Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161717 times)

klim

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #765 on: August 18, 2016, 06:20:08 AM »
I'm not sure this was a good opening line  what do you think

"You have the prettiest nose I have seen in the longest time. What's your secret"

I just didn't know how to answer??!!??( plus I didn't want to)

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #766 on: August 18, 2016, 07:41:46 AM »
Oh boy klim! 
I've had the nose guy too! And my nose is not small and cute. I gave credit to my Greek parents!  😂

Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #767 on: August 21, 2016, 07:42:27 PM »
Second date today , really wanted to feel a spark, chemistry and nothing ....Sigh . I tried. Now to tell him .. :-(
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #768 on: August 21, 2016, 10:11:41 PM »
Sorry @momtojandj - always takes a little bit each time we try. Better to know sooner than later, right? I'm sure you'll find an honest way to let him know and wish him well.

I just had a man spend 3 days of phone conversations and texts telling me he is genuine and honest, sane and good, intelligent and spiritually curious, enamored with me, was enjoying getting to know me, looking forward to meeting in person, made and confirmed plans to see me today. Then today came and nothing - no call, no show, no text, no nothing.  Unreal. But he was still alive ... I saw that he clicked on my profile this morning. What? Why bother. What crazy game is that? If you can't make it or even if you want to bow out for any reason at all, just be a grown up, extend courtesy and respect to another human, and just say so. No worries. But this weird behavior, I really don't get it.

Please tell me - what is the magic question to ask to unearth the truth during the "getting to know each other" vetting process?  I don't think crazy/ill-intentioned people are going to say they are crazy and ill-intentioned straight out, right!? LOL ???  Is there some kind of badge or code word I'm supposed to be aware of?

And the cherry on top today - an 18 year old boy just messaged me with this high level line: "Wanna hook up and f**k?"  I asked him if that ever works with women my age and did his mother know what he was up doing tonight? Block.

Where are the legendary real men of which I hear tell?
  :o


Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #769 on: August 21, 2016, 10:27:42 PM »
Sunshine .. Ok the 18 year old.. Ugh! And the ghosting guy ? I don't get it .
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

klim

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #770 on: August 22, 2016, 06:41:48 AM »
yes what questions do you ask to get the ball rolling and get a feel for a person ,without it sounding like an interview....
two I  sometimes use are...1) pretend you have $20000 and you have to take a holiday in the next 2 weeks, where would you go and what would you do there?

and then i follow that with 2) ok switching it up a bit you have $20 and a full tank of gas ,how do you make a day of it?

Any other ideas?

sdarrah1130

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #771 on: August 22, 2016, 07:11:36 AM »
I met NG online.   We played "would you rather" as an ice breaker and to get to know each other.....
e.g. Would you rather steak or seafood, beer or wine, bike or swim. 

Once we got to know each other the would you rathers became quite interesting............
Sandy - E's Wife

"My Darlin, you are wonderful tonight......"

twin_mom

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #772 on: August 22, 2016, 05:23:11 PM »
I always asked the: you can vacation anywhere, where would you go? Because that has no "wrong" answer, but can tell you so much about a person...
Other things I asked (NG says I was pretty intense with my questioning but subtle which I deny, but I did hit it off with all the people I met in person, so maybe he's right?)
-worst job they ever had and why
-best thing about their job now
-best thing about their most recent ex/relationship- because let's face it, all relationships have something good at least in the beginning and if he can't say one positive thing about his ex then that's an issue
-worst present they ever received
-best present they ever gave

I think these types of get-to-know-yous can really tell you a lot about the person and if their priorities line up with yours.

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #773 on: August 23, 2016, 07:58:57 AM »
SunshineFL,

We gravitate to thinking the best of people and assume they are being honest and genuine. It's pretty sad when we have to start wondering about someone's motives if they seem too nice or too interested.

But we can't change who we are. We can't get jaded. The real deal is out there. It may take some time for them to find their way to us, but I trust that they will.

Is this too PolyAnna thinking? Maybe.

In the meantime, enjoy what comes, have fun, flirt, whatever.... Do what makes you smile. We all know, life is too short. 

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #774 on: August 23, 2016, 08:03:30 AM »
In terms of questions, I really don't have a routine or list I go through with new people.

I find it best to just be myself and go with the natural flow of the conversation and let them be themselves. If it flows naturally, it works for me.

If they are psycho, they will soon show their true colours! 😁
« Last Edit: August 23, 2016, 08:06:45 AM by momtokam »

Portside

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #775 on: August 23, 2016, 08:45:35 AM »
I also did not have any special list of questions to pose to a date. Honestly I disliked the make-believe scenario type questions from a date as they seemed to me to be a contrived method of just talking. They felt like they were lifted from a copy of Cosmo or something similar.

I've had a very interesting life - ask me about it. Likewise, I'll ask you about you.

There is always something to talk about. It can be as simple as "How was your day?" or "Did you do anything for yourself last weekend?". 

Good luck - Mike

The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #776 on: August 24, 2016, 12:30:35 PM »
Agreed, Portside. I think because I spend enough time asking interview-type questions for work, I wanted to avoid that on a date. In hindsight, the best thing I did was be me -- the me I am still becoming in this new life. I realized the other day a couple of things that make dating weird:

First, it dawned on me that I've not been single for about 25 years ... nearly half my life. When I got married the first time, there was no social networking and barely personal computers.

Second, in both instances, conversation was much more organic because we saw each other every day (first husband was a contractor at the college I attended and second husband and I worked in the same building). Questions like, 'Hey, how's it going?' weren't awkward.

Now that I am on the other side of both those experiences as a widow, I realized another couple of things:

I need to be me in all instances. I'm too old to be anyone else so I better like me. I better enjoy my own hobbies. I better know how to laugh at my own jokes (and at myself) before trying to allow someone else into my circle. I think I mentioned that I have dogs; I refer to myself as the pack leader and everyone who knows me also knows these two monsters are closer to me than my children. This is my real life so whoever connects with me should be willing to understand my quirks just as much as I try to understand theirs.

For me today, the organic nature of conversation and connection is the same, but different (groan - can't believe I wrote that  ;D). If I meet a new person and only see him once a week or so, I can't expect the level of connection to happen as quickly as it had in my past relationship(s) where I was seeing the person nearly every day. That was an epiphany for me ... NG and I have seen each other nearly every weekend for the past three months, but that would equate to two weeks' worth of conversation between my former husband and me.

When NG and I first met, I can't begin to tell you what we talked about! The phone conversation lasted more than an hour and the first time we met face-to-face, we talked for almost three hours. I think there was a level of compatibility there so we talked about family, where we were from, what brought us to this area, what sort of work we did. We still talk a lot about those general topics, which is also real life, right?

After that long-winded rabbit trail, my advice would be to be comfortable. If playing 20 questions works, go for it. But be sure to listen to what the other person is saying because it goes a long way if you show interest in what he or she says and can remember it later.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

klim

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #777 on: August 25, 2016, 09:25:04 AM »
Oh I agree on a date you just have to let the conversation flow...be yourself....

I was more talking about the text you send through the online dating site....the opening line as they say. To see if you want to converse on the phone or meet.

"I like you're profile, how was your weekend?"  .....only takes you so far.

Thanks for the ideas this or that sounds like a fun thing to use.

Mrskro

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #778 on: August 25, 2016, 09:32:35 AM »
Klim;

I'm right there with you.  My last few conversations have gone that way.
 Hey, how was your weekend/day/night/?     -  Great, I did x, what about you?   - Oh it was good thanks. -  and then "when can we meet?"

The last guy I asked, why would you want to meet?  We've exchanged a handful of meaningless messages.  You haven't even attempted to engage in a conversation. 

I'm thinking I'm doing this online thing wrong, but I have no desire to get ready and go meet someone that can't be bothered to actually try and converse first.  I don't have a lot of free time to just go meet someone that I may have nothing in common with. 

Is it normal for guys (and I'm sure the guys can say the same about women) to rush right too it?


arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #779 on: August 25, 2016, 11:04:29 AM »
MrsKro -- I think it depends. There are the creeps who say all sorts of things and then there's, for lack of a better way of putting it, chemistry of some sort. NG and I chatted online for about 15 minutes and I suggested we meet up for lunch because the chats were flowing. That was the first time we 'met' via the online site. We exchanged phone numbers, he called, and we talked and made actual plans. So far, it's going well and we're about three months in since that first face to face meeting that we scheduled for two or three days after the online chat and initial phone contact. I don't know how typical that is. However, the first guy I chatted with online and exchanged numbers with was one of those creeps. We had even talked about meeting, which would have meant I was going to travel. So glad I wasn't able to really consider it!

I think the online chat or text thing is fine but I need to hear a voice. Can we make conversation? What's it like? It will be awkward because we don't know each other, but what do we make of it and do we both feel like a face to face will be cool?

Be your most authentic self. Sure, look good and smell good, but don't go out of your way to be something you aren't. If bubbly isn't your style, don't try it. You'll be able to pick up on whether he is putting on airs for you too :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b