Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161492 times)

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1200 on: April 09, 2017, 12:38:33 PM »
It's happened again . Date the other night , awesome time , chemistry. He reached out , scheduled date for yesterday but then called to change to today , he had his son last night . Then I get a text this am ... hey there , I forgot I promised to do something with my mom . So sorry .
I swear I give ...this was the second time from online that something like this happened . I don't usually have good first online dates ,when I meet people in real life , I have managed to date them. Online ? I give ! 
Very very sad , it shouldn't be this hard.
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

klim

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1201 on: April 09, 2017, 08:22:44 PM »
that's no fun  :(

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1202 on: April 09, 2017, 09:43:48 PM »
I'm sorry....😔

Maybe he will redeem himself.
Don't message him first though.

Mr Bumble took until tonight to contact me after our Thursday lunch. We now have a date set up for next week.

I told Mr Tinder that he wasn't for me. I knew it was the right thing to do.

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1203 on: April 09, 2017, 10:19:27 PM »
Momtokam,
Good luck on date two... I was curious so I downloaded bumble... I don't understand it yet .. but I'll try lol
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1204 on: April 10, 2017, 12:20:51 PM »
Thanks Momtojandj. 😊

It will be date 3 actually, or 4 if we squeeze in another lunch this week.

Bumble is exactly like tinder except that when you get a match, the woman has to be the 1st to communicate and it must be within 24hrs. It's hit or miss, just like the rest. I see many of the same faces! Have fun with it. 😁

arneal

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    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1205 on: April 10, 2017, 05:51:33 PM »
Right, First Widow? I wish I'd seen a post like this before my first online dating experience  :o
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1206 on: April 11, 2017, 09:03:23 PM »
May this post serve as my introduction to your group?

I lost DW almost 5 years ago.  For way too much of the last 4+ years I have been online dating.  I am seeing someone now who I introduce as "My last girlfriend."  Wish me luck  :)

I am introducing myself in this thread because dating has been so much of my life for these last years.  All my best stories are about dating.

Thank you all for sharing in this 80+ pages of wisdom.  As others have already said "I wish I'd seen this before I started dating!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D

Love2fish
« Last Edit: April 11, 2017, 09:05:36 PM by Love2fish »

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1207 on: April 11, 2017, 10:04:30 PM »
Welcome Love2fish. Wishing all the luck that she is your last girlfriend.

This on line dating thing is definitely not easy but very entertaining at times! I'm sure you have more to add here from your experience.

I started this thread out of frustration but it has evolved to much more, bringing a few laughs as well, along with some good wisdom!

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1208 on: April 11, 2017, 10:23:33 PM »
snip...

Ghosting is just weird and not nice.

You are right that ghosting is weird and not nice.  And I confess that I was guilty more than once.  I will try to explain why that happened without excusing my bad manners. 
I usually was chatting with 2 or 3 ladies at a time (Match, POF, Seniorsmeet) and doing one or two M&Gs /week.  If we had a week of 'getting to know you' messages I would want to meet you.  If I turned into a ghost this may be the why.

What happened might have been due to simple geography.  If I had to choose between meeting several ladies it often came down to something mundane like who lived closer or in the town I'll be driving through next week.  The right thing to do would be to tell you, as 1st runner up, the whole story.  But what if there is no chemistry with the lady who lived closer?  Then I would want to meet you as 1st runner up. But if I told you the 'whole story' already you might feel insulted and not want to give me a second chance.  I had that happen for real.  So sometimes I was just trying not to burn a bridge.  I probably had two or three dates with the other lady before swiping left.   It was cowardly and inconsiderate of me not to follow through with you.
That is not how I usually did things but it happened and I still feel some guilt.  :-[

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1209 on: April 21, 2017, 10:41:45 AM »
So I've decided to take a self imposed break from all online. My self esteem sadly keeps taking a beating on there.  The amount of dates I've gone on and that they guy flakes or no interest, has been too much. I know the odds of meeting someone in the real world is tough, but I need to regroup and maybe put  my toes back in online at some point .
However I have thought to post on Facebook , offering a reward for getting  introduced to someone nonmarried, non psycho and interesting .
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

Portside

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1210 on: April 21, 2017, 12:16:31 PM »
. . . offering a reward for getting  introduced to someone nonmarried, non psycho and interesting.

Two out of three seems to be most everyone's experience.  ;D
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

Forgottenwife

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1211 on: April 21, 2017, 01:10:13 PM »
So I've decided to take a self imposed break from all online. My self esteem sadly keeps taking a beating on there.  The amount of dates I've gone on and that they guy flakes or no interest, has been too much. I know the odds of meeting someone in the real world is tough, but I need to regroup and maybe put  my toes back in online at some point .
However I have thought to post on Facebook , offering a reward for getting  introduced to someone nonmarried, non psycho and interesting .

I remember all of this, and I would take breaks from online dating sometimes too. The first couple of unkind rejections really stung. But I was lucky to understand quickly that those rejections really didn't have anything to do with me at all and it is not indicative of the person that I am. I quickly learned it wasn't personal. I feel ya, it can be difficult to meet genuine people when you are dating. I don't know about Facebook, but I don't see anything wrong with letting friends and neighbors know you are interested in getting to know available, single men and you welcome their introductions to the best candidates they know! That is a great way to meet people.   

momtokam

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1212 on: April 21, 2017, 08:29:29 PM »
I totally get it MJJ. It can get very frustrating at times.
Take your break and maybe you will feel up to it at a later date.

I've had a few offers to introduce me to people they know but it never really materializes. When I asked for an update once, they said they didn't want to feel bad if it went south. I'm a grownup, I can handle it!
« Last Edit: April 21, 2017, 08:31:55 PM by momtokam »

Needytoo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1213 on: April 22, 2017, 10:55:31 AM »
I have taken so many breaks from online dating.  I am putting the word out there that I would like to start to date, a few say they know single men but so far nothing.

I am not renewing my subscription for Match, just not enough current members in my area.  Still on POF. I have to say I am getting better recognizing the guys who are just out there to waste your time.  It has been at least a year since I have actually gone on a coffee date. All the guys I have met previously were definitely not a good match for me.  Chatting with a few guys and one hopefully we will meet next week.  They are all older but I trying to keep open. 

Even signed up for another online dating workshop. I need some inspiration and hopefully this will help.

arneal

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    • The Starving Activist
Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1214 on: April 22, 2017, 02:28:57 PM »
Anyone tried speed dating? I have seen a few ads on Groupon (yeah, right??) in my area. momto -- those flakes and rejections ... take them as you have: learning experiences. I think we've all been there. Once you take your break and decide to get back out there, consider checking some of the free sites as well and set it up to include people in your local area (or as far out as you are willing to travel). I found a very wonderful date on a free site who was close by. This tends to be more likely if you live in or near a larger region, urban area, or well-populated suburban area.
Hugs!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b