Specific Situations > Suicide/Addiction/Mental Illness/Abuse

Alcoholism and Addiction As A Disease?

<< < (3/3)

Carmsen:
It has been two months and I am struggling, I miss him soo much it hurts. How to understand what has happened the year before is difficult. He should have been here when his parents arrived 12 days later. I shouldn't have found him dead!

Carmsen:
Sometimes I feel like I want to hurt myself and that I can't cope

Bluebird:

--- Quote from: Carmsen on February 12, 2017, 03:53:42 AM ---It has been two months and I am struggling, I miss him soo much it hurts. How to understand what has happened the year before is difficult. He should have been here when his parents arrived 12 days later. I shouldn't have found him dead!

--- End quote ---

Hi Carmsen, welcome to widda.org and I'm so sorry for the loss that brought you here.

Like you I was almost completely lost in the pain of losing my husband. At two months, that pain is overwhelming. In a situation where addiction or similar circumstances preceeded their death, the swirling memories of their decline torment us and fill us with what-if's and regrets. I too was the one to find my husband's body and felt traumatized by seeing him, then realizing he was cold and then understanding he was dead. Seven years later and my stomach still churns as I reflect on it.


--- Quote from: Carmsen on February 12, 2017, 04:00:33 AM ---Sometimes I feel like I want to hurt myself and that I can't cope

--- End quote ---

My heart goes out to you ((((Carmsen)))). Hurting yourself isn't the way forward. At this moment, you need to do the opposite of that instinct. Instead of hurting yourself, pour those emotions into taking care of yourself. Simple things like eating regularly, getting a shower, talking with supportive friends, praying or meditating, writing/journaling, participating on our website. Please also consider a grief counselor - sometimes it really helps to know that you aren't alone in your feelings and to get support for what you are going through. It will be hard at first, but as time goes by I know you won't always feel as you do now.

Take care, Bluebird

Forgottenwife:

--- Quote from: Carmsen on February 12, 2017, 04:00:33 AM ---Sometimes I feel like I want to hurt myself and that I can't cope

--- End quote ---

Hi Carmsen. I am so so sorry for your loss and whatever has brought you here. I understand how you feel as after my husband died from suicide fueled by addiction, I too wanted to join him, I didn't think I would ever be ok. I get it. I know others here can relate too.

Please consider calling a hotline/finding a trusted therapist/checking into the ER. You matter. Harming yourself is not the answer. I worked on finding a team of mental health experts to drag me back into the land of the living. I lived and I know you can too. I'll be thinking of you. I am so sorry Carmsen.

Bear Shannon:
I'm bipolar and sometimes try to self medicate with booze so it all kinda goes together.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page

Go to full version