Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161723 times)

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #105 on: September 22, 2015, 08:19:45 AM »
I poked around a new site that is supposed to be popular in my area. I have no pics up, no bio written, only my stats are up.

Received this message....

"You have a cutie smile, looking so gorgeous, 
alluring, charming still doesn't express how 
adorable You look. Good afternoon pretty"

Cut and paste much?????

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #106 on: September 28, 2015, 08:30:56 AM »

Cut and paste much?????

So true, momtokam!
Goodness ... I have had a few messages lately also "cut and pasted."

I deleted the data/photos from my match profile last night and pared down photos on OKC. My tolerance for it all waned yet again. I think I only have about a 2-3 weeks energy capacity to field and navigate it all.  Time to breathe and stay open to meeting someone special in an off-line way.  8)

Let's add a little levity here (have to, right?)  ;) and finish this sentence:

"You know you have been online dating too long when....."

I'll start.

You know you have been online dating too long when ....
....four different people who I had communicated with previously, wrote to me expressing their interest in me with exactly the same intro messages and completely did not remember me and our prior interactions, some of which included in-person dates (a pizza place, a baseball game and one who I had given my number to and then he never called.)

That is when you know you have been online dating TOO LONG!!!  ::)

How about you guys and gals?
Any "have been online too long" indicators?



momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #107 on: September 28, 2015, 07:37:02 PM »
Got to love those cut and pastes!

The best ones are identical in not only words,  but spacing and punctuation as well! Some are days, weeks or months later....

I know I have been on line dating too long when....

....I get the identitcal message from the same guy, who I do reply to, and then hear crickets back,  twice, about a year apart...why would I think a year later he would reply?

....I see the same men, with the same pics, 2 years later....


nonesuch

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #108 on: September 29, 2015, 06:30:04 PM »
I poked around a new site that is supposed to be popular in my area. I have no pics up, no bio written, only my stats are up.

Received this message....

"You have a cutie smile, looking so gorgeous,
alluring, charming still doesn't express how
adorable You look. Good afternoon pretty"

Cut and paste much?????

I got a reply to a Craig's List ad...The reply-er had sent the same message to three other women besides me, and had forgotten to use the blind carbon copy option.

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #109 on: October 03, 2015, 02:47:53 PM »
Hahahaha Nonesuch!

Today's prospect......

35 year old music composer for Hollywood films, making $1,000,000 a year, messages me...."What's cookin' good lookin'!" 😀😀😀😀😀
« Last Edit: October 03, 2015, 02:58:42 PM by momtokam »

RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #110 on: October 08, 2015, 02:23:05 PM »
Time for a vent from me ...

So I met someone I liked in July, and we got several dates in.  She's a musician and teacher with an easy smile and a great laugh, and we always seemed to talk well when we got together, but stuff like kisses really have been a fail.  Our interest in each other seemed to get smaller as time went on.  She's somewhat timid, which is not great for me, and has the idea that she could never imagine asking someone out, so tangible signs were not thick on the ground.  She did ask me to a free world music concert/demo that was cool, but that was a little last-minute, and was after mentioning that she was doing it on a prior date.  Last Friday at lunch, she mentioned that the concert I knew she's been rehearsing for was happening the next night, and didn't so much as hint that I might be welcome to show up and hear her performance.  I have interpreted this as a finally fatal lack of interest.  Fortunately, I wasn't too attached.

So, onward.  Two more opportunities came up.  The first was a divorced woman that contacted me and seemed nice, and was initially up for meeting for coffee, but then thought we should talk on the phone first.  We did that last night, and I thought it worked out, and we had plans to meet in person.  Just now, she sent me a message stating that she felt sorry for lying, but that she was in fact still married and was struggling to accept that her marriage was over and file for divorce.  I am not sure how to respond to that, exactly.  Not the worst thing, but she admits that she'd love to reconcile, so I would have to trust HIS reluctance.

The other opportunity is with a woman who responds with tiny and sometimes incomplete sentences to me.  Her first response seemed interested, then her profile went down, and then she responded that she'd been out of town.  I will replay her messages in their entirety
since her return, with summaries of my messages in parentheses (can't give away all the Rob T magic!):

--
Just got back from 2 week vacation

(Cool, where?)

National parks in the west

(I liked Yosemite.  Coffee maybe?)

Sure

(How about place X / time Y?)

Can't have a meeting
--

I am trying to figure out if she's just a crazy-busy professional barely stuffing all her tasks into 24 hours or if this is a filter to get rid of guys who are easily discouraged.  I have not fully decided how much I want to find out.  I guess it's early into my three strikes count.

I am getting too old for this crap.  I think I have better skills at all this than I had a year and a half ago, but it's hard to really prove it.  My old friend the "It'll never happen" monster visits me regularly.  It's anniversary season here anyway, so I am not really sure I should be out there.  Hibernation plus gym visits may maintain my sanity better.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

SimiRed

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #111 on: October 08, 2015, 07:45:20 PM »
Hence why I will never go there.... I'm on the "what's meant to be will be" train.  I'm thinking it'll take me longer than most, since I won't trust the intentions of anyone anytime soon.  The silence just gets louder and louder. 

I do laugh at the stories above though, it is quite hilarious that one can not remember who they have contacted. 

~Tracey~
My wonderful husband Rick of 19 years, 12/11/67 - 9/20/09 Neuroendocrine cancer.
I still miss you everyday, I go forward, but my mind stands still.

Guaruj

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #112 on: October 08, 2015, 07:51:37 PM »
I am trying to figure out if she's just a crazy-busy professional barely stuffing all her tasks into 24 hours or if this is a filter to get rid of guys who are easily discouraged.

You are overly generous to describe her as "professional". She writes like an idiot. In those four lines you copied from her, the only punctuation I saw was the apostrophe in "Can't".

I suppose one explanation was that she was using a smartphone to chat with you. In any case, one has to wonder how seriously she takes all of this.

|+|  M a r k  |+|

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #113 on: October 08, 2015, 08:47:48 PM »
Rob, I'm sorry to hear the first lady is not working out.
If it takes too much work, this early on, to create a mutual desire for both, then it is not worth your time, or hers. I know you were hopeful. Kissing should just happen and should not be tricky. It should just be awesome!

As for the married lady, way too common on these sites. So many married men contact me. Some openly, some only admit after I prod a bit. The man I met last night told me he met someone, a doctor, who could only see him Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. She eventually fessed up that she was married.

Your minimal messager....well I have one of those right now and we actually met for a coffee last week. In person he talked up a storm though. Now we are back to short texts.  Still wondering if he is interested or not.

Rob, tell that monster to take a hike!! It will happen. That Rob T magic will work! Explore other options that you may not have before. Someone that is interesting but maybe not your usual type.  You never know. I took this approach and am chatting with a few right now. I met another gentleman yesterday and I was pleasantly surprised. We shall see what happens next. He asked me on a "real" date and I accepted.

Mark, re the punctuation, you are so right. I read that last line as she can't have any meeting with Rob, not that she had a meeting! My minimal texter also does not use punctuation and as short as his messages are, there are times I have to double check what he is trying to actually say.

Tracey, I am glad that at least some of these stories make you laugh. I was just telling a friend from here that, in a way, this is part of why I post some if these crazy stories. We all need a good laugh once in a while!

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #114 on: October 08, 2015, 09:58:29 PM »
Glad you could come here to vent, Rob, but sorry you had reason to.
I like everyone's good words shared here with you.

I wish it wasn't such a minefield to navigate, but it is. And the energy required to stay hopeful and present with it all is challenging, for sure. And those anniversaries sure do trigger and bring raw stuff to the surface. We get it.

Maybe reminders to be gentle with yourself and take a breather for a little, the gym like you mentioned and, like momtokam suggested, doing some new things in town and considering giving some "a-typical for you" women a chance and see.

But what do I know - I'm still navigating in the dark minefield as well.
Wishing us all a fun weekend - you really never know what a day will bring, right?

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #115 on: October 12, 2015, 06:34:08 PM »
RobFTC, wondering .. any other communication with the succinct texter?
Anyone new with potential?

For the optimistic/hopeful/sociological experiment that is the 5 days and counting down until my match subscription expires, I made my profile visible, updated the words and photos, and added the tag line "carpe diem."

Sure 'nuf, another two men reached out to me who completely forgot our prior interactions.

To the first, a retired world traveler, I replied:

"Hi, ***,
Thanks for your note and nice words. Similar to the one you wrote intrigued by my last profile, which led us to several nice texts and phone conversations, a shared meal at Carrabbas, an impromptu visit to Best Buy where you kissed me in the parking lot ...never to hear from you again.
I hope you are well."

He actually replied with - "Hey there! I knew you looked familiar. How are you doing?"

 :o Really?

Pollyanna over here...you never know what a new day will bring.
Let the 5 day countdown to offline begin....

Anyone else with online updates - hopefully good and happy ones?
Chat soon.


momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #116 on: October 12, 2015, 10:26:24 PM »

Sure 'nuf, another two men reached out to me who completely forgot our prior interactions.

To the first, a retired world traveler, I replied:

"Hi, ***,
Thanks for your note and nice words. Similar to the one you wrote intrigued by my last profile, which led us to several nice texts and phone conversations, a shared meal at Carrabbas, an impromptu visit to Best Buy where you kissed me in the parking lot ...never to hear from you again.
I hope you are well."

He actually replied with - "Hey there! I knew you looked familiar. How are you doing?"

 :o Really?

Pollyanna over here...you never know what a new day will bring.
Let the 5 day countdown to offline begin....

Anyone else with online updates - hopefully good and happy ones?
Chat soon.

Hahahaha!!!!! Love your reply! Some of these guys just boggle my mind!
Good luck with your 5 day countdown!

My latest update...
Date 3 for me tomorrow, with my gentleman from last week, if I don't get a work call in the morning...☺ The "real" date is still scheduled for this Saturday night but we have not been able to wait till then!

I'm actually a little tiny bit sad I don't have any funny stories to share in this update. Maybe, just maybe, there won't be anymore for a while! 😉


RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #117 on: October 13, 2015, 10:25:56 AM »
RobFTC, wondering .. any other communication with the succinct texter?
Anyone new with potential?

No, my third attempt at suggesting a time was ignored, so I am done.

I did hear back from Mrs. Still Married, who was impressed with the way I worded my refusal to date a married woman and would like to get to know me more as a friend in some fashion.  I have not sorted out my thoughts on that enough to quite know what to say.  I could see an attachment developing when it should not, and could also see the banality of life killing all interest the same way that texting too much turns you into a zoo specimen and exposes the unattractive tics you have because you're so damned single.

Other than Mrs. Married, I think I have no prospects right now (no frowny face here).  That might be a good way to leave it for winter, really.  I have some other things I really should fix in my life.

Edited to add: I can step back from match.com, as I have contacted enough women to keep the six-month guarantee alive this month.  As if I want to keep in going another six months, right?

Rob T
« Last Edit: October 13, 2015, 10:28:45 AM by RobFTC »
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

imissdow

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #118 on: October 13, 2015, 01:40:06 PM »
For some reason ,boredom maybe, I went on line the other week.  Got  a message, one from a guy I had 2 dates with 2 years ago. On the second one he asked me for some details on my DH's death and I actually cried. I never heard from him after that although I have seen him several times. He attends my church.  Not sure why he contacted me if he wanted to talk he knows where to find me every Sunday. 

Got another message from a guy who has at least 2 profiles or maybe a evil twin. I got messages from both profiles a couple of days apart. So I did reply as he appears  to be someone I could at least do something with. I find it interesting that  I have yet to receive a  reply. Not that it really matters.

I went out on 3 dates back in the spring with a guy I really like. He owns a business and is super busy so we haven't gotten together since. I do talk to him semi regularly  and he does return calls. It's just a shame he's so busy because I really enjoyed him. Yet I also know that I would never be happy with a guy who's top priority is always his job. 

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #119 on: October 14, 2015, 06:34:41 PM »
He attends my church.  Not sure why he contacted me if he wanted to talk he knows where to find me every Sunday. 

... a guy who has at least 2 profiles...

I went out on 3 dates back in the spring with a guy I really like. He owns a business and is super busy so we haven't gotten together since. I do talk to him semi regularly  and he does return calls. It's just a shame he's so busy because I really enjoyed him. Yet I also know that I would never be happy with a guy who's top priority is always his job.

imissdow, such a minefield at times, right?
Sorry you have these lackluster experiences.
You may or may not have been asking for insights, but this is what I hear when I read your post....

I sense the man from church preferred the perceived anonymity of the screens between you on the dating site rather than be a stand-up gentleman and maybe ask you to lunch after church one Sunday to talk and get to know each other. You don't want him anyway. Wish him well and happy Sunday when you see him next, head high.

The two profiles man....I've seen that online as well. It is so obvious when the main photo is exactly the same and only the screen name is different and they are side-by-side on my search results.    ???  If anyone really wanted two profiles for some reason (different ages, stats, etc), at least change the main image.  Perhaps it is as simple as they "forgot" the other one and made a new email address and profile to log in again?

And the nice man from this spring that you enjoy and keep in touch with - it sounds like perhaps there is potential to explore there, like a friendship has been developed to grow from?  Maybe we can hear from the awesome men here on the board, but my male friends tell me that when a guy is really into you at the same time that he is fully ready to be "all in" a relationship - he is never "too busy" or working too hard to make time for you.  He lets you know with his words and actions that he wants to spend time with you.  So, perhaps it is just timing or finding out with a nice conversation with him if he can shift you in his mind from friend to "potential?" 

I know it is all so new and challenging, but I wish you - and us all well.
(three days and counting on my match subscription....tick tock LOL  8) )