Author Topic: Our Last Normal Night  (Read 1805 times)

Baylee627

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Our Last Normal Night
« on: March 10, 2015, 11:17:26 PM »
Today marks the year anniversary of my last remaining "normal" night together. I recall he was very tired and foggy that evening, which was nothing new those last few months. We had dinner together and he remarked how good it was, and I remember being a bit sheepish since it was a snap to make, nothing special.

We finished dinner---he had showered while I'd made it--and he told me he wanted to get to bed early. One lighthearted moment presented itself when he plodded into the kitchen wearing my flip-flops, his feet literally crammed into them. He said, "Sugar, what happened to my flip flops?" I threw my head back in laughter. "Those are MY flip-flops, Silly Goose!

I joined him in bed a couple hours later. For some reason, I reached over and patted his left bicep and whispered, "I love you, Sweetie." This is not something I engaged in much in those last months, as his sleeping patterns had grown increasingly erratic, and he was easily stirred from sleep, and often restless.

I didn't rouse to or even feel his goodbye kiss the next morning, the day he would slip into a coma. I know he did kiss me, because he was nothing if he wasn't a creature of habit. He never deviated in certain routines of his.

And a year later, it still haunts me that that moment passed me by while I soundly slept.

Baylee
Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and death shall have no dominion--Dylan Thomas

Gabzmom

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Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2015, 11:32:19 PM »
I can only send a hug as I choke back tears.  I am sooo very sorry.
"I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry." ~Cat Stevens

lcoxwell

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Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2015, 11:41:47 PM »
Dear, sweet Baylee, this is just beautiful.  Thank you for sharing this memory with us.  I wish I had better words, words of comfort or support, but right now, I just don't.  You are in my thoughts, though, and I am sending you tight, tight, cyber hugs.
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

widowat33

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Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2015, 12:47:41 AM »
I wish I knew what to say..those last memories will live on forever, just as our love for them will as well.
The last words between my own dh and I were both of us saying hello..just before his cell phone lost connection. I waited a few minutes to call him back, but there was no service where he was.
I have wished so many times to have the chance to tell him I love him one more time, as you said it haunts you that you slept through that last kiss.. But I try to remember the many times that I did tell him I love him, just as I'm sure you remember the many kisses..
Thinking of you and sending huge hugs!

Tweety76

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Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2015, 01:07:46 AM »
Hugs Baylee!!!!!!!! I really don't have anything intelligent to say... HUGS!!!!!!!!

Stargazer74

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  • Jamie, 35, Dec 2, 2014, Unknown Cause
Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2015, 10:12:57 AM »
That's a very touching story Baylee.   Its good to remember laughter and close times.  Hugs!
?Knock and it shall be opened.' But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac??
C.S. Lewis

?Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.?
C.S. Lewis

Jen

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Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2015, 02:15:04 PM »
((((Baylee))))

The day Jim died, I went to work-- no one had a clue that terrible Thursday would end as it did. I got up, got ready as usual, and left at 5:30, as usual. He didn't have to get up and get the kids ready for school until 6, so he stayed in bed. I usually put my shoes on last, then told him I loved him and I'd see him later, and asked if he wanted me to turn the light on (I'm wizard at getting ready for work in the dark-- it helps when you basically wear PJs!). He would say yes and I'd flip the light on, prompting a muffled curse, which always made me laugh.

That morning, I deviated from that routine only slightly, and I still don't know why I did. Instead of just saying "I love you," I crossed to his side of the bed, bent down, and kissed him. I'm so glad I did, because that was the last I spoke to him. We texted that day, but the last thing I know *for sure* that he got from me in person was a kiss and "I love you."

Damn it. Crying now. I miss him.
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Yell120910

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  • Our love was true, Greg. Jan 1984 - Aug 2014
Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2015, 12:28:34 AM »
BIG HUG @Baylee627
Can't hold back my tears...  :'(
I can't help but to recall our last "normal" night together as well...

UUUrrrrrrrggg this ride!
You are my Angel now.
A frequent "hello" from Heaven will ease my pain...

I love you my one true love.

beth_krkswidow

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Re: Our Last Normal Night
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2017, 12:50:28 PM »
hugs to you all.  With tears in my eyes, I read this thread, written when I was blissfully unaware of this site, or the hell which we now inhabit.  Just hugs.
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...