Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 145846 times)

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #690 on: August 05, 2016, 12:21:07 PM »
Ok, so I said the heck with it .. And this is my new profile summary .. Please be honest

After trying dating sites, I decided to be blunt , and honest .   I'm 47 years old, a widow and mom of two teenage boys . I have no time to chase any guy , I think the guy should make the first move . Enough with the likes, winks and favorite bulls@@t. Send an email . If I've given you my phone number , I would actually like to meet , not text endlessly .
I would love to have someone to share my life with , but I was lucky to be in love and had a wonderful husband . No reason to settle . Sadly after reading some profiles and going out on dates , I realize why some of you are still single.
What do I have to offer ? I'm always smiling. I realize life is short, so I have no time for petty arguments , or grudges. I'm a great kisser , cuddler and more 😉.
I love vacations, I believe it recharges the soul. I'm a whiz in the kitchen , but I also love to go out and try new places to eat . I love going to the gym , but I'm up for kayaking , walking , or doing a rugged maniac race. I'm a great mom , friend and person .
What am I looking for ? I won't date anyone old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son . Married, still in love with your ex, or blame her for the breakup.. Move on .. So am I too blunt .. Maybe .. But I'm looking for a man , not a child that plays games .
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

SemperFidelis

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #691 on: August 05, 2016, 12:46:54 PM »
Momtojandj, love the forward approach. Here are my suggestions (hey I never knew I enjoyed proofing so much lol).

If I was tweaking it, I would omit the part about being a good kisser etc.....strictly to keep those at bay who have no serious intents and just want a hookup.....unless you are open to that too.

I might also consider adjusting the bit about "I realize why some of you are still single. " as you want to keep it clear who you are writing to....the exceptional guy who gets a date with you or the no good weirdo. It might come across as a premature insult to the good guy. A more palatable variation could be "I realize why some men on here are still single".

I would also re-order/merge your last paragraph with your 2nd paragraph. This keeps it more in order. Basically moving final paragraph to be right after the bit about seeing why some men are single. This also leaves your summary on a high note(you).

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #692 on: August 05, 2016, 12:57:46 PM »
Semper.....great advice! Reworked :

After trying dating sites, I decided to be blunt , and honest .   I'm 47 years old, a widow and mom of two teenage boys . I have no time to chase any guy , I think the guy should make the first move . Enough with the likes, winks and favorite bulls@@t. Send an email . If I've given you my phone number , I would actually like to meet , not text endlessly .
I would love to have someone to share my life with , but I was lucky to be in love and had a wonderful husband . No reason to settle . Sadly after reading some profiles and going out on dates , I realize why some men on here are still single. What am I looking for ? I won't date anyone old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son . Married, still in love with your ex, or blame her for the breakup.. Move on .. So am I too blunt .. Maybe .. But I'm looking for a man , not a child that plays games .
What do I have to offer ? I'm always smiling. I realize life is short, so I have no time for petty arguments , or grudges. I love vacations, I believe it recharges the soul. I'm a whiz in the kitchen , but I also love to go out and try new places to eat . I love going to the gym , but I'm up for kayaking , walking , or doing a rugged maniac race. Curling up on the couch and watching a movie or going to see a band play . I'm a great mom , friend and person .
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #693 on: August 05, 2016, 04:13:48 PM »
My updated profile, based on some of my experiences with on line dating....

14 reasons why you should NOT get to know me:

1. You send me a message with one word....I know how to read more than one word.
2. You have multiple pictures in your profile holding fish....I like to eat fish but don't care how many you have held.
3. Your profile pictures do not contain one smile on your face...I would like to date a happier person.
4. Your profile states you want a woman 25-35 years old and you are over 50......I know that with age comes so much more. Use your imagination.
5. Your pictures only show you wearing sports gear, ski suits, scuba suits, hockey gear, and bike helmets.... I wonder who is really under there.
6. You are only shown wearing sunglasses..... I wonder what you are hiding.
7. You fav me, wink at me, like my pictures and then immediately hide your profile or ignore my messages......I wonder why you bother.
8. You say you are easy going, fun, like to spend time with friends, and love your kids....I wonder why you need to point these things out.
9. You have 2 profiles up with different ages and locations but the same profile picture......I am not stupid.
10. You take selfies in the bathroom.... I am surprised that you didn't clean the bathroom first.
11. Your pictures are with a group of people......I don't know which one you are.
12. You are a pipeline engineer, you will say you are a widower, and you are out of town on important business, and will suddently need my help financially......Can there really be that many of you?
13. You don't reply to nice messages that clearly show I read your profile, even if to say "sorry not interested".... I do respond to messages like this, or I used to, until I recieved angry messages back.
14. You are not, nodding in agreement, smiling or maybe  even laughing at this list...We would not get along.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2016, 05:59:54 PM by momtokam »

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #694 on: August 05, 2016, 04:51:26 PM »
 ;D Hail to the Moms!  @momtojandj and @momtokam ... you go! Fun, lighthearted, senses of humor, honest, clear, confident, intelligent and beautiful. Really showing up.  Nice. 

Anyone who is sharp and empathetic, who could possibility put themselves in your shoes for just a moment, will appreciate your clever narratives.

Well done - thanks for sharing.
With a spark of inspiration from an awesome "writing elf" friend of mine (thanks momtokam!), I just posted a profile weaving a baseball narrative. Several men have written enjoying it, some have even responded in like fashion, jumping right into my tone of voice in my writing and continuing the story - very cool. We'll see - it only takes one. 

It is a little long to post here, so if you are really interested with nothing else to do for 10 minutes or so (LOL!), PM me and I'll tell you my screen name online there and you can read it.

I'm going to a singles meetup tonight in my area. A whopping 4 people RSVP'ed!  ::)

Chat soon, friends.

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #695 on: August 05, 2016, 05:05:17 PM »
Thank you my friend....

And SunshineFL's profile is definitely worth the read!
I just provided a little inspirarion and the writing queen made it come alive! I bow to her writing skills! 😊

Portside

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #696 on: August 05, 2016, 09:35:06 PM »

Anyone who is sharp and empathetic, who could possibility put themselves in your shoes for just a moment, will appreciate your clever narratives.


I love you guys but no, I must respectfully disagree. Remember, the idea is to market yourself to the broadest swath of decent men on the site you belong to.

I fear that both of these profiles try a bit too hard to be clever and come across as a bit smartassy. Yes, that's a word. I'm not confident guys on a site are seeking that.

I don't want to be critical without offering what I think are good alternatives so, if I have time later, I'll post some profiles from sites that I would find beckoning as examples.

If you shop your profile around and all your girlfriends think it is a home run, it probably isn't. After all, you aren't trying to land a woman. You have to write for the guys. This is true both ways - guys must write to appeal to the gals, gals must write to the guys.

My first attempts at profiles were disasters until I had some women friends help me edit them. 

I had much better success after their input.

Good luck - Mike
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #697 on: August 05, 2016, 10:04:32 PM »
Not really feeling the teachable moment here, Portside, but it is possible, without tone or context in email, that there was a subtle miss on reading the playful sarcasm trying to be conveyed. Similar profiles have definitely achieved the spark to prompt fun and kind messages and conversation from men online.  Playful banter. Lighthearted conversation back and forth.  Not all are the same-intentioned online, no doubt.  But sure, do share, would love to read some profiles from sites that you would find beckoning as examples.

nonesuch

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #698 on: August 05, 2016, 10:15:30 PM »
Sadly after reading some profiles and going out on dates , I realize why some of you are still single.
If I ever have to do the online thing again, I am so using this.

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #699 on: August 06, 2016, 08:22:36 AM »
Portside,
 I could see how my profile would be smartassy, but I only did it after much thought. For some reason match has never worked for me , no clue why . I only rejoined because the price was too good to pass up. I have tried the nice approach, stole profile ideas from others and still I get looks and the only emails are guys I'm Not interested in or they ghost on me.
So I decided to be honest and write what I felt, even with what I put .. I'm getting again lots of likes, and winks. Clearly , at least in my case the guys aren't even reading my profile .
I will leave it as is for awhile, then might rewrite it . Then will stick to free sites, at least there I've actually gotten dates. 🙄
I do thank you for your opinion , nice to have a guy chime in. 😀

 Ok this is my edited version :
I'm 47 years old, a widow and mom of two teenage boys . Sometimes I will send a wink, but then I think it's up to the guy to email and really make the first move . If I've given you my phone number , I would actually like to meet , not text endlessly .
I would love to have someone to share my life with , confide in , fall in love with ,travel with . Nothing  beats that connection two people have , when sometimes you don't need to say a word and they make your soul melt. I was lucky to be in love and had a wonderful husband . Hopefully , I will find that again.  Sadly after reading some profiles and going out on dates , I realize why some men on here are still single. What am I looking for ? I won't date anyone old enough to be my dad or young enough to be my son . Married, still in love with your ex, or blame her for the breakup.. Move on .. So am I too blunt .. Maybe .. But I'm looking for a man , not a child that plays games .
What do I have to offer ? I'm always smiling. I realize life is short, so I have no time for petty arguments , or grudges. I love vacations, I believe it recharges the soul. I'm a whiz in the kitchen , but I also love to go out and try new places to eat . I love going to the gym , but I'm up for kayaking , walking , or doing a rugged maniac race. Curling up on the couch and watching a movie or going to see a band play . I'm a great mom , friend and person .
« Last Edit: August 06, 2016, 09:52:39 AM by Momtojandj »
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

Mrskro

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #700 on: August 06, 2016, 09:34:11 AM »
I am smartassy, so I think it's probably better to get it out there in the beginning of my profile.  :)

But I can see Portside's side of things.  Men and women do look at things a bit differently.  I can see how having the opposite sex help write a profile may help.

I will say you've all given me a kick in the pants to re-write mine.

tybec

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #701 on: August 06, 2016, 10:23:30 AM »
I by no means have any clout or real experience in the dating world or on line.  But I wrote a short bio in Christian Mingle, as that was important to me for the man to share my faith.  I am writing this from NG's home as we just got back from a night out to see the Googoo Dolls, but he had to get to a breakfast meeting.  He is the only guy I talked to on and off line, and so far, the stars have aligned for us.  5 months yesterday for first face to face meeting.  :)  This is a paraphrase of my writing.  I did get some attention.  I posted about 5 pictures and put dates on them, as ten year old pics are not honest. Boy I wish I looked like I did ten years ago!

"I have loved well and long, and life changed on a dime. I had to admit I had not put God first in my life and trusted Him.  So with time, here I am ready for Chapter 2.  I am a responsible, independent, serious and sometimes funny person who likes to try new things.  I love live music, traveling, experiences.  I have learned that experiences are far more valuable than anything, making memories.  I am searching for more JOY in my life independently but am ready to share with another.  I know what it is like to have a life long companion, and hope that is in my future. "

Then there were some demographics in there, and that was it. I put widowed.  It is who I am.  I contacted one guy just because his profile was so absurd,  and I was curious.  He was funny but almost manic.  He briefly talked to me, but he was not a dating choice for me or vice versa.  There were others that I sent a message and some contacted me, but this guy I am with now is great.  Good luck with the writings and searching.  I am enjoying this chapter.

arneal

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    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #702 on: August 06, 2016, 10:28:11 AM »
A different take on smartassy? Had a guy on OKCupid send me a message. I messaged back. He sends all this contact info (IM, email. phone# ...) and is pressing to know more about me. Minimal info on his profile, didn't give up much when I asked him, other than he's posted in Syria right now (go on and roll your eyes, I did). My reply? 'As I am not able to travel right now, I am looking for someone closer to me so we can meet. Best of luck with your search.' His reply? 'You could post a sign in front of your house saying you want to meet somone closer and then maybe you will' (paraphrase). Didn't you know I was far when you answered my message.' (yes, closed a question with a period lol)

So here we go -- maybe this is the site where I learn how to ghost. Nope. I answered: 'Yes, I saw you were far but answered because it would have been rude not to. Again, all the best in your search.'

Am supposed to get together with my local guy this weekend. Still looking forward to the day when I can delete these profiles lol!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

arneal

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    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #703 on: August 06, 2016, 10:29:31 AM »
Good for you Tybec! So happy for you as well and can't wait to tell such a great story :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

JoviGirl

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #704 on: August 06, 2016, 07:08:40 PM »
Like many of you here, I go on and off the online dating sites, hiding my profile for a while, and then reactivating when I feel alone and frustrated that I just don't seem to meet anyone in my every day soccer mom life.  Reactivated my OKC profile this morning,and already received this gem of a message LOL.
"I love your long legs, and can't wait to think of them tonight when I have a release."  Ugh.  Same old same old.