Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161323 times)

SemperFidelis

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1125 on: January 27, 2017, 01:03:09 AM »
Well it's past my bedtime so I will keep this short. NG2 and I have been seeing each other for 3.5weeks now after meeting off Match. Folks, I am so excited. Like genuinely "holy shit I found the glass fucking slipper". That kinda thing. More than ever I know it can fall apart in the blink of an eye and I know shit can flip and he could be Looney. But for now I'm getting excited.... Could not really do that with NG1.  Ng2 actually is reminding me a bit of LH.....in all the right ways. I feel at home with him......and he feels at home with me.

First Widow

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1126 on: January 27, 2017, 06:09:32 AM »
Good luck with NG2 Semper!

I finally got beyond the window shopping phase and put a pic on my profile the other night and it's been entertaining at least.  Thanks to whoever mentioned Google image searching because the one guy I did find relatively attractive turned out to be a scamner or a serial online dater because his result came up as scam artist and all he had were bimbos for FB friends. LOL  Chatted with another guy last night but he wished me luck when he realized I was an hour away.  Will keep at it, if for nothing else than to get more material for the book we're publishing.  8) 
"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."

SunshineFL

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1127 on: January 27, 2017, 07:50:18 AM »
Hi, friends,

I haven’t had anything to add to the online dating laughs or vents here lately as I mentioned I took a detox from the online madness several months ago – most of the end of last year, actually.

I needed to get clear with not only who I am, but also what I envisioned/needed/wanted in a new relationship, what qualities and values I most desired in the man in my (and my kids’) life, what I was able to offer, what core needs of mine needed to be seen, honored and met, and how I could show up as my best self for him, too.  I wanted to be able to recognize “him” when he introduced himself to me. Reading, writing and time all helped me gain clarity.  In the process, I shed some more healing layers and grew even more, I can say in hindsight now.

Even though I wish I didn’t have some of the past experiences I have had, I am honestly grateful for all that I have learned from the process over these seven years on my post-widowed journey so far.  Really helps me recognize and appreciate today.  I’m “all in” on that book deal, by the way!

I like and agree with @klim ’s earlier post:

“I don't know I think it’s just the inorganic nature of it......it takes time to form an opinion.
In the past generally you got to know someone peripherally and then if they intrigued you then you try to become more engaged with them....that warm up period is missing in online dating.”


I have always said to friends – and you’ve heard/read me say this on this thread – that I never enjoyed the online way of meeting and all the liars, scammers and insecure men that crossed my path, that I really wanted a kind, good and true gentleman to introduce himself to me directly and organically in real life, to show up honestly and with good intentions (and with more dream wishes on that list, of course!).  And that is exactly what happened.  We really “get” each other. We communicate about everything honestly. He has been so clear with me – I’ve never had to guess at his intentions, thoughts or feelings.  He is humble, handsome, kind, attentive, thoughtful, a caring dad and so smart and I love sensing what he is feeling about me reflected back when he looks at me – which always triggers a big smile.  ;)  We use words like smitten, swoon and sweetheart and it feels like teenagers again – but way better, because we both know the precious gift of every day and appreciate all that we are getting to explore and enjoy and be with each other.

We met at a widow/widower Meetup group dinner in November – a social group dinner, not a dating site, just making new friendships and doing fun things about town with new people who have also been widowed.  Really nice group and have made some new female friends there already as well.

He messaged me a few weeks later on Christmas Eve/First night of Hanukkah that he had enjoyed meeting me and would I welcome talking on the phone or going out to lunch and getting to know each other better. I replied on Christmas Day that I’d welcome that. We’ve been talking and connecting and getting closer and closer ever since. 

I always say – you never know what a day is going to bring.
Also true – you never know what a short month of time is going to bring to shift your life completely.
Today.
Happy.

You know I’m rooting for all of us here to find the happiness and loving connections we so deserve.  Like all of my other posts here over these few years, if I can help another in any positive and hopeful way (as so many others so generously have helped me with their written words shared), I’m grateful.

 ;)  Oh, and shout-out to @momtokam’s inside joke … he is pretty darn close to a widower off-shore pipeline engineer (and he laughed when I told him that)!



trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1128 on: January 27, 2017, 04:00:05 PM »
I don't know I think its just the inorganic nature of it......it takes time to form an opinion.
 
I'd like to think that I can get to know him better - I shouldn't base my opinion on whether to meet him in person, on a less than inspiring phone call. It's hard to get intrigued when all he talked about are his dogs.          ho hum -

As for a matchmaker - I treated myself for my birthday.  The interviewer analyzed my situation, brought out the price list and I paid more than I probably should have.  Matchmaking vs. on-line dating is similar in that clients go through on-line profiles and decide whether they'd like to meet somebody or not. The match then decides whether or not to follow through and meet.  What I see that is different about a service vs. on-line is that with this matchmaker, everybody is background checked, vetted and deemed to be interested in dating.  I do feel a sense of security with the guys that I have met, so far.  Next week I'll attend a singles trivia party at a fondue restaurant, sounds like fun.  So far I've had more success at the events, rather than choosing on-line matches.  Inorganic vs. organic - I get it. 
« Last Edit: January 27, 2017, 04:19:35 PM by trying2breathe »
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1129 on: January 27, 2017, 05:00:39 PM »
SunshineFL, you are one lucky lady but....
He is one luckier fella! 💓

Pipeline engingeer and all! 😁

Needytoo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1130 on: January 27, 2017, 06:36:35 PM »
I am so happy for everyone that has found a relationship.

I agree with Kilm, there is something inorganic about this online dating thing. 

I changed my profile, and main photo and bunch of guys check out my profile again, and I got two responses.  One of the pictures is of me with my sons, and we are wearing our sunglasses.  My boys are body builders, and they have the popeye arms.  One guy made a comment.  Read his profile, and he seemed interesting.  I asked if he had kids and what does he like to do with his free time.  His reply was "I have no kids, and I mind my own business."  Wow, buddy. 

Got another message from a "widower" that contacts me ever time I change my picture.  Not sure if he is an engineer?

I really like the idea of a matchmaker. I heard somewhere the local one here fee is $800.  We do have speed dating events too.  Or maybe I should try Match again.  Decisions, decisions.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1131 on: January 27, 2017, 09:57:26 PM »
RyanAmysMom -- Noooooo!  :o
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

SemperFidelis

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1132 on: January 29, 2017, 12:47:47 AM »
Sunshine, big congrats. I love to hear what a beautiful thing you are experiencing.

I think probably most of us met our late spouses organically instead of online....so I think most of us can relate to that feeling. I will never forget the process of spying my husband early on and getting so excited at each juncture to get closer and closer to him. Its just a different way of getting to know someone compared to online. You get to enjoy some mystery in the beginning. So cool. So enjoy it for the rest of us out here doing the online thing ;-)

Virgo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1133 on: February 02, 2017, 04:18:56 PM »
I'm not online dating, but most of my dates contact me through Facebook. Probably poor timing for the two I'm talking to. Bachelor #1 separated from his wife in October. It was just finalized a few weeks ago. Bachelor #2 recently ended an 8 month relationship. I enjoy talking to both. I have been out with Bachelor #1 a few times. That's my update. We'll see.  :)
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

momof2obs

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1134 on: February 02, 2017, 05:23:23 PM »
I'm not online dating, but most of my dates contact me through Facebook. Probably poor timing for the two I'm talking to. Bachelor #1 separated from his wife in October. It was just finalized a few weeks ago. Bachelor #2 recently ended an 8 month relationship. I enjoy talking to both. I have been out with Bachelor #1 a few times. That's my update. We'll see.  :)

Gee, the only thing I got from Facebook was a bunch of phony friend requests once it went out that I was newly widowed!

I wish you well!

wecouldbeheros

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1135 on: February 02, 2017, 07:09:30 PM »
It's strange how friend requests are linked to people on dating sites. Never liked the "oh I heard you were widowed" lines. Like I came into a huge amount of money. Take away the debt, not as pretty as I thought.

Virgo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1136 on: February 02, 2017, 07:39:57 PM »
I'm not online dating, but most of my dates contact me through Facebook. Probably poor timing for the two I'm talking to. Bachelor #1 separated from his wife in October. It was just finalized a few weeks ago. Bachelor #2 recently ended an 8 month relationship. I enjoy talking to both. I have been out with Bachelor #1 a few times. That's my update. We'll see.  :)

Gee, the only thing I got from Facebook was a bunch of phony friend requests once it went out that I was newly widowed!

I wish you well!

Thank you! Mine are all friends, or friends with mutual friends.  Bachelor #1 is a LEO in my city, and Bachelor #2 was an LEO that worked for the same PD as my LH. Most of the men who contact me are policemen, firemen, dispatchers, or high school classmates.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Virgo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1137 on: February 02, 2017, 07:42:00 PM »
It's strange how friend requests are linked to people on dating sites. Never liked the "oh I heard you were widowed" lines. Like I came into a huge amount of money. Take away the debt, not as pretty as I thought.

I have received friend requests from widowers, but I never accept them.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1138 on: February 02, 2017, 08:51:11 PM »
So , I have had a guy that I went out with on a drink meet and greet , 2 years ago ..send me a message on match, and acted like he didn't know me. Then I have an Instagram friend  request from a guy I exchanged cell numbers with, to have him just start flaking so I never went out to meet him.
Then there's a guy I chatted with online the other night, on a free site that said he's rich and a lawyer . Um ok ..
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

klim

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1139 on: February 02, 2017, 10:08:26 PM »
Announcing that you're a rich lawyer make the person a little pretentious  and maybe a little unbelievable but I still believe that rich( well at least well off) people will use  the free sites. I know a couple of rich people in real life, that use POF.......but I've also talked to some that I definitely felt were scammers and they all seemed to be claiming the well off status