Author Topic: It's our wedding anniversary today  (Read 2231 times)

fern

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It's our wedding anniversary today
« on: July 28, 2015, 09:40:46 PM »
It's our wedding anniversary today and no one knows.
90 people were there. Where did they all go?

MissingMyJon

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2015, 11:23:03 PM »
Happy Anniversary!

I am so very sorry that you had to spend the day alone, without your spouse.  And I am sorry that no one who was at your wedding remembered to see how you are doing, or to support you. 

My DH passed almost 15 months ago, and the only people who recognized my first wedding anniversary with Jon were my parents, and that is only because I needed them to pick up my kids from school that day.  This year they didn't even remember.  The day was so hard without Jon, but the emptiness seemed to be magnified by the absence of friends/family to recognize such an important day for me. 

Just wanted to let you know I get it.

((HUGS))
Jon, your name is imprinted on my life.
I love you, baby.
9/16/1985 - 4/30/2014

Brenda

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2015, 12:43:06 PM »
Happy (belated) Anniversary too.  Sorry it was so quiet; it's a particularly sour day for those of us left behind because it's the one special day that was all about the fact that we were married, a day that we celebrated as a couple, not as individuals.  To me, since my wife's passing, it's the most important date in my calendar.  Our day.  Not a sad and lonely death day, not a sad and lonely birthday or a sad and lonely Christmas or New Year, but a happy "we had something special" day.

Sadly, it's often one of those things that only you and your spouse would pencil into the diary, despite being the date that our families once merged and grew and were supposed to be happy.  My 20th came and passed without a frickin' word from my in-laws (who, by that time, a few months after my wife's death, had already pretty much disowned me - so no real surprise in my case.)

I hope you survived.  The good news, I suppose, is that there's always next year when you can all raise a glass to the one who isn't here anymore.

Jen

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2015, 04:15:02 PM »
My first anniversary without LH was hard... harder than I'd imagined, probably because of what Brenda says: it was OUR day. It was rough.

So many hugs to you. Happy Belated Anniversary.
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

donswife

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2015, 09:05:57 AM »
happy anniversary , sorry you felt even more alone with out anyone to acknowledge the day
it must have been hard enough just trying to get through the day
my first anniversary is coming up end of this month and I am dreading it
 
My everything

Trying

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2015, 03:16:37 AM »
((((Fern)))) the first anniversary without them is hard enough, I'm so sorry you had to face it alone. 
You will forever be my always.

Lmsmdm

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2015, 09:23:55 PM »
((((Hugs)))))) I hope you were able to find moments of peace. It was suggested to me by a dear friend to do something special for yourself, and make it a tradition. Big or small, make it something truly for you. I loved the idea and I ran with it.

On our anniversary I either have a few friends over for dinner, or go out to lunch always with a very fancy cocktail  :) For his birthday, I've started inviting close friends to come over with Chinese lanterns (thank you wgw). They know why I do mine, but I tell everyone to send theirs up in memory of their someone special.
You hate me don't you? Yup, so much I married you twice! :)

fern

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2015, 11:37:42 PM »
Thanks for the replies everyone. I got through the day, put my child to bed, had a glass of wine and went to sleep!

Justin

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2015, 09:23:46 AM »
That is good to hear Fern!

Our wedding anniversary last year (my first without DW) fell on Thanksgiving, so it was completely overshadowing by the holiday. I don't think anyone remembered but her parents and DD. I was 4.5 months out, and kept it together until I drank too much after dinner and DW's brother had to drive me home and put me to bed. Not my finest moment - that double-whammy of two important dates together just knocked me for a loop.

I'm glad that you were able to do better  :)
« Last Edit: August 19, 2015, 02:27:41 PM by Justin »
Marsha 1975-2014

"Love is the province of the brave"

Carey

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Re: It's our wedding anniversary today
« Reply #9 on: August 19, 2015, 09:53:50 AM »
My first anniversary without Chad was actually 1 week to the day he died.  Oh and I got flowers at work from him. Yaknow, after he died.  UGH that was horrible. So I tell myself, I've been through that and come out on the other side, any other ones can never be that bad again.  But yes, usually no one will remember your wedding anniversary but you and your spouse.  I can't even remember how I got through 2014's anniversary, so it must not have been too terribly traumatic.  But I will always honor that day that we were married and never forget, no matter who comes around , if any one does in the future.  I am glad you were able to get through it better than I did :)

Justin ... I know what you mean. I got married Thanksgiving weekend and so many years thanksgiving overshadowed it. And for the past two Novembers the added drama of the holiday season without Chad and the fact that he also DIED Thanksgiving week ... well let's just say I'm not a fan.  At all.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter