Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 146551 times)

RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #780 on: August 25, 2016, 02:19:47 PM »
Is it normal for guys (and I'm sure the guys can say the same about women) to rush right too it?

I prefer to get the full experience in person.  I figure I can know some details about a woman from the profile, and so I have an idea whether meeting would likely be interesting or not, and my preference is to just make that happen without too many days of messaging.  I don't have to worry about filtering out creepers, I have only had a couple of women turn out to be so bad I wished I hadn't taken the time.  Your mileage varies, of course.  I am happy to message for awhile before meeting, and happy to get on the phone before meeting as well.  There's a countervailing risk that the person will chat your leg off and waste time without ever intending to meet.  I have had that happen, and won't stay in orbit for that long if I see it heading that way.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

SemperFidelis

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #781 on: August 25, 2016, 08:06:15 PM »
Interesting to hear different perspectives on questioning, and how soon to meet.

I didn't ever understand the introductory message of "how's it going?" or "how was your weekend?" call me crazy but I find those to be sort of personal questions, because we have no clue what's going on in each other's personal lives.....and especially being a widow there's just a lot of stuff not ideal for first date discussion.....and I'm not one for pat empty exchanges. That's just me. I would rather share those kind of casual exchanges once mutual and genuine care and interest has been established. Then it feels more meaningful.

I like to get the nitty gritty of someone's life....I ask lots and lots of questions(but not hypothetical imaginary stuff.....more like questions about family relations, values, life experiences)so I can construct an image of who this person is. And I will repeat questions later down the road to check for consistency.

Ch2 and I waited two weeks to meet....which was a bit long for both of us but it's what our schedules permitted. We got a lot of texting in, in the meantime. Not into the phone conversation thing...... I don't have a good auditory memory so I really rely on a combination of clear words(text) and on nonverbal body language..... Having the visual feedback helps me remember what someone says too.......and HOW they said it.




Captains wife

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #782 on: August 29, 2016, 06:50:02 AM »
Ok - this is a new one. Texted with a man on Match for a bit. He was a fair bit outside my age range but he seemed a gentleman and from his profile we seemed to have a bit in common. So then silence - which is fine as there are plenty of fish in the sea. But then just heard from him again and his text goes something like- Hi, know I haven't been in touch but was thinking about things and have some concerns about you living an hour south of the city. So - why don't you convince me why I should date you given the distance ? 😳 Oh boy- next !

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #783 on: August 29, 2016, 07:16:57 AM »
Ok - this is a new one. Texted with a man on Match for a bit. He was a fair bit outside my age range but he seemed a gentleman and from his profile we seemed to have a bit in common. So then silence - which is fine as there are plenty of fish in the sea. But then just heard from him again and his text goes something like- Hi, know I haven't been in touch but was thinking about things and have some concerns about you living an hour south of the city. So - why don't you convince me why I should date you given the distance ? 😳 Oh boy- next !

Thank you so much for contacting me again after your quiet spell. I so appreciate it as you have now CONVINCED me why I should NOT date you!

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #784 on: August 29, 2016, 08:11:15 AM »
Here is one from last month...

Him- Has it been a while

Me- Seriously? Not long enough!

Him- Dam your lucky (his spelling)

Him- You do have nice legs

I really need a face palm emoji! 



arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #785 on: August 29, 2016, 11:50:35 AM »
I am over here cracking up about the face palm emoji! So, help me understand why people think such statements as 'convince me' and 'you do have nice legs' after writing something weird is going to make the reader swoon?! I am very confused.  :o
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #786 on: August 29, 2016, 03:22:54 PM »
"....So - why don't you convince me why I should date you given the distance ? - Oh boy, next!"

Ohmygoodness @captainswife...seriously?

Loved @momtokam's reply suggestion.
Face palm emoji, for sure! LOL ;)

Here is one that just happened this morning.
I clicked on this one man's profile last night and received this note from him this morning (remember, I have a baseball narrative woven through this recent profile of mine):

"you just hit a foul ball because you didnt send me a messasge...lol here's your next pitch....what are you going to do with it...lol" - and gave me his phone number directing me to call him.

I clicked away from his profile last night because it was filled with contradictory messages and I couldn't quite tell if he was there for the hook-up or for a monogamous relationship. There were sexual requirements listed together with sentences that said he was looking for "true love."

But then I was stopped short when I read the next sentence:  “...oh and I'm not attracted to BBW's or "very" over weight women..I prefer thin, athletic built women but if you think you have curves in the right places, I will take a look.

I totally get that we all have our preferences (he was a man of some size himself), and have a sense of attraction at a chemical and visual level, what does it for some and what doesn’t for others, and I don't judge, but I was so stunned when I thought of all the women reading that - - any woman who has any grain of self-esteem and self-respect is never going to (should never) send photos of herself to anyone so her body can be judged by anyone to determine if her “curves are in the right places.” Seriously?  >:( That is just so offensive and demeaning to all women. That is where he lost me.

So I wrote back:
"I think I’m going to call it “hit by a pitch” and take my base – and with bases loaded, bottom of the ninth - thereby breaking the tie and winning the game. Maybe next season."

Moving forward.
Here's hoping the madness stops soon and only the good people step forward on our paths.

BTW, if anyone is in need of some laughs and for some clicking around online about dating, etc, I stumbled upon a lot of fun content and videos here:  http://www.nerve.com/dating-2
Really funny stuff - funny because darkly true! Ugh  ;D LOL

Have a great day ahead, friends.


SemperFidelis

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #787 on: August 29, 2016, 05:11:21 PM »
Sunshine.....good grief.

That's all I can say for now, lol

fairlanegirl

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #788 on: August 29, 2016, 07:52:16 PM »

But then I was stopped short when I read the next sentence:  “...oh and I'm not attracted to BBW's or "very" over weight women..I prefer thin, athletic built women but if you think you have curves in the right places, I will take a look.

I totally get that we all have our preferences (he was a man of some size himself), and have a sense of attraction at a chemical and visual level, what does it for some and what doesn’t for others, and I don't judge, but I was so stunned when I thought of all the women reading that - - any woman who has any grain of self-esteem and self-respect is never going to (should never) send photos of herself to anyone so her body can be judged by anyone to determine if her “curves are in the right places.” Seriously?  >:( That is just so offensive and demeaning to all women. That is where he lost me.

[/quote]
So he's basically a fat bloke supremely confident that hordes of thin, athletic women are going to find him irresistible. Good luck with that, mate. Buwahahaha. At least he's honest, in an odd, dodging-a-bullet sort of way. Something tells me not many larger women are going to state a preference for a thin, athletic guy and demand to check out bits of his anatomy though...

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #789 on: August 29, 2016, 08:57:15 PM »
Oh boy SunshineFL.....Don't hog this guy all for yourself now!


arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #790 on: August 30, 2016, 10:29:29 AM »
fairlane -- you are spot on with that assessment!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Needytoo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #791 on: September 01, 2016, 04:32:09 PM »
I have been lurking for awhile.  Right now because of some other issues I am facing I decided to take down my online dating profiles.  I might try speed dating, next event is Oct. 1. 

Hope someone is having success with it.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #792 on: September 01, 2016, 07:55:53 PM »
Hope you are okay, Needy. I understand -- after my experience with the creep back in the spring, I put a halt to my online dating adventures. Be well! Hope you'll come back with good vibes from the speed dating event!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #793 on: September 02, 2016, 08:04:26 AM »
I have been lurking for awhile.  Right now because of some other issues I am facing I decided to take down my online dating profiles.  I might try speed dating, next event is Oct. 1. 

Hope someone is having success with it.

I hope everything is OK Needytoo. Sending you hugs.

I have always wanted to try speed dating but never did. The one time I was booked to go, I ended up cancelling when someone I had just met felt threatened. Yes, that was a stupid move and my first sign that he was psycho!

Enjoy it and let is know how it goes! 

Needytoo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #794 on: September 03, 2016, 02:49:56 PM »
Hi Arneal and momtokam.  Going through some renovation nightmares, jerk I hired did a shit show of a job and everything has to be redone.  Taken me two weeks to get a lawyer and I meet with her next week.  In the mean time I hope we don't get a good rain fall or my basement might get flooded.

So needless to say I am having a bit of a trust issue.

 I did before all of this mess did update my profile and made it less girly hippie and did get more responses.  One guy did seem promising then I mentioned my weeping tile issue and he said he has his own issues and actually told me to F off. That is when I took down my profile. 

I haven't slept a whole night since this all started and started online therapy again.  This therapist thinks I am so resilient, haha got him fooled. Got some more sleeping pills from the doctor and slept well last night. Sleep does a body good, doesn't it.