On line dating vents and laughs......

[trying2breathe]

momtokam    Indeed, sigh .... what's he thinking?  I don't know that I would have been able to be as polite. 

[First Widow]

Oh goodness Momtokam!  I don't think I would have been as polite either, although I would appreciate the major heads up.

[klim]

ok I'm an extrovert, I can talk easily with all sorts of people. I'm relaxed in conversation and can talk with  a ditch digger, a doctor ,a new immigrant  or a car salesmen with equal ease.

So when I go out for meet and greets I have a hard time judging how things went because I enjoy the art of conversation. If they can converse then I had a good time.....but it doesn't necessarily mean I think they are boyfriend material.

Last night I was on a meet and greet that went past the meet and greet stage and turned into dinner. we  conversed for 4 hrs,  it was a nice night out.....             

He's already said we should go out again. I'm sure I'd have another pleasant evening....but I can't figure out whether it could grow into more.... am I supposed to be able to tell?....do you go with the flow and see???

[Virgo]

Klim, I would just go with the flow and see where it goes. If  you enjoyed his company why not go out again?

[momtokam]

I am very much like you klim.
I can talk to anyone and it can get longer than expected without realizing, very easily sometimes. I take that as a positive. That is one hurdle you have jumped. You two can commicate well together.

If it was a fun night, go out again. See if you get any more indications that he could become boyfriend material. I try to give it a second go if the first meet was pleasant but no sparks flew right away. Sometimes sparks flew the second time and sometimes not. You can then decide.

It's hard to know sometimes and more time may be needed.  It really depends on the people and personalities involved.

Good luck.

[arneal]

Was this a first meeting? That's a bit quick to get into the boyfriend frame of mind. The thing is, it's easy to start feeling for someone and getting caught up in those feelings can lead to heartbreak if that person doesn't feel the same way. Take it easy, as best you can. I agree that good conversation is a fabulous start. The fact that he wants to see you again is absolutely a bonus. The deal is to take it one date at a time and see what happens.

My first online dating thing was weird because I started having feelings for someone I didn't know at all. I was caught up in the moment and he was fraud. I made sure when I met NG that I kept myself in check. We've been together for about six months now and it's all good. 

[imissdow]

Klim: I had a second date with a really nice guy on Friday a week ago. I heard from him on Monday, a text message or 2 on Tuesday and Thursday and then nothing. Not sure if I should be moving on or thinking I will hear from him.  2 dates hardly make a relationship. Yet here I sit wondering if I've been kicked to the curb.
Typically guys go way faster then I'm comfortable with and are way to attentive. Yet I find myself not liking this either. Oh to find a guy I click with and have enough contact to make me feel comfortable with. Maybe I'm asking for to much. 

[klim]

 thanks for an input
Oh I don't jump to boyfriend mode ...I am very very slow on the connection factor

What I worry about( a bit) is whether  I mislead guys because I can have a pleasant conversation with people I don't even like.

Imisswidow...at this point just to nudge I would send a blank text...see if that jumps starts any response......or if you're brave you just send the text....hey what's up?

[nonesuch]

Sometimes the meet and greet was enough, and we'd shake hands and one or the other of us would say, "Nice meeting you, but I don't think we have enough in common."

Sometimes if he asked me out again, I'd say it then. 

I had a three date rule:  If I didn't feel some kind of connection or appeal by the third meeting, I would turn down another date.  Sometimes I didn't have to: sometimes HE didn't call again.

I had about 31 meet and greets, few second dates, third dates I could count on one hand.

[arneal]

Thanks for explaining a bit more, klim -- as someone who is not the best conversationalist straight away, I admire those who are at ease like it sounds you are!

[klim]

ok had a doozie tonight.... yesterday I was talking to a fellow on POF...figured out he went to the same university and was in the same program I was in. Of course there were 300 people in the program so not surprising we didn't really know of each other , but I did have an old picture from the graduating class photos and found his name so could see who he was.

today he gives me his phone number so i text him. half an hour later he gives me a call. it starts off pretty normal but he seems really hyped up.....I'm intrigued but almost in a he is really bizarre way.....but an intelligent bizarre way....so I keep on talking. At some point I beginning to suspect that he is just looped . either drunk or high. He asks me a rather suggestive question and I snap a one word answer at him and then.........i think he passed out.
Half an hour later he phones...I'm not answering  he texts "why are you mad at me?".....phoned 2 more times after that. ......

one of those people that I'm glad showed there true colours early.....jeez what a nutcase.

[arneal]

Wow, klim! Yes, thankfully you were able to sleuth out who he was and that there were some issues at work there. So sorry

[imissdow]

Someone on here once said when people fly their "freak flag "believe them. I want to say it was robtc ? That phase has stuck with me and really helped me not try to rationalize away so pretty weird/different behavior that I couldn't  deal with.  I'm also a person who believes we all have our own " freak show" behavior. I work in a male dominated job so I've been told that makes me odd.  So it's really about finding what works for you.

[Virgo]

"When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. " Maya Angelou

That's hard advice to follow. Actions speak louder than words yet we fall for their words first. I'm currently living this. NG said all the right things but his actions were the opposite. Nice guy, poor timing, and emotionally unavailable. I'm moving on.

Since I stopped communicating with him four men have contacted me. Three on Facebook, which I think is funny. It's almost like a dating site. The fourth is a man who I dated from January to August, off and on fwb. I think he's wanting more. We have a lot in common, have a great time together, but I can't picture us long term. #1 and #2, not interested. #3 I agreed to get together with soon.

[arneal]

Great point, Jen -- and hope things go well with #3!