Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 143972 times)

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #180 on: December 12, 2015, 11:30:13 AM »
Not sure I am that determined. I try and that is all I can do. I know it only takes one.  Who knows how we will find each other eventually.

In the meantime....more interesting stories to share.

I had someone contact me. Their picture had a copyright from a blog of a 27 year old motorcycler in the US. This man's profile shows 51, and in my city In Canada. He says he is clean shaven now with shorter hair and wants to send me new pics (that's because that is not him in the picture of course). I play along and ask about the picture to see how far he will go.

After a couple messages I call him on it and of course no more contact. I contacted the blogger but have not heard back yet.

He wasn't even smart enough to crop out the copyright before posting!
Even dumber is he still has the picture on his profile.

TheOtherHalf

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #181 on: December 12, 2015, 12:19:48 PM »
I get this more deeply than you know. Coupledom has never really been  my thing. When I was young, I needed a man around at all times. I could not bear being alone. With all my men (ha ha, I make it sound like there were a lot, but there was always someone, and usually each boyfriend lasted between 4-6 years until I married, ostensibly so I'd never have to be alone again) what made it worth it for me was all the laughter, sex, food, and long walks. Lots of long walks. And lots of sex. And food. And music. This alone made life worth living to me, and I never wanted anything else really, outside these things - except to settle down and have a family when the right time availed itself.

But relationships never worked out for me. There was always some irreconcilable struggle, and I switched from wanting to be a part of a couple to wanting friendship above everything else. The kinds of friendship I remember as a child and young adult when I had good friends. Lots of give and take and laughs - but the best part is that friends, by and large, don't leave you and don't break your heart.

So my aim for friendship has been so consistently thwarted over the last 15 years, I have finally given up on that as well.

I  meet lots of would be friends, who would bend my ear endlessly about their lives, and very few would even pretend to take an interest in mine. Or, when I came to talk about my life, they would literally laugh at my problems. And that was after bending my ear, sometimes for hours about their problems, their interests, their lives. They didn't even appreciate all the listening I did, all the thoughtful feed back, all the carefully couched, circumspect advice. They didn't care about my care at all.

So I'd meet each potential new friend like you would meet each potential new mate. With high hopes getting dashed at every turn.

I no longer believe in friendship and no longer look for it. If I want that in my life again, I am going to have find it through the dating game. But relationships for me, end up being a thousand times lonelier than being alone, especially if you're peaceful and happy in your own skin, which I mostly am by now.

My words were meant to give you support and encouragement, but it seems I missed the mark.

The reason why I'm offering this now, is that I attract the same kinds of blindly self serving two faced jerks as potential friends over and over again. So I have pulled out of the friendship quest altogether until I find out what it is about me that makes people think they can take whatever they want, then walk all over me as if I am garbage.

That's how these guys are treating you. If I were in your position, ,that's how I would feel too. It's not that you and I are garbage, but I think it behooves us both to find out either why we are drawn to people who treat us like that, or figure out why we may actually feel like that on the inside, unconsciously.

The unconscious is so powerful it will draw people who are a reflection of us in some capacity. So if they treat us like nothing, I think we need to find out what it is that makes us feel like we are nothing on the inside.

Not sure if this is going to make any more sense to you or not. I do feel badly to see so much hurt and disappointment come to you and I do hope that turns around for you.


Edited to add: My favorite, when it came to "friends"  is how some of them would wax poetic about how wonderful they are. What great mothers they are. What a fantastic work ethic they have. How the shine in all they do, and are a beacon to all who's eyes light upon them. And how they are loved and surrounded by love - how they have lots of friends who adore them, how they are at the top of their game in their respective careers, etc. Then, after they've reached some kind of cerebral orgasm with all that, turn their attention to pointing out everything that's wrong with me. Like "You really like mythology, don't you. That's a bit weird..."  and the unasked for critique would begin to gain momentum until some kind of explosive, cerebral multi-orgasm is achieved. And then people wonder why I want to be a prostitute. It's because I want to be paid for a change for all the pleasure I give.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2015, 01:03:32 PM by TheOtherHalf »

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #182 on: December 13, 2015, 12:39:53 AM »
TheOtherHalf, thank you for offering support and encouragement.
You didn't miss the mark at all.

Most of these stories are from on line encounters before I've met them and mostly have no intention of meeting those particular prospects. They have not hurt me in any way, just given me some insight on what is out there and some entertainment value.

When I first started on line dating, I had no clue what I was doing. I had not dated in 26 years.  I started this thread to both share my experiences as possible help and support for others like me and to offer some much needed laughter at times that we all need.

When I see others post on this thread with similar stories, it helps me to not think I am nuts, and that I am not alone in my experiences.  I hope I can make others feel the same. I wish I was given some of this insight early on.

Hurt and disappointment  are part of this on line dating stuff but I get it and I am strangely accepting of it in a weird way. Thank you for the good wishes. I know one day good things will come. In the meantime I will keep enlightening and entertaining you folks with the not so good!

Sorry for rambling so late....I just can't seem to fall asleep tonight.

« Last Edit: December 13, 2015, 07:11:27 AM by momtokam »

TheOtherHalf

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #183 on: December 13, 2015, 12:53:15 AM »
Oh I'm glad. I get very self conscious about my posts. I got to do a lot of venting myself and feel much better for it, so thanks for allowing me the room. I've been dying to get all that off my chest forever.

Of course you should keep venting. I shall try to refrain from rescuing you from this worthy enterprise.

I'll just offer my own vents, about a boyfriend situation that, you guessed it, no one on this earth can relate to. But, I don't have to date him, do I? That's what your thread did for me. Thank you for starting it.

I'm up too, as you can see. Take care.

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #184 on: December 13, 2015, 07:13:19 AM »
Vent away and I'm so glad this thread helped you!

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #185 on: January 09, 2016, 10:45:47 AM »
Time for an update 😊.....

...So you all thought "Hi" was as lame a message as you could get???
I received a "H r u"....couldn't even type out the words!

...Received "STD free?"..... as an entire first message....

...Decided to message a few more after a little break...Progress!...no replies but....they didn't hide their profiles! 😀

...New feature on OKC...you can link up your profile to your partners if you use any other status but single....All I can think is 😨

I need a palm hits forehead emoji.....

...Forgot one...."Such a babe"....he was 37!
« Last Edit: January 09, 2016, 10:52:25 AM by momtokam »

RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents......
« Reply #186 on: January 09, 2016, 05:58:44 PM »
I saw that on OKCupid.  I guess it goes with some of the couples I have seen on there looking to add a third, which also sorta fits the astonishing number of people listing as bisexual on there.  All very interesting.  Makes me feel way more vanilla than I actually am! :-)

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #187 on: January 09, 2016, 11:03:24 PM »
Yes Rob, I think it may be for the 3somes...
Not sure if men are approached for this but I know I have been. I never would have thought it was a big enough deal to have a new feature geared for it. Oh boy, I guess I am too vanilla as well.

To all those that read this thread....

I thought I would change the title of this thread a little. I wanted it to better represent how this thread has evolved to include some of the laughs as well as the vents. ☺

RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #188 on: January 10, 2016, 10:35:23 AM »
Yup, ya gots ta laugh!  8)

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #189 on: January 10, 2016, 01:17:52 PM »
Yup, ya gots ta laugh!  8)

Take care,
Rob T

Sure do!
Guess what?
I did it again! A man I messaged hid his profile!!! 😁
« Last Edit: January 10, 2016, 01:36:11 PM by momtokam »

Torn

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #190 on: January 10, 2016, 01:27:18 PM »
Ya know...hmmm hmmm
  What tha heck are people thinking?
Well never mind,I really don't care what they're thinking.
  I'm so vanilla,I'm like French vanilla smirl with basic vanilla.

Its odd to me that promiscuity has become a quality to some degree..
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

fairlanegirl

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #191 on: January 10, 2016, 03:50:43 PM »
  I'm so vanilla,I'm like French vanilla smirl with basic vanilla.
Thanks Torn that made me grin - I am happy enough to be vanilla (each to their own of course!), but prefer to think of it as French vanilla made with real vanilla pods, free range egg yolks and organic cream perhaps. Maybe in an affogato :-)

Meema

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #192 on: January 11, 2016, 09:41:18 PM »
I've been chatting off and on tonight with someone on okcupid, silly light-hearted stuff, until he just asked me if I'd ever been slapped around by a man before. Nope. No thanks. BLOCKED

daysofelijah

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #193 on: January 12, 2016, 05:45:34 PM »
Oh my there's some good "bad" stories in this thread. Thanks for sharing. I met my late dh online, and my current guy as well. So things weren't all bad. I don't have horror stories. I don't get what the guys are thinking though, when their first contact is to ask what size my breasts are. I want to say seriously? does that like work for you creeper? But I just blocked and moved on, lol.
Amy, mom to four (14,13,9,5)

Lisa

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« Last Edit: January 13, 2016, 09:55:38 AM by Lisa »
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