Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 161378 times)

serpico

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1335 on: June 20, 2017, 08:22:19 AM »
I would love your thoughts and opinions.  I am at a bit of a loss......

It sounds to me like neither of you has pushed for a meeting yet, for whatever reason.  It also sounds like he respects you and your boundaries, at least from how he responded to your text.

You make a good point about potentially being 'something in his head', and the reverse may be true as well.  I think it makes sense to push for a meeting and see what happens.  If nothing else it'll force the issue one way or the other.
'I think I got some of your pickle'

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1336 on: June 20, 2017, 09:08:01 AM »
A couple thoughts from my own experiences for you jgib.

Early on in my dating I Emailed with a woman for over two months.  We seemed quite infatuated with each other.  Our romance lasted until we met.  The other person can be anyone you want them to be as long as you never meet.   Towards the end of my dating I began insisting that we meet after as few emails as possible.  Chemistry can only be judged in IRL.

I also had a bad experience as a result of long distance dating.  For long distance to work (for me) there had to be a lot of good chemistry.  If you are going to travel an hour or more for a date you need strong motivation.  Spontaneity is almost impossible.  If there is a strong attraction then the pressure to advance the relationship quickly is increased with long distance.  The first sleep-over happens a lot sooner than it would otherwise.  It is too easy to get involved with someone that you don't really know.

That being said, I would not rule out long distance, just be aware of pitfalls.  The NG lived 80 miles away and things are going very well with us.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1337 on: June 20, 2017, 10:48:07 AM »
jgib -- what Virgo said. It sounds like you haven't done any video chatting, which means you might be right about that 'being something in his head' because you all haven't had a chance to see one another's expressions and hear voices in real time. I've shared my first online long distance experience and it was just that ... he was something in my head. Because I got the feeling that everything he was feeding me was a crock and he eventually creeped me out, I started doing reverse photo lookup (https://ctrlq.org/google/images/); if you use Chrome, you can most times right-click on a photo and the option to look up the photo is there. Anyway, after that whole debacle, I started setting my preferences for someone in my general area (I live in Southern California, so driving an hour to meet someone is not too crazy). On this new site, the first guy to message was from Virginia; the written banter was friendly enough and then he asked when I was coming to Virginia. I said I wasn't and asked him when he was coming to SoCal. He said he wasn't. I wished him all the best. He replied with something like 'Well, that was fast' -- I was irritated and wrote back something like, 'In my profile I clearly stated I was looking for someone in my area, which in this case is Southern California. I have a lot going on that precludes my traveling. It sounds like you to have restrictions on your time so I figured you were looking for someone either in your area or willing to travel there and am wishing you the best.' In the end, he sent a couple more messages that sought to discover if I was there for a hook up like him (can you feel my eyes rolling? My profile also said I was there for a long-term situation). I ran into a couple of relatively local people who were all about the hook up as well and when I didn't go for it, they ghosted.

My best advice is that online dating is not for the faint of heart. It is not easy to make a connection, whether you are on a free or a paid site. It takes patience and thick skin to deal with the jerks, players, fakers, ghosters, and takers. It is a steep learning curve but one that can yield a good connection once you situate yourself in the reality of it all. You may find meeting in person that you don't make a connection and that's okay. Keep trying. Keep meeting. If you want to include online dating in your repertoire of how to meet people, do so! Just remember that the 'dating' part of the equation can't really happen until you actually meet face to face :) I have friends who started out as long distance daters, but live video was how they started getting to know each other, leading to travel and in two cases, marriage.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

tybec

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1338 on: June 20, 2017, 09:52:58 PM »
I have very little experience in dating, period.  Really only dated LH since age 14.  Move to new guy.  Chatted on line about 5 nights, and he wanted phone contact, and then, of course, face to face.  I noted at the very beginning of chat that chemistry was needed, despite how good things can be "on paper."  Me and LH should have never lasted the 28 years we did. 

So, met NG face to face after 10 days of communicating. This was the first time he was available due to his children's scheduled time.  15 months later, and I am moving to his town.  Not JUST for him, but I never would have considered it without meeting him. Things fell into place.

But we all know about chemisty, right?   ;)

Good luck with all that.

Metv

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1339 on: June 22, 2017, 02:53:36 PM »
I have to have face to face, in a reasonably short time, else it's time to move on.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2017, 09:27:26 PM by Metv »

faye

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1340 on: June 25, 2017, 12:13:20 PM »
  We have been texting for a long time, over a year...
  We live quite far apart and have not met yet...I am worried I am something in his head that I am not in real life!
I can't imagine doing this unless I was in a position to move to be with someone, or he to be with me. 

jgib

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1341 on: June 25, 2017, 08:02:31 PM »
I am a position to move....  Also not in a hurry to do anything.  We will see.....

Metv

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1342 on: June 25, 2017, 09:02:07 PM »
You seem like a very nice lady maybe expand your horizons and not count on someone just chatting to make you happy. Wishes for the best.

momof2obs

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1343 on: July 05, 2017, 12:47:20 PM »
Just a reminder that the scammers are out there and be careful.  Had one try to get one over on me.  He was shocked, shocked I tell you, that after just two weeks of messaging on the dating app I was finding it hard to believe that he was in love with me.  I asked him if this was the part where he asked me for money and poof, next day he was gone!

Messaged the app help line to report him.  Waiting  to hear back.  I feel for those who are vulnerable and fall for this nonsense.

Update:  The scammer has been blocked.  I'm sure it is only a matter of time until he is back.
« Last Edit: July 06, 2017, 11:13:12 AM by momof2obs »

Metv

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1344 on: July 09, 2017, 09:27:06 PM »
The sites usually won't respond back except sometimes a generic message. There's not too much they can do, someone is not obligated to respond, there are as many scams out there, as people actually sincere. Buyer beware.

momof2obs

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1345 on: July 10, 2017, 07:48:52 AM »
The sites usually won't respond back except sometimes a generic message. There's not too much they can do, someone is not obligated to respond, there are as many scams out there, as people actually sincere. Buyer beware.

I have to say that they did respond back and worked with me to get the scammer blocked. I was impressed that they did take the situation seriously.

Needytoo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1346 on: July 12, 2017, 05:53:10 AM »
Hello everyone, had to give my little update in this weird thing we call online dating. 
Did go to a meet and greet awhile back. The guy was 61 years old and extremely nervous (I tend to scare the living “poop” out of guys, not sure why).  He then would text me a million times a day. I swear I was trying to be open to all of this. Then he wanted to get together for coffee at 10:30 at night, sounded to me more like a booty call. Then he offered to drive me around in his truck. Just doesn’t sound exciting to me. So I stopped it, I forgot to mention his parents live with him.

Now chatting with this other guy.  He seems nice, he knows a woman I know who just happens to be a widow. He was their best man at their wedding.  He keeps telling me he's a large man. Technically I am obese as well but pretty damn active I am a little worried that he is morbidly obese.  He has two adopted boys 10 & 13. He told me last night he moved in with his Mom after his father’s passing in December. I have such mixed feelings on this. 

BrokenHeart2

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1347 on: July 12, 2017, 07:48:43 AM »
Hey NT, are you sure the 1st one was 16 not 61? LOL  Is there any chance you could talk to the woman you know.  Maybe find out a bit about him?  If not, why not meet for coffee?  Hey, you just never know!!
Good luck!
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Needytoo

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1348 on: July 12, 2017, 01:29:39 PM »
Yep pretty sure first guy was 61. lol

The lady I know works at the same college I do but she is laid off for the summer.   I don't think I can bring up the morbidty obese question.  He husband was and committed suicide because of his depression with it.  I maybe can ask around and see if anyone has her home number. 

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1349 on: July 13, 2017, 06:52:46 PM »
I vote for doing coffee NT.  What have you got to lose?

You can always (almost always) have fun with a M&G.  Everybody has some funny stories if you can pull them out.  After that it's up to you if anything more is going to happen.