Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 146240 times)

RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #120 on: October 15, 2015, 11:27:44 AM »
He attends my church.  Not sure why he contacted me if he wanted to talk he knows where to find me every Sunday. 

I sense the man from church preferred the perceived anonymity of the screens between you on the dating site rather than be a stand-up gentleman and maybe ask you to lunch after church one Sunday to talk and get to know each other. You don't want him anyway. Wish him well and happy Sunday when you see him next, head high.

That seems quite a harsh judgement.  I find it kind of a zoo at church on a Sunday morning, and trying to A) get time to talk to someone and B) to do it in so public a fashion does not work well for me.  Plus we have multiple services and attendance isn't always reliable, so I have never been able to reliably click with someone in particular.  For these reasons, I have in fact responded to ads on dating sites instead of trying to get it done in church.  Maybe they thought of me as you do of this guy, but I'd maintain I had sensible reasons.

Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #121 on: October 15, 2015, 04:41:25 PM »
Oh goodness, Rob, no harsh judgment or any judgment at all intended or inferred to that gentleman, to you or to anyone. It was only one sense of an infinite number of things it could be. None of us, other than imissdow, knows that gentleman personally; none of us knows what his motivations or lack thereof entail, nor do we know the size of the congregation, number of services, or how easy or difficult it is to connect with congregants there socially. Is there an church directory, a direct way of saying hi by email, a casual hello at a random passing in the social hall before or after a Sunday service? May I get you a lemonade? Would you like to join me and sit here and have some dessert together? No need for us here to get into the details and I apologize if any cursory response on my part struck a personal nerve with you for any reason. I was being gentle with one member of our supportive online community; we are all simply trying to find our way.  I was just sharing one scenario of one possibility with imissdow after a social interaction she had with one person that triggered her tears. That's all.
Be well.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2015, 06:28:37 PM by SunshineFL »

singinmomo4

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #122 on: October 17, 2015, 12:34:31 PM »
My frustration (and why I never seem to stay online for very long) are the number of scammers or non "talkers" I get.  I can't stand when I get messages like the ones I got just this morning.  One guy with no picture and very little in his profile messages me to say "Hi".  Yes, that's it, just "Hi".  Then an hour later he sends me another message that says "Good Morning".  Then there is another one who says "Hello, how ru".  Really?  I don't need a novel or anything but something that would require more of a response than "I'm well thank you" or "Good Morning" back.  And it seems to be all I ever get.  I'd like to know the person has a pulse and isn't just a scammer sending feelers out to get a response. 
Rick, an amazing husband, father, fisherman & fisher of men with a servants heart who served God every day. ReRe, miss your smile & twinkle in your eye.

Bear Shannon

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #123 on: October 18, 2015, 05:48:37 AM »
My frustration (and why I never seem to stay online for very long) are the number of scammers or non "talkers" I get.  I can't stand when I get messages like the ones I got just this morning.  One guy with no picture and very little in his profile messages me to say "Hi".  Yes, that's it, just "Hi".  Then an hour later he sends me another message that says "Good Morning".  Then there is another one who says "Hello, how ru".  Really?  I don't need a novel or anything but something that would require more of a response than "I'm well thank you" or "Good Morning" back.  And it seems to be all I ever get.

I get that daily on FB from both gals and dudes, SMO4.  :)

 
Quote
  I'd like to know the person has a pulse and isn't just a scammer sending feelers out to get a response.

Yep .. any future love connection will happen in real life or not at all for Bear. Online just seems too weird from what I've read on the board.
Peace ~ Bear

Laurie RIP (Married 1980 .. Widowed 2005)

"Grief can destroy you -- or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it."
~ Odd Thomas (Dean Kootnz)

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #124 on: October 20, 2015, 06:41:46 PM »
Hello fellow online daters,  hopeful daters, and funny story sharers and seekers!

I have good news and bad news....

First the bad news...4 dates and done.  Too bizarre to even try to explain in a public forum, so I won't go there.

Good news...I will probably will be able to share funny stories again! Not sure when though. Can't handle getting back on the sites quite yet. We shall see!

I do hope to be making you all laugh and smile again soon though!

MrsDan

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #125 on: October 22, 2015, 06:55:53 PM »
Here's one. People who message, there's some back and forth, but they do nothing to advance the conversation. I'll ask questions, or make a comment, but they don't ask any questions. And I would think, okay, they're just not interested, but they keep responding. And then it feels like I'm doing all the work. Only two guys were really good at it, one the guy I liked who disappeared and the other I'm still texting and like personally but just don't feel an attraction to.

One guy seems reason interesting on paper, and he messages me every couple days and asks how I'm doing but offers nothing by way of sharing interesting things about himself. And I've given him opportunities. It's completely boring. But I'm still talking to him because he keeps reaching out to me. How am I doing? Shit, that's how I'm doing! But I'm not going to share that with you because despite my attempts, we're not really getting to know each other are we? And I don't get the vibe that he's just some jerk stringing me along, I think he's probably very sweet but just not very good at this. But dude, give me something to work with!
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #126 on: October 26, 2015, 05:20:29 PM »
MrsDan,

Try seeing if he is up to a phone conversation maybe.
Some are not good at text/written communication but maybe over a real conversation may be more personable. Worth a try at least.

MrsDan

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #127 on: October 26, 2015, 07:01:24 PM »
Oh get this I did get him talking. We messaged for awhile, then he asked about my weekend, then didn't read it and hasn't logged back on. I answered his bland messages for two weeks, because I kept thinking, there has to be more to this guy, there was, and then poof! I should work for witness protection. I sure am good at making guys disappear.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #128 on: October 26, 2015, 09:43:09 PM »
Oh boy!  It's not you MrsDan. Don't take it personally at all.
It's the on line dating "poof" phenomenon!

Not sure why someone can't just say something after numerous conversations with you. Instead they choose to just magically go "poof"!

Before my 4 date whirlwind disaster, I was chatting with a couple other gentlemen as well. One really wanted to meet and we had talked on the phone and had a very nice conversation. Then I met my whirlwind man.  I told this other man I wanted to give this a chance and I wasn't very good at dating mutiple men at once and I explained the whole poof thing to him and that I didn't want to do that to him without an explanation. He was so appreciative and nice about it. Hoped we would have another shot at a later time.

I know... I'm an odd duck in this crazy pond!

TalksToAngels

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #129 on: October 26, 2015, 10:00:09 PM »
The online is at times so inpersonable. If someone isn't interested it will seem to them "why bother responding. All etiquette goes out the window. If someone is interested usually it seemed, to me anyway, they would make it known. If not, it usually means time to move on.
Mrs. Dan I would not take it personal. Most people, if they haven't met, or even if they have, it seems with this age of tech, don't weigh their feelings or feel need for explanations. They just vanish.

MrsDan

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #130 on: October 27, 2015, 08:29:49 PM »
Well, he did respond, so I asked him for coffee. We'll see....
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

nonesuch

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #131 on: October 28, 2015, 06:43:03 AM »
What may be needed is less social media, more social skills

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #132 on: October 28, 2015, 05:37:46 PM »
What may be needed is less social media, more social skills

You would think that men in my age range (45-55) would have developed some social skills because we didn't grow up on social media. I can understand this maybe from the younger set, but I didn't expect this from my age range.

MrsDan

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #133 on: October 28, 2015, 07:38:06 PM »
I just got the dickiest message:"I know I messaged you a few times, your not interested just say so​". Fuck you dude, I don't owe you anything. Did you message? I don't remember, which means we were a pretty low match, or your message wasn't memorable. Also, the fact that I didn't respond IS me saying so. Then I got this gem:  "Going by your profile, I deserve you more than you can ever imagine..." oh, okay I'll just take your word for it. Now, I did get a nice message from a guy saying he wanted to reply to my thoughtful message, but he's pretty busy and doesn't have time for much meaningful correspondence. So I wrote back, telling him that was the nicest thanks but no thanks I've ever gotten. And it was. I probably wouldn't have bothered.

In other news, aforementioned guy and I are trying to get together for coffee. I actually suspect he is probably not wired for social media communication, but think he's worth the chance in the real world. I kept going back to his profile and thinking, I don't know I just think there's more to this guy than his messages indicate and once I got him talking, he was as interesting as I suspected. But I can't really fault him, it's such a weird place to communicate, and there are so many conflicting opinions on how to successfully navigate it. Wait this long, say this or that. All these "rules" about what you're supposed to do.
 
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

Torn

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #134 on: October 29, 2015, 07:40:18 AM »
  So a female "friend of family" suggested that I consider online 'dating' websites (wait for it).

 So I was considering doing so and had started a profile,when I got a message from a lady my age ,I said hello & we messaged back and forth for 15 minutes,when she asked me if I could receive photos & videos.
  She proceeded to send me a video of her as she put it 'pleasuring herself'.

 Holy smoke, I deleted my profile & haven't considered online dating anymore.
   Have I lost my mind or was that a CRAZY thing to do?
 
  Is it common that dating sites , have lunatics like I just mentioned? I'm really interested to know.
  Thanks to all of you men and women who posted their crazy and funny stories to this thread.
 I'm still laughing inside thinking of several WINNERS mentioned.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant