Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161782 times)

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #645 on: July 28, 2016, 10:18:49 AM »
I agree, Forgotten. I try to be the one to suggest the meeting place. Somewhere that I am familiar with but that is reasonable, distance wise. For the guy I did meet, the first time I chose somewhere that I thought would be about half-way between us. I got there first and scoped the scene, figuring if he looked like his photo, etc. I would give it a go. It was a public place and at lunchtime so there were a lot of people around.
Love that you got the readings, Needy :) I've thought about it too!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SemperFidelis

  • Member
  • Posts: 222
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #646 on: July 28, 2016, 11:21:52 AM »
Klim, big giant no on hot tub guy. He has made his motive and agenda clear. He must think ALL the women he meets are idiots.

And you are right about the FB thing....we all do it probably....pretty normal is my guess. It would be another matter if your address was pulled up on Google maps, lol.

Captains wife

  • Member
  • Posts: 638
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #647 on: July 28, 2016, 03:52:56 PM »
Klim - that's a definite no. Ugh

nonesuch

  • Guest
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #648 on: July 29, 2016, 08:38:54 PM »
One fellow I met wanted to see my linkedin profile.  I didn't blame him, why not use all the tools at your disposal? 

I Googled email addresses and once one of them was actually identified as a spammer.

klim

  • Member
  • Posts: 444
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #649 on: July 29, 2016, 10:05:40 PM »
ok you guys are becoming my online dating advice posse....should we have new thread for this?

Right now I feel like a cocktease online. I'm talking to 6 ar 7 different guys...a lot of them hinting toward coffe dates, some of them trying to line them up. There are some of them I think it's a no...but my personality is such that i always try and give people a chance, i root for the underdog, I hope for the best......so am I stringing them along or is this ok to give them a chance.I'm not professing any high interest but just polite conversation, friendly and light.
Thoughts?

Momtojandj

  • Member
  • Posts: 278
  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #650 on: July 30, 2016, 12:04:10 AM »
Klim, I would go on the coffee dates. . I dont think your stringing  them along . You said some you feel are a no, they could be the ones that surprise you .
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

Forgottenwife

  • Member
  • Posts: 126
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #651 on: July 30, 2016, 11:43:10 AM »
Cocktease is a pretty strong word! Nah, you are just politely chatting. Klim coffee dates sound fun, maybe you can decide based on why you think each one is a no? If you are just wasting your time and you absolutely know, for whatever your reasons are, that it is a no, then skip that one. I liked to put a time limit on coffee dates so before you even go, say you only have so much time and you have to be somewhere at a specific time. Then if it is awkward or just bad you can bail easily.

Have fun!

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #652 on: July 30, 2016, 06:15:18 PM »
klim -- new thread for a discussion of the process of online dating might not be a bad idea, since this one was for venting and such ... would love to join in!

So I started watching Matthew Hussey's videos on Youtube and got one of his online books as well; he talks about the fact that while dating, if we focus on one person, what if he's not 'the one'? We might have let 'the one' go by because we were not willing to take the coffee date. I have had two of three texters ghost on me over the last week and a half, while one is still hanging in there. Texter actually sent me a message a little while ago, asking if he could call me. Haven't responded as I am preparing to have dinner with guy I have been meeting. I'll answer texter tomorrow, since the other thing Matthew says in his videos is that we can take our time ... I know I like to answer messages right away but I am learning to let them sit for a bit. You might want to check him out ... pretty good advice from a cute young British fellow :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SemperFidelis

  • Member
  • Posts: 222
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #653 on: July 30, 2016, 08:01:28 PM »
Me, I can't get to far into the "what if I am dating the one who isn't the one? What if I let the one go"

Otherwise I find myself in a sea of discontent and thinking the grass could be greener. Works better for me to commit to one in my mind (of certain criteria are met) and give it my 100%.
This of course coming from someone who has absolutely minimal dating experience, let alone dating more than one person at a time.

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #654 on: July 31, 2016, 10:13:40 AM »
Makes sense, Semper. I guess I would say that also having minimal experience with all this, I am leaving openings for conversation but am fully focused on what is tangible. 'Guy I met' is tangible and I am 100% present in that. Texter gets minimal attention at this point and besides, he does not live around here.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

momtokam

  • Member
  • Posts: 554
  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #655 on: July 31, 2016, 10:34:26 AM »
Hello gang!

Nice to see some nice discussion here. I am enjoying reading these. Perhaps I'll have some more material to add soon.

I have no problems with all kinds of on line dating discussions on this thread.  I think it's good to keep on line  dating talk together....vents...laughs....advice...All of it is relevant to what we face with on line dating. All of it is welcome and I wish more was here when I first started dating!




Captains wife

  • Member
  • Posts: 638
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #656 on: August 01, 2016, 08:41:34 AM »
I think multi-contact, multi-dating is just fine - who  knows what could happen ? And men can go poof very quickly so you need to keep options open until you meet someone you want to date exclusively and vice versa.

I went on a very nice date on Sat night with a decent match for me - but he kept agonizing over the fact that I lived an hour south of the city (even though I work in the city and my inlaws have a house in the next town over). I explained to him that while not ideal in some ways, I have seriously dated 2 men in the past 3 years and one was in Boston and one local and I honestly saw them about the same amount - given how busy everyone is (and this new guy has 3 kids, full time job and lots else going on). So night ends kind of awkwardly and I deleted his number as I didn't want to bother. Then he starts texting me yesterday, just to chat so I do respond to his texts. THEN at 7AM this morning I get this VERY LONG text from him - to tell me that he has thought about me a lot since Sat and  he has been "agonizing" over what to do. While he thinks we are a good match, he doesn't think its possible to sustain a relationship with me "so so far away" and that he needs to go with his gut on this.

I appreciated his honesty - but seriously how lazy are people ? It takes almost 40min to even drive across Boston from where he lives. I guess he is hoping to meet someone within 5 miles - good luck to him. I sent a very nice text back and wished him well but I was honestly thinking - you tool... Next !

momtokam

  • Member
  • Posts: 554
  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #657 on: August 01, 2016, 10:37:07 AM »
I'm so sorry CW. Yes he is a tool!

In the spring I had an initial phone date with what I and he both thought would be a fabulous match. His messages to me on the dating site were all about how crazy the same we were. My location is posted on the dating site and we are in the same city.

The conversation was great, etc., and we really clicked. When he realized I was 16km away, about 10 miles, he said it was too far and it would be hard to see each other! 

He wanted to talk again and I asked for a coffee to actually meet. He had his kids that weekend and I said no problem, early in the week would be fine. He said, he didn't want to wait that long and by then "The rose would fade."

Yup! Another tool!

momtokam

  • Member
  • Posts: 554
  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #658 on: August 01, 2016, 10:54:01 AM »
As to the question....How far and elaborate will a scammer go?

Setting up a company website, company email, photos of directors(yes, plural), and contact info...OMG!
The cherry on top you ask????  Oil industry! 😁

I seriously must have scammer target on my forehead!


Captains wife

  • Member
  • Posts: 638
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #659 on: August 01, 2016, 11:05:49 AM »
Ugh - momtokandk...some people are pathetic and I cant stand time wasters/scammers. Wish we could round them all up and throw away the key.