Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 144827 times)

imissdow

  • Member
  • Posts: 234
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #930 on: November 10, 2016, 04:54:16 AM »
So on a whim this week I got on OK Cupid. I'm surprised I remembered my password I haven't been on for almost a year, and that was only briefly. So I updated my profile that was at least 3 years old. Started e-mailing a guy, seemed very nice. Said something about meeting him and come to the realization I have no time. The only nights of the week I am ever free are Saturday and Sunday evenings. Typically if there's nothing planned (about50% of the time) I go out with my DDs or run errands and do chores. So actually I'm to busy to date.  I filled up my schedule so I could make new friends and cope with being single. Yet, if I want to date I need to free up some time. Thus also meaning I will probally be home more often. How does one handle this. At the moment I'm committed to all this stuff for the rest of the school year. I could get out of 2 things but that would succeed in freeing up 1 evening , I really enjoy all of it so it's not like I want out of any of it.  Guess to be fair I need to not get online.

tybec

  • Member
  • Posts: 260
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #931 on: November 10, 2016, 07:34:46 AM »
Imissdow,

I think you should chat with some possible prospects. If someone is interesting, you find a way in your schedule which are weekend nights.  If something happens, you will change schedule.  If not, you are doing things you enjoy.  Win/win.   ;D

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 646
    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #932 on: November 10, 2016, 12:00:00 PM »
imissdow - you popped in there for a reason :) Chances are, you are curious about what dating might offer you in addition to what you're doing. Filling time is very different than spending time. Many folks on those sites are busy in one way or another. As tybec said, chat up a few people. A person who has no hobbies or activities becomes needy, quick, and that's a turn-off. We prioritize what we want; having a full schedule is great because if you meet someone who isn't worth your time, you have plenty of reasons not to see them again  ;D
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Needytoo

  • Member
  • Posts: 393
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #933 on: November 11, 2016, 05:47:35 AM »
I totally understand where you are coming from imissdow.  I had a jam packed schedule and when these guys ask me out, usually with very short warning I had to say no.  Most of them ghosted soon after that.  I can see their point who would want to date someone that is always busy.  Due to a change with relationship status with some friends I now seem to have more free time on my hands, but now I can't seem to land even a request for coffee.  It is good to have alone time but mine is starting to get a little too much.  I have joined some committees at work but still it not filling my time.  Really trying to decide what my next step should be. Should I volunteer, join a social club, try a matchmaker etc. I don't want to get back to where I was insanely busy either.  Not sure why life balancing is so hard. 

trying2breathe

  • Member
  • Posts: 370
  • Widowed August 2013
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #934 on: November 11, 2016, 07:55:31 AM »
imissdow   I get it too, not much time to spare when a date comes up.  And it's a balancing act to decide whether it's worth it to cancel plans, or go with the date.   I'm just getting into this game again, and surprised that so far have had very little notice when asked out.  Makes it even more difficult to try to get together. 
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

momtokam

  • Member
  • Posts: 554
  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #935 on: November 12, 2016, 08:57:50 AM »
"If you want to meet me down here we can hang out at my place I can meet you I can come out and get you so you feel safe."

Thank you....What a perfect way to make me feel safe for a very first meeting. 😕

momtokam

  • Member
  • Posts: 554
  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #936 on: November 12, 2016, 09:01:42 AM »
Imissdow,

I believe for the right person, we can figure out how to make the time. It's the steps leading up to that point that can be the hardest.

Why can't Mr Right just land at my door step already?  Is that too much to ask? 😁
« Last Edit: November 12, 2016, 09:03:17 AM by momtokam »

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 646
    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #937 on: November 12, 2016, 11:12:21 AM »
With the holidays coming it might be  bit easier in that many have a day or two when work is closed. That's how NG and I had our first meet up. It was about half way between our homes on Memorial Day Monday. Something to consider, friends!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

First Widow

  • Member
  • Posts: 50
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #938 on: November 12, 2016, 04:41:20 PM »
"If you want to meet me down here we can hang out at my place I can meet you I can come out and get you so you feel safe."

Thank you....What a perfect way to make me feel safe for a very first meeting. 😕

Oh my, momtokam! LOL

I'm having a hard time believing anything anyone says to on these sites so this may not work out for me.  I finally replied to one guy and in the next message he's asking for my phone number and telling me he is available during the day.  ::)  Isn't that code for I'm actually married and don't want my wife to find out?   
"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."

arneal

  • Member
  • Posts: 646
    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #939 on: November 12, 2016, 04:49:54 PM »
First - might he work at night? Hoping 😉
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

RobFTC

  • Member
  • Posts: 455
  • Lost Michelle to ovarian cancer 2010/11/07
    • Celtic Journeys radio show
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #940 on: November 12, 2016, 11:09:43 PM »
I finally replied to one guy and in the next message he's asking for my phone number and telling me he is available during the day.  ::)  Isn't that code for I'm actually married and don't want my wife to find out?

Could be, but this work-from-home tech guy finds it nice to break out of my work day to meet someone, and the solo parent likes that it can't effect time with my daughters.  It might be nice to see if you get a corroborating clue before deciding.  Of course, they are supposed to know I'm widowed.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

momtokam

  • Member
  • Posts: 554
  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #941 on: November 13, 2016, 08:35:31 AM »
So.....I decided to try POF after shutting down my previous profile on OKC. I went out with a friend last night and he mentioned it.

I tried a short profile, just to see what would happen. It leads with....

"This should be interesting!
I have been told that this site leads to actual relationships. I am not convinced! Care to prove me wrong?

I love to laugh and banter....It feeds my soul! Are you up for the challenge?"

And this is what I get.....

"As a Teacher you would have a basic understanding of psych - to have a negative as your preamble and indicate a reverse onus that someone else here prove otherwise... would that attract the man with qualities in which you seek... one of which being intelligent...? Something to consider... all the best..."

And this was my reply....

"I see you have not taken my preamble in the lighthearted, humourous, and flirty nature that it was intended.
You can't please everyone.
Pointing out someone's "flaws", which you have done before to me, on other sites, is not a way to attract the woman with qualities in which you seek...
Good luck in your search."

Sigh....
 
« Last Edit: November 13, 2016, 06:05:48 PM by momtokam »

First Widow

  • Member
  • Posts: 50
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #942 on: November 13, 2016, 10:40:18 AM »
Someone here mentioned POF last week and it's the site I've had the most luck with in my area, but I have also attracted my share guys who want to tell me what I'm doing wrong.  LOL  It makes it easy to weed out the messages...I just block anyone with that attitude.
"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."

klim

  • Member
  • Posts: 422
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #943 on: November 13, 2016, 11:33:17 AM »
So nice of them to critique your profile for you.... not!

.Yeah I occasionally read a profile that is so extreme and I have an opinion but I just think wow and move on.

When I first went on line I did have quite a lengthy and detailed back and forth with one guy that although he didn't critique my profile started laying in to me about how I was responding during our texting conversation. It became amazingly heated....after that I realized  I was wasting too much emotional energy defending my responses.I now walk away from those who judge, without knowing.

<a data-flickr-embed="true"  href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/76752159@N08/35633945020/in/dateposted-public/" title="68887863-ed45-49be-8091-d063d8095c3a_zps0693c059"><img src="https://farm5.staticflickr.com/4308/35633945020_f20f4231a2.jpg" width="300" height="225" alt="68887863-ed45-49be-8091-d063d8095c3a_zps0693c059"></a><script async src="//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

trying2breathe

  • Member
  • Posts: 370
  • Widowed August 2013
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #944 on: November 13, 2016, 01:29:33 PM »
momtokam   The new profile is cute, a refreshing change from the ordinary I think.  What an a** to critique it - loved your response! 
Have I told you lately how much I love you?