So far, all the inbound offers feel like organized scammers, every last one.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

nonesuch

  • Guest
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #69 on: August 30, 2015, 06:53:00 AM »
 They try like heck to get you to keep your profile with them if you make moves to take it down.  It's always suggested that you just make your profile inactive, rather than remove it. I'm guessing there is a reason:  I suspect the dating site uses all profiles to send flirts or whatever to others to keep members interested.   I had nicely (and painstakingly) replied to a Hi, and the next day when  I looked, saw his last time online had been **months** before.  I told the company not to send me any more of these, and the weird "Hi"-s from men who weren't online stopped. If you're hearing crickets when you respond to a Hi, I'm guessing the man whose profile it came from doesn't know anything about it.

I had started to suspect the profile phantom thing...Then on the old board, a woman whose hadn't been online in months asked a still active friend to look up her old profile. There was the woman's picture, along with "Last active on site [previous day]"  !

sunshinedaydreamz

  • Guest
Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #70 on: August 30, 2015, 09:38:41 AM »
A lot of commonality ^^^^
After being OFF the dating sites for 3 years, I regularly get 5 "wanna hook ups", on my email, various foreign women Facebook requests, porn pics on my messages, you name it, each day. Actually 5 or six women I "chatted" with on the dating sites minimally, later "found" me, on Facebook, by "people you may know", when I never gave any info other than a first name. When you sign up for a dating site, somehow your email address is fair game by default. I triple checked this by putting an alternate email address on a specific dating site.
And Craigslist. Omg don't even go there.

When I put widowed on the profile it was like putting an L on my forehead.
I got responses from 20 year older women showing sagging cleavage. And 20 a day Omg im so sorries. Even if a woman doesn't post a pic, from experience she will get 50 to 1000 more messagess per day than a similar guys profile. Reason being men, or I guess one can call them that, regularly scan and message hundreds and more of women every day, which essential keeps these dating sites going.

I'm sure there are vast differences in age where maybe it would be more of an asset, but my experience it was better to simply say single and explain it later. Anyway yes these sites kept inactive profiles for years, and they say "was online yesterday". Not to mention the countless women I chatted with, with the first question being what do you do for a living? Before even asking my name. When I said Dr they would follow up with immediately wanting to marry. When I said I worked in a factory poof.. Gone.

Not hindering anyone from wanting to go on these sites, just simply writing of my experiences. I meet much classier people at restaurants, shopping for groceries, and just by meetings with friends and family.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2015, 09:55:12 AM by sunshinedaydreamz »

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #71 on: August 30, 2015, 09:58:22 AM »
Rob, I think you might be on to something. They were all from far away and insistent on a long distance relationship within seconds. Very scammer like for sure.

Nonesuch, if this really is true, I really don't know what to think. It's already hard enough, without fake messages coming through just to keep you hooked.

Sunshinedaydreamz, I recently started to use a new separate email just for these sites. Just thought it would safer somehow, just in case.

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #72 on: August 30, 2015, 10:07:39 AM »
Just be safe and take these sites for face value. There are some nice single people, even online. Trick is deciphering and super careful screening. Best wishes : )

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #73 on: August 30, 2015, 10:14:47 AM »
Thanks sunshineanddaydreamz. It really shouldn't be this hard.

sunshinedaydreamz

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #74 on: August 30, 2015, 10:16:59 AM »
My thoughts exactly. You are special. Make sure you're treated that way !