Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161356 times)

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1185 on: April 04, 2017, 07:24:02 PM »
Ah. Got it. He said he would call and didn't. See what happens. Maybe there was something pressing. If he doesn't reach out by the weekend, meh, move on. If you hear from him after, remind him he said he would call and add maybe that you figured his schedule changed. You have things to do -- let him chase you a little ;)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1186 on: April 04, 2017, 07:50:03 PM »
Momtojandj, I may go against the norm here.

He did put it out there that you could call him too. Lots of things can come up and he could have gotten busy or distracted. I see nothing wrong with you reaching out this once, just to show him you have some interest.

It's not like you don't know who he is, if he's a scammer, yada yada, or all the other things on line can bring on.

Sometimes guys need a little budge.

An example is Mr Bumble.
We matched and chatted a bit there. Exchanged numbers and talked. He went quiet for a few days and then I texted to say a quick hi, how is your day. That led to him asking for a meet date. That went well. I texted to say I had a nice time and we exchanged some laughs. At that point I left it in his court. It took a couple days but he came back and asked me to lunch later this week.

I do understand the whole let the guy chase you but I also feel that there is nothing wrong with showing some interest back.

Take this as you see, if it works for you. I am definitely no expert here!
« Last Edit: April 13, 2017, 07:13:18 PM by momtokam »

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1187 on: April 04, 2017, 07:52:30 PM »
Agreed momto - that's what I as trying to get at :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1188 on: April 04, 2017, 08:23:03 PM »
Ok, took both your advice and sent a quick text , he had told me about a date he went on and the girl had black lip liner and no lipstick ... So I sent a text and said .. I went and bought some black lip liner .. we shall see now ... thanks
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1189 on: April 05, 2017, 11:05:30 PM »
Any news Momtojandj?

I have lunch tomorrow with Mr Bumble. 😁

And maybe a mid morning date with Mr Tinder.  😮

You just have to laugh at all this on line craziness!
I've never had dates with 2 men on one day! Goodness!
« Last Edit: April 28, 2017, 03:57:15 PM by momtokam »

Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1190 on: April 06, 2017, 08:55:20 AM »
Momtokam

Good for you ! Report back on your dates !
I have a date with him tonight at 5. We have been chatting on the phone, so far so good. So we will see tonight :-)
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1191 on: April 06, 2017, 11:45:30 AM »
Yay, momtokam! Hope you have a great time!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1192 on: April 06, 2017, 05:29:30 PM »
Yay momtojandj!
I guess your reaching out got his attention!
I hope you are having a good time. 😊

So, the one who has a hard time getting to the meet stage had 2 dates today!  My goodness! Never would have believed I could do that.

Both were second dates with both men.

Breakfast with Mr Tinder was good. So much chemistry but we are just so different, past and present! I told him about my hesitations. He is still persuing me. He likes me a lot. We are both looking for more so I just have a hard time seeing this as a future.

Lunch with Mr Bumble was also very nice. Complete gentleman,  paid the bill without hesitation. I just can't get a read on his interest level. Saying goodbye does not lead to a request to see me again, just a friendly hug. I text to thank him afterwards and say I enjoyed myself. I get a nice likewise type message back.
He is not texting in between to chat or call. It was like that after date 1 but then 2 days later came the request to take me to lunch.

I wonder if he is like my minimal texter from way back, who still pings me with "Hey theres" every so often.

I wish dating was easier! I'm too old for this!

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1193 on: April 06, 2017, 05:40:37 PM »
momtokam -- some men are not big on the text thing. It sounds like Bumble is a bit of an introvert. My NG is like that; rarely texts in between meet-ups. And I am very much an introvert, so I get that :)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1194 on: April 06, 2017, 09:55:15 PM »
Ok.. my report .. dinner , and he paid when I went to the bathroom. Wasn't sure if he liked me during dinner, until he asked if I wanted to go for a walk . Yes please :-) . Walked and then sat in my car and talked for hours it seemed . He mentioned when he has interest , he doesn't keep looking and focuses on that one person. And  if it's ok , he would like to do that . I said I'm on board . I'm not a fan of multi dating .
Left with a hug , was bummed no kiss. However received a text that said , he felt awkward and got shy so just hugged me . Ok then ... overall good date , def want to go out again . Yay !
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1195 on: April 06, 2017, 10:44:27 PM »
Yay, momto! I can tell you it was a couple of months before NG and I kissed. But I think we both were thinking about it :)You'll get there, God willing.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

RobFTC

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1196 on: April 07, 2017, 10:26:05 PM »
Hi folks,

I should pitch in here.  As the guy I am now, I would not rush to kiss on a first date, and not doing so is more about not getting ahead of myself than lack of interest.  I would not typically set up a date while on a date, I would arrange that awhile later, so I knew what I wanted to do and had some time to plan it without being distracted by your presence; again, not setting up a date on a date would not be evidence of non-interest.  I would generally try to limit texting to logistics, rather than being really chatty.  And I too would be looking for signs of interest to gauge my pace.

I would absolutely show interest if I had interest, and I would absolutely follow through with everything I promised.

Some of these things are new behaviours for me as a result of reading.  Guys can rush into failure, and fighting that impulse and taking time seems worth it from recent experience.  I was burned to the point of being crispy by moving too fast and having the wrong kinds of communications via text messages two-plus years ago, and after some processing time I finally reoriented my mindset last year to prevent a repeat.  Now I get to make fresh mistakes, right?  :)

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1197 on: April 07, 2017, 10:39:45 PM »
Thanks Rob!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

kjs1989

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1198 on: April 07, 2017, 11:14:23 PM »
That is a great reply, Rob.

It kind of reminds me of how NG proceeded. He simply said he had a great time, hugged me and said he would like to do it again soon. He left it at that. He called a couple of days later with an invite to a blues concert.

I liked how it played out. No kissy kissy, just a nice hug and a genuine expression of enjoying the evening. It gave me time to think and regroup a bit, too, so that when he called I was truly ready and happy to hear from him.

First Widow

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1199 on: April 08, 2017, 06:19:29 AM »
Another thank you to Rob.  I may have learned more reading that post than I did in some of my college classes. LOL  Realizing I've probably done the same "moving too fast and having the wrong kinds of communications via text" with my first online dating adventure so if this doesn't work out I'll be back for Rob's master class.
"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."