Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 144586 times)

Captains wife

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #660 on: August 01, 2016, 12:26:47 PM »
Ok - so some wise ass just emailed me and asked if I would like to buy him dinner ? And a bunch of guys out of my age range and desirability range just emailed me about how they are the perfect match for "a woman like me".  I'm starting to get dating fatigue again - sigh

SemperFidelis

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #661 on: August 01, 2016, 03:19:57 PM »
Momtokam, wow what strange behavior..... I wonder what his deal is. None of his behavior adds up or is cocnsistent.... Well, I guess it's consistently all over the place.

MrsDan

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #662 on: August 01, 2016, 04:01:26 PM »
You know, from my observations, it seems like the distance thing is one area where people have really unrealistic expectations. Some people search their whole lives for their perfect match, and you expect him/her to live right down the street? And it's something that seems to be an issue on both sides, the people my fellow widows are meeting, and sometimes the widows themselves. I don't get it, like super long distance I get, but I've heard of people complaining about a half hour. My boyfriend lives a half hour away; it's not a huge deal.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #663 on: August 01, 2016, 04:11:17 PM »
MrsDan -- totally agree. I am in Southern California so nothing is close lol! I am not up for the out of state dude after my first interaction with a scammer and after deciding I don't have a problem looking and even responding to those who might be farther away, I tell them up front that I am interested in someone local, who I could actually meet for a meal or a coffee. The last texter guy may have faded away; he's out of state and sent me a message on Saturday to ask if he could call me. Nope -- I was cooking dinner for the local guy I like :) I actually waited until later to send a message, indicating that I had been busy. He sent a 'hello' message and then didn't respond anymore. He'd also asked me if I thought I was ready for a relationship. Please, guy. But I digress: local guy I like lives about an hour from me. We often meet for meals or movies somewhere in between. When we got together for the 4th of July, he drove to my house so we could ride together to the fireworks location, which was about halfway between anyway. I think it boils down to how interested are both parties.

CaptainsWife -- seriously, we need to do an internet roundup of the knuckleheads. I've had a spat of winks and so on from people who are either not in the age range (what's up with the guys my kids' ages?!) or who have none of the 'looking for' traits I have clearly listed on my profile? I wrote a rant about it (this particular site has a diary section where you can post stuff that others read) and had a very nice young man send me a message, complimenting me on what I'd said and that I used correct punctuation and grammar, which was nice to get instead of his trying to connect lol!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #664 on: August 01, 2016, 04:13:45 PM »
Oh, and as an aside, what we've all mentioned here is the tip of the iceberg. If you want to laugh until you cry (or maybe just to cry), check out the Tinder laughs on Pinterest at https://www.pinterest.com/o0ashlea0o/tinder-laughs/. The things people will say are shameless! I have a friend on Facebook who posts some of the most hysterical conversations she's had with these men who want to just hook up. She is crude but they don't seem to care ... it is a crazy world!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

serpico

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #665 on: August 01, 2016, 06:46:58 PM »
A moderate distance wouldn't have been a deal-breaker for me, but I also don't think someone who thinks it is should be considered a 'tool'. I wonder if the level of hostility required to make such a distinction is showing through in dating communications?

This probably sounds like a criticism but it's really more of an observation or a question, but one may take it as one wishes...
'I think I got some of your pickle'

nonesuch

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #666 on: August 01, 2016, 08:20:30 PM »
I met a man who thought we could maintain a relationship living 100 miles apart.  It maybe might have worked for him, but honestly, I don't make that kind of money.  I really couldn't afford to put 5000 extra miles on my car every year commuting to be with him.  He didn't offer to pay for it, either, and I still work for a living.  I'm an 'old' young widow, at 59, so I didn't want to move and change jobs with maybe six or eight more years of work ahead of me.

Captains wife

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #667 on: August 02, 2016, 06:28:05 AM »
Thanks Serpico - so appreciate your feedback. I don't often get upset about people's responses to my posts but this one was really uncalled for.  I wasn't hostile at all to this person. I was very nice on the date about it and sent him a very nice text in response. The point of this section is to vent and I am venting my frustration. I think I have every reason to be frustrated with dating given some of the men I've encountered and this is my outlet to do that. While I appreciated this guys honesty, ruling me out on a distance seems unfair and I didn't share with the group his correspondence on it or how he handled it. If distance was such an issue we shouldn't have gone out in the first place. And I have a few more dates lined with with new people so I'm moving on.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2016, 06:54:57 AM by Captains wife »

kjs1989

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #668 on: August 02, 2016, 08:19:49 AM »
I agree 100% with you, Captain's Wife. Very condescending and patronizing of the guy to contact you again and then say he was "agonizing" over his decision whether or not to pursue getting to know you. 

Just go away then, Dude!

Vent away, CW.

And Serpico, how very condescending of you, too. To label someone hostile for venting frustration, and then backhandedly caveat it by saying you're not criticizing, just observing, but to take it as one would wish ? 

Please.

Why do some veteran posters, of all people, forget this is supposed to be a safe site to say what we need to say without judgment. Time and time again I don't get it.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2016, 11:42:42 AM by kjs1989 »

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #669 on: August 02, 2016, 11:53:28 AM »
If distance was such an issue we shouldn't have gone out in the first place.

This was the point that made him a tool!

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #670 on: August 02, 2016, 12:16:24 PM »

This probably sounds like a criticism but it's really more of an observation or a question, but one may take it as one wishes...


Of course it was meant as a criticism....if it wasn't, you wouldn't need to point that out. When someone feels the need to mention that something is not meant as criticism,  it usually is...

Serpico, you really have no idea what some of us have to deal with, as women, with on line dating and regular dating in fact.

This thread was created to be a safe place to vent our frustrations and share our experiences, and maybe have a laugh or two. It's not a place to be handed some passive aggressive criticism.

End of vent.....

Quixote

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #671 on: August 02, 2016, 04:20:45 PM »
I hope that hypothetical girlfriend would be okay with distance--  I live on the outskirts of a town of 2400 people.  Distance can matter in practical terms, though.  To take an extreme example, I ran into an old friend in the airport (I'm a pilot, she's a flight attendant) and she gave me the "next time you're in City X, let's get together".  But I'm not going to fly three hours on a day off for dinner.  It's borderline stalkerish.  So I doubt said dinner is going to happen. 

MrsDan

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #672 on: August 03, 2016, 07:36:26 AM »
A moderate distance wouldn't have been a deal-breaker for me, but I also don't think someone who thinks it is should be considered a 'tool'. I wonder if the level of hostility required to make such a distinction is showing through in dating communications?

This probably sounds like a criticism but it's really more of an observation or a question, but one may take it as one wishes...

See, I think the thing that makes him a tool is the whole "he has been "agonizing" over what to do" part. Because to me it reads as, "I've been trying to decide if you're worth it." He could have presented it much differently. His approach was very self centered, in my opinion.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

Captains wife

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #673 on: August 03, 2016, 07:52:15 AM »
Sooo.. guy I dated recently for 3 months tried to friend a bunch of my female friends on FB (who he had only met once) and I found out last night he started texting one of my friends this past week (he had her cell number as he was texting pics of an event we all went to a few weeks ago). He did ask about me BUT he kept just texting her about other stuff, asking how she was, sending pics of him sailing etc. She has since blocked his cell number (as have I). WOW - this is a whole 'nother level of inappropriateness. Nothing surprises me anymore in dating...
« Last Edit: August 03, 2016, 08:08:44 AM by Captains wife »

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #674 on: August 03, 2016, 09:24:49 AM »
(shaking head) CaptainsWife -- I have no words. Sending hugs your way! That's just ... oh wait, I do have a word: gross.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b