Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 145512 times)

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1290 on: May 25, 2017, 09:43:17 PM »
Oh my, Momto ...
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Virgo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1291 on: May 30, 2017, 01:27:19 AM »
Most of you know that I haven't ventured into online dating, but I have been dating. I've decided to take another break. I'm just tired of feeling like the effort isn't equal. I feel like I give in sometimes just for the company, which obviously isn't fulfilling me. It's frustrating me instead.
Jen

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Julester3

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1292 on: May 30, 2017, 03:09:28 PM »
I feel exactly the same way. I feel like I am doing all the work. I initiate the conversations, I suggest things to do and places to go, and I seem to make the plans. Most of the time they don't even show up! It's far from effortless. It's taking too much of my limited energy and I too am frustrated. This dating experiment has put me in a "guys my age suck" mindset. I have one last guy to give a fair shake leftover from the online site I already left but he is begging for a meet. My heart is no longer in it and I just don't care anymore frankly. Then I'm taking a break from this dating thing - for a good long time.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1293 on: May 30, 2017, 03:22:13 PM »
So sorry Virgo and Julester. If you want to date, don't give up. Check the various sites, maybe adjust what you list in your 'looking for' section -- sometimes men (and probably women as well) don't put their best foot forward in the profile creation department. I had a horrid experience with the first person I was chatting up online (he was a fake and a troll) and the ones who expressed interest thereafter were weird (couldn't spell or used text-speak exclusively ... one guy was at the high end of my 'looking for' age range and only used text-speak. Yuck!), didn't read my profile with any depth, or were only interested in hooking up for sex (even though my profile clearly indicated I was looking or a long-term relationship and not hook ups). I went to another site and the first guy I encountered there fell into the hook-up category but I didn't give up and met a great guy.

That said, there's nothing wrong with taking a break. Just be prepared for weirdness when you step back in the ring. You'll be wiser and can cut off the games more quickly :) All the best!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1294 on: May 31, 2017, 09:42:07 AM »
Sorry to hear of the struggles Julester & Virgo - I've had my share of weirdos.  There ARE good guys out there, it's a process to weed out and find them, unfortunately.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Julester3

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1295 on: May 31, 2017, 03:44:17 PM »
Yeah I think that's why I want to try speed dating where they are already there and maybe even try a matchmaking service to filter through for me. I sort of feel that if a guy is paying for the service he'll be less likely to blow you off because he's invested in it versus a free website. Does that make any sense?

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1296 on: May 31, 2017, 03:52:10 PM »
Julester -- it would seem like it, but if you scroll back through this thread, you will find that unfortunately, ghosters pay for the privilege it seems  ::)
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1297 on: May 31, 2017, 04:58:45 PM »
Again I have to agree with Arneal,

To Julesrter3, I believe that what you are calling "free" websites have upgrade options.  When i was on those sites I always paid for the upgrade but I met many women who were sticking with the free option.  My attitude was that this was the most important thing I was doing.  Finding a new companion is on a level with buying a home or choosing a career.  It is worth an investment.  From what I can tell, the matchmaking services are no better than chance at matching you up with the right one.

Meeting as many as possible was my approach.  You can't know by Email or phone conversation.  Real life is the way to go.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2017, 07:20:06 PM by Love2fish »

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1298 on: May 31, 2017, 05:13:11 PM »
Love2 makes several great points here. I met my NG on a free site that offered the free upgrade portion for a weekend (sort of like those free communication weekends you see advertised on TV). When we 'liked' each other's profiles that weekend, we were able to chat for free. From there, we talked and traded phone numbers, and decided to meet for a lunch date. The first chat happened on like a Friday, the phone conversation on Saturday, and the lunch date on Monday. It's the luck of the draw I think and as Love2 said, increase the odds by increasing the connections. If you meet for coffee, you can get a sense of whether it's worth more.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1299 on: May 31, 2017, 05:36:50 PM »
Addendum:  When I said "meet as many as possible".   I forgot to add, I met 141.  The odds of me meeting the right one were poor from the git-go.  I am past retirement.  I had a life.  Every great woman I met also had a life.  It is never possible to combine two lives without both being able to give up some of the previous life.  That is a tough thing for anyone to do.  I am happy to say that it can be done and it is totally worth the trouble.

trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1300 on: June 02, 2017, 03:28:16 PM »
Quote from Love2fish  "From what I can tell, the matchmaking services are no better than chance at matching you up with the right one."

Somewhat agree with this - I joined a matchmaking service last November, have been paired with several on-line matches of which NONE have worked out.  I attended some of their speed-dating type parties, met several nice guys there that I've been out with, one that I continue to see now.  The organic way of meeting somebody in person works much better for me.  Advantage of a matchmaker service is that clients have been vetted and deemed for the most part, available and ready to date.  It's taken some of the craziness away, although there is certainly still some drama that goes with it.  But on-line matching - not effective, in my opinion.  Too easy to hide behind a profile and not make the effort.
Wow, love2fish - 141!  Sounds like you got a good result from the effort? :D
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Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1301 on: June 02, 2017, 07:18:52 PM »
That is a good point about the vetting trying2breathe.  Men are generally safer with online dating.  Lots of women’s profiles are just scammers but they are easy to spot if you ask the right questions.   Only once did I meet a woman who I now believe was only there for the dinner.  That doesn’t bother me.  It was a nice dinner and she was a good conversationalist.  Cheaper than a night at the theatre.


141!  Sounds like you got a good result from the effort? :D

Yes,  it was worth the effort.  Lucky for me to find this gal.  She’s got a great sense of humor.  When she met two of my closest friends she made a name tag for herself that said “ Hi, My Name is #141” 

I did end up with a good great result.  I don’t suggest that triple digit meet & greets should be part of anyone’s strategy.  I never set out with that as a goal, it just worked out that way.  On the plus side it gave me a ton of funny stories.  On the negative side there were  broken hearts.  A number of the M&Gs led to serious dating.  A few were broken off by me and just as many by the lady.  No matter who it was that broke things off, I always felt that my heart was broken as well. 

trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1302 on: June 03, 2017, 01:42:49 PM »
I do feel generally safer meeting dates from the matchmaker, haven't had a situation yet with any of the guys where I've felt uncomfortable.  I still meet them out the first few dates, if things progress eventually the circle expands.   It's worked out well so far.  The vetted process that a matchmaker provides is well worth the cost of the service,  IMO. 


Glad that you found a great lady, sounds like she has a great sense of humor!
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Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1303 on: June 09, 2017, 06:08:24 AM »
I'm interested in opinions here .. two different guys , which I happened to go out with both twice , then one faded away and second I got it's not you , it's me speech .
 However , first guy told me about a date he had where he met the lady outside and she was heavy and walked with a limp . So he said I'm sorry this isn't going to work . So the lady left .
Second guy told me about a date , met lady in parking lot and started walking in together to restaurant and had orange skin from fake tan and a mole on her face, so he told her he wasn't interested in continuing date, lady was annoyed but left .

So my question , would you do that ? Have you ever ? I get there has to be attraction .. but I always go thru with the date , personality sometimes can win over a not great looking person . Then I'm also thinking those guys were so shallow they didn't even give those ladies a chance, I should've run from each of them .
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Trying

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1304 on: June 09, 2017, 06:29:22 AM »
Very shallow!  Attraction is about so much more than the initial first impression.  Sometimes you are talking to someone and you can get lost in their expressive eyes or a dimple shows up when they smile a real genuine smile that you hadn't noticed at first.   Those men could be missing out on really special ladies, glad you were able to see them for who they were and move on. 

Aside from that, if someone took the time to get themselves ready for a date, made time for the date, drove to the date I would be respectful enough to share a cup of coffee and some conversation.

This is a world of instant gratification and online dating brings out the worst in some people.
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