Author Topic: i feel very alone tonight  (Read 1438 times)

klim

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i feel very alone tonight
« on: September 04, 2015, 09:04:15 PM »
I've just dropped my youngest off at college, he's not handling it well.
i texted him to see and he said he's not doing great.
He always tells me he's fine....for him to say not great is upsetting.
I don't know what to do......and I'm sad cause nobody can help me.
I feel alone
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mawidow

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Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2015, 09:17:51 PM »
Those early days are a huge transition for him and for you. He will grow enormously from grappling with the experience. Wishing you some peace and comfort (and some good company this weekend? Or at least one friend who is supportive?). Sending support.

TooSoon

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Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2015, 09:48:14 PM »
Oh this has to be so gut wrenching for you.  I am a college professor and I teach a lot of first year students.  Every kid is different and it is a huge adjustment but if you can muster the strength, give him a few days.  My students start to relax by the end of September once they've met people and found their footing.  I don't know where he is in school or what his major is but I often put kids who are vulnerable in touch with upper classmen who can serve as question answerers and mentors.  PM me if you want to talk more.  It is completely normal for your son to feel out of sorts right now as it is for you to be completely wigged out.

Trying

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  • aka MissingmyTim
Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2015, 09:59:51 PM »
 You know I get it, it is so hard to see them struggling and not be able to make it all better.  The fact that he's sharing with you that he's having a tough time is a good sign that he is keeping communication open.  It totally sucks to be worried and not have your coparent by your side feeling it and dealing with it right along with you.
Your son will most likely be just fine, he will settle in and find his way.  If he needs a soft place to land, you will be there for him.   I just dropped mine off 2 weeks ago for his second try and I'm trying not to obsess and call him constantly. 

pm me anytime, I know how hard this is to do alone.
You will forever be my always.

Needytoo

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Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2015, 07:18:55 AM »
 Hugs to you, I know this is very difficult.  I remember way back when I went off to school it was so easy to meet people.  Now things for some reason (I blame social media) it is so different for them.  This year my college is doing so many activities this weekend for student to get to know each other maybe his school is doing the same thing. 


SoVerySad

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Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2015, 09:00:38 AM »
Oh, Klim, I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. It is hard not to have our spouses to share the burden of parenting worries and to lean on. I'm hoping that your son starts to feel more comfortable very soon.

Sending you tight hugs...
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

lcoxwell

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Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2015, 01:58:50 PM »
It is so unfair that we have to do these things, without the support of our spouses. I am sorry that your youngest is struggling, and that you are feeling so alone. While it may not help, just remember that those early days are hard, because our children are adjusting to being on their own in a new and unfamiliar place, while we are home and missing them. For most teenagers entering college, they find new friends soon enough and it doesn't take them long before they adjust and learn to enjoy themselves. Hand in there!
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

klim

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Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2015, 08:53:04 PM »
Thankyou all for the support. I spent the morning going over strategies to "survive". I'm hoping for better than survival but we will see. His approach is now he'll try it for a month and if he's not feeling any better he's out. I don't think I can argue with that. He's not really feeling it...he tells me he's glum :(
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Trying

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  • aka MissingmyTim
Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2015, 09:22:23 PM »
It's heartbreaking to hear that from your child!  Just stay open and hopeful, teenagers can do a complete turn around before we can catch our breath.  I hope that this is the case for your son and this difficult transition passes quickly. All of my positive thoughts are pointed in your direction.
You will forever be my always.

Guaruj

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Re: i feel very alone tonight
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2015, 06:21:00 PM »
I remember my first week of college being both exciting and scary. I hope he (and you) are doing a little better each day.

By the way, I enjoyed chatting with you on Thursday night.

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