Author Topic: On line dating vents and laughs......  (Read 146635 times)

trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1380 on: October 04, 2017, 04:41:30 PM »
jgib   Sorry to hear that you're having a rough go of it.  I joined a dating service and the members there are vetted, so those that I met were available, ready to date and seemed to be relatively sane.  :D   I didn't really have any expectations when going on dates, other than an expectation that I'd be safe and hoped to have a pleasant time with somebody new and I usually wasn't disappointed.
Good luck!
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1381 on: October 04, 2017, 05:07:30 PM »


I like your attitude T2B.   "Have a pleasant time"   :)

I wish I had known that sooner in my dating.   I eventually caught on and had some real fun M&Gs even when it was obvious to each of us that no LTR was going to happen.  Those were some of the best encounters.

There were other M&Gs, especially in the first year, that weren't so easy going.  I met several ladies who absolutely hated feeling like they had to do the M&G.  One told me she felt like she was putting herself in a shop window in Amsterdam.  I felt so sorry for her. 

Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1382 on: October 04, 2017, 06:20:23 PM »
T2b ... I wish there was dating services around me , can I ask is it expensive ?
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1383 on: October 04, 2017, 08:39:25 PM »
It can be somewhat expensive - the service kind of figures out what you can afford and goes from there.  There's no harm in checking it out if you find something where you are.  If's it not for you, just walk away.  ;)
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1384 on: October 04, 2017, 08:43:34 PM »
love2fish  Oh gosh, the shop window in Amsterdam image  :P  It's about attitude, in my humble opinion. The more relaxed I am the better experience I seem to have.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1385 on: October 05, 2017, 05:53:19 AM »
So I had a really nice date Sunday night . Technically it was our third , first two were a few months ago but his divorce wasn't final . Fast forward and we went out . We both talked about when we date we focus on one person, and not keep looking online. Well a friend saw him online, a lot yesterday . I called him out and said don't think dating will work for us , we can be friends and maybe hang out . He said he was only checking messages. Alrighty then ... back to drawing board . Bummed we really got along well.
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

klim

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1386 on: October 05, 2017, 07:00:35 AM »
I wouldn't be that quick to dismiss, in honesty it's a first date that went well...and you want to go ahead to find out more about the guy. You are not an exclusive dating couple after 1( recent) date....If the habit continues after you've established a relationship then yes that is not good.

I know when I was online I was involved in numerous conversations..... and even when I had been on a successful date I didn't ghost from those conversations. My successful 1 date did not mean I had found my guy....it meant maybe i had found something. 3 or 4 dates later I often found out that no I didn't, so back to the drawing board and hopefully some of those people that I didn't ghost on were still around.

i would give the guy a chance.   
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Momtojandj

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1387 on: October 05, 2017, 07:11:47 AM »
Klim .. I think what bugs me is how he brought it up, not going online and focusing on one person . Then he's the one online . I left it in his court , if he wants to ask me out again .
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

Captains wife

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1388 on: October 05, 2017, 08:03:16 AM »
I could see how that is irritating especially after what he said....but I have done ALOT of online dating and it takes me several dates with someone to consider even putting my match account on hold and concentrating on one person (even with great first dates). Maybe he is looking to focus on one person but taking his time to do so?? This could especially be the case if recently divorced (I have really seen alot of divorce baggage out there). Its so hard to tell with online dating what people's motives are...I feel like I have seen it all.....

Love2fish

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1389 on: October 05, 2017, 08:44:35 AM »
klim & Captains wife both make good points Momto,

I found myself in this situation more than once.  Multiple conversations going on and sometimes multiple M&Gs set up.  Then someone comes along who just might be the one.  What to do about the others I had been talking to?  There is no good answer to that question that I ever found. 

The best I found was to be open and honest with all.  My gilf friend and I both had numerous others that we were talking to or had dates with before we met.  She still (after 10 months) has a couple guys who check in to make sure she is still unavailable and she writes to tell them we are happy together and plan to keep it that way.  The ladies I had been talking to, or had recently met, thanked me for my honesty and asked that I get back to them if things changed.  One of them had a cute way of saying it  "If miss 1st place is unable to complete her term please call me first runner-up."

No two situations are alike and you are dealing with a recently divorced guy.  Another animal altogether.  Good luck with that.  I share my experience just to offer another perspective.

Forgottenwife

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1390 on: October 05, 2017, 10:39:13 AM »
  I eventually caught on and had some real fun M&Gs even when it was obvious to each of us that no LTR was going to happen.  Those were some of the best encounters.

This was my experience too. I met some interesting people and had fun. I even went so far as to introduce one of the men I met to a good friend of mine who was single, they were much better suited for one another than he and I were.

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1391 on: October 05, 2017, 02:09:15 PM »
Momto -- yes, it is hard when you take a step in good faith. I posted several weeks ago on another thread that the person I am seeing still had POF on his phone. He was trying to show me something online and hit the screen when it and several other (non-dating related :) ) apps opened. I was the one who said I would focus on what was going on between us; he had agreed at another point that he wasn't into dealing with more than one person at a time. When I saw the app, I was freaked but didn't say anything. I had simply gotten rid of the apps and closed off my dating accounts, but that was my choice. There has been nothing outstanding to suggest that he is talking to anyone else. I also read on a dating discussion post that until you both agree that you are exclusive, you aren't. Not saying you want to be running about, dating tons of other people (unless you do!), but as others have said, there is an aspect of politeness in replying to messages or continuing conversations and not ghosting.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Leadfeather

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1392 on: October 05, 2017, 06:47:57 PM »
And my M&G canceled on me tonight. She could not find a sitter, and is booked up with things for the next two weeks. Not sure if she is really interested or not so I threw the ball into her court and asked her (nicely) to throw it back if she has a night she can go out. Oldest son is out for the evening, youngest is out until Thanksgiving. The house is so quiet and I do not know how many times I can go over to my mothers or my sisters houses and talk about the same old things.

Screw it I am going to the gym. If nothing else having so many empty hours to fill over the past 10 months has helped me finally drop 55 pounds.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
-Corrie Ten Boom

arneal

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1393 on: October 05, 2017, 07:05:25 PM »
Leadfeather -- I hear you! I never worked out in my life until after LH died. It was good for me physically and a good stress reliever. Hope you get in a good M&G soon!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

trying2breathe

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Re: On line dating vents and laughs......
« Reply #1394 on: October 06, 2017, 12:18:27 PM »
Leadfeather   I hear you too, I had a lot of evenings spent with my parents watching Wheel of Fortune (yawn) and sharing TV dinners. :o  It's taken time and a lot of effort to get going with my own routine.  Sounds like a good thing that you put the ball in her court and asked her to make the next move, I wouldn't be surprised if she contacts you soon.


I fess up that I get Match and eHarmony emails, I'd be embarrassed if NG found them as I've never engaged in on-line dating or conversed with anybody on any of the sites.  Guess it's time to delete those .....
Have I told you lately how much I love you?