Author Topic: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)  (Read 2550 times)

canadiangirl

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Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« on: March 10, 2015, 10:41:57 PM »
I am quoting from Ann E, who is a member, writing in 2010, quoting another member, Joe A., who wrote this poem which I think is a great descriptor of Extreme Caregiving:

"Robbed: Joe's Lament"

The hope for a better year became
The hope for a better month
The hope for a better month became
The hope for a better day
The hope for a better day became
The hope for a better moment
One perfect island in an ocean of pain

anniegirl

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2015, 12:48:15 PM »
Yes. That.

Thanks for saving it and sharing.
This is not the droid you are looking for.

Shelby

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2015, 07:20:38 AM »
I cried when I read that the first time because it rang so true. Five years later, it still does.

Shelby

Bear1956

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2015, 12:36:19 PM »
Yep

I still prefer to live in the moment, for better or worst.

lcoxwell

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2015, 07:15:26 PM »
Yep

I still prefer to live in the moment, for better or worst.

I am with you on this one.  Looking to the past leaves me longing for the life I no longer have.  Looking to the future, I am filled with fear of the unknown.  So, for now, I continue to focus on the here and now.
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

Ann E

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2015, 11:51:53 PM »
I wish I had saved the whole poem because it was so powerful. Thank you for saving this bit of it.
Ann E.
Mr. B 8/4/1954 - 6/10/2002
"This journey is ended. Another begins. Time to rest now."
- J. Michael Straczynski, Sleeping in Light

Kevin Z

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2015, 04:22:15 PM »
I was on the YWBB years ago and Joe's Lament really spoke to me as it put to words how I felt after caregiving for Jill and watching her slowly die.  I ran across this post and thought I should share his poem in its entirety.  It still is emotional for me 11 1/2 years later when I read it. 

Does anyone know how Joe is?   My hope is he has experienced healing like I too have.

"Robbed ? Joe?s Lament"

Trying to take a breath
Of the life that once lived in this house
What is the next thing that will bring me down?

A million dreams and hope itself died that December day
As did I

It?s not the way it?s supposed to go, you know
You meet the love of you life
Someone so innocent, pure
I saw a world of wonder through her eyes - reborn

We were not able to have children
Robbed
But it really did not matter ? I had her

She made me a better person
She gave me strength of purpose

Sickness came ? but she was stronger
As a couple we gritted our teeth and vowed
This would not get the better of us
God has a much better plan in mind

Her job was lost but that was OK
It was just temporary, right?
She?d be back to work soon, we thought
A minor setback
Robbed

Days at home waned
Days at the hospital multiplied
We were in our 20?s
Other couples were out dining, dancing, celebrating
Robbed

Dec 31, 1996 ? Please God,
Let 1997 be better than 96

Dec 31, 1997 ? Please God,
Let 1998 be better than 97

Did I mention that we were in our 30?s now?

Dec 31, 1998 ? Please God,
Let 1999 be better than 98

And so it goes?

70 days in the hospital in 1999
2000 could not possibly be worse

107?

The hope for a better year became
The hope for a better month
The hope for a better month became
The hope for a better day
The hope for a better day became
The hope for a better moment
One perfect island in an ocean of pain

Through the windows of our struggle,
We gained clarity of thought and perspective
No more pettiness
No more fighting
No more thoughtlessness

Just a knowing look
A glance at one another with understanding eyes
We?re different ? and we?re strong.
Perhaps stronger than most

The pinnacle of emotional bond
Between 2 persons
2 persons barely 30

And now you are gone?

Where do we go from here?

I had a calling, a mission, a purpose
Robbed

Your shoes
Your purse
Your clothes
Your teddy bear

You were here, right?

The pictures
We were young, once, weren?t we?
Wasn?t it all supposed to turn out different?

I wallow in silence, burning in time
Trying to conjure memories
Of when we just knew
It would all be just fine - we had a future together
I tried so hard to lighten your load
To bring some peace to your pain

Where are you now?
Why can you bring no peace to mine?
I know you can
Your world to mine is a lot closer
Than my world to yours

I cannot touch yours
But can you send me a sign?
Tell me that you are there
Tell me that you are waiting

I have to believe in the next world,
This one has cheated me
Given the greatest gift I have ever known
And then taken so young

I will walk the rest of my days alone
I will grit my teeth and fix my gaze
I will travel with clarity of purpose ? looking to her
I will be the captain of my soul

I will welcome death when it comes




canadiangirl

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2015, 09:03:07 AM »
Thank you Kevin Z, for saving and sharing.  And to Joe, wherever he is.  Sadly, I am sure many of us can relate.

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Robbed: Joe's Lament (from YWBB Extreme Caretaking thread)
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2015, 09:43:40 PM »
So profound and heartfelt. I pray Joe has found his way. Thank you Joe for writing this and Kevin Z for saving and reposting this.
Hugs
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.