My Grandma is Dying

[Alexswife]

Thank you all for your continued support.

She had a good day on Friday. She was even able to eat some soft foods but yesterday she was unresponsive all day again. They sent her home with hospice care.

My faith is helping me handle all of this. I have heard her say on so many occasions "why won't He just go ahead and take me." I know in my heart that she is tired of fighting, she's ready to go home.

Thanks again for always being here for me. I will keep y'all posted on her condition.

[linda5]

Just want you to know that you've got my prayers too.

[Alexswife]

Thank you.

I finally got up the nerve to go see her yesterday. It was much harder than I thought. She didn't really remember me.

When I got ready to leave I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her. She grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and held on to me for the longest time. It felt like goodbye.

If she keeps holding on I will go see her again this week. My heart is aching for my dad. I know his heart is so broken. Thanks again for all of your support.

[Abitlost]

I am so sorry, AW. It is so hard to say goodbye. I believe she knew it was you and by holding on and looking you in the eye she was letting you know how much she loves you.

Many hugs,

abl

[Alexswife]

She has stopped eating and drinking today. She was barely doing both of those things before so I know she has to be dehydrated.

The hospice social worker came by today to talk about funeral plans. My dad refuses to make any plans while she's still fighting.

He is so sad. Please, please pray.

[Wheelerswife]

Alexswife,

I'm sorry you are having to watch this process with your dear grandmother.  I imagine that the hospice team has told you that your grandmother is not likely to suffer from being dehydrated.  I hope you encourage your dad to give her whatever medication is available to ease any pain and suffering.  Some people stay longer than others in this final stage of life.  I just hope for peace for her and as much peace as possible for you and your dad.

Hugs,

Maureen

[Trying]

It is so hard to let go even when we know our loved one is ready.  I wish your Grandma peace as she transitions and for you and your family during this time.  Hugs and prayers.

[Alexswife]

I hope y'all don't get sick of me posting updates. I just have to let my thoughts out somehow and this feels like the only safe place.

We went to visit my grandma tonight. It was me, my parents, my brother and his family. We took our Church song books with us and sang around her bedside. It was really quite beautiful to watch the peace come over her as we sang about the Lord.  She tried her best to sing along.

I did ok while we were singing but there were moments when she would just freeze and I would think, "Is this it? Is she dead?"
I've never been there when someone died before and I really am terrified that I will be there when she passes. She is not doing good at all.

She would holler out for her brother who has been dead for years. She kept hollering for my dad. It's so sad. My heart is so broken but she is tired. If God takes her home, I won't be mad at Him. She is tired and she is ready. I don't want her to go but I don't want her to suffer either.

Please keep praying.

[nonesuch]

Praying for you and holding your family in my heart.

[Trying]

I had the privilege of holding both my Dad and my DH as they passed over.  It was a very sacred time and I felt that I helped ease their passage and reassured them both that it was ok to let go and put an end to their pain.  I felt very at peace in those moments and only after did my heart break and the pain hit me.  You obviously have a very strong faith and so does your grandma, so if you happen to be there then remember it is a final gift you can give to her.

I'm keeping you and your family in my prayers.

[Alexswife]

I've been trying to post an update but my laptop has been acting crazy so I couldn't.

The night after we did all of the singing and praying we went to see my grandma and she seemed to be improving. She was carrying on small conversations and seemed to comprehend everything she was talking about. Although she was screaming out in pain because of her head and her hip where she had surgery.

Then we went Friday night and she seemed even better. She talked the whole time we were there.  We didn't make it to see her yesterday but the lady she is staying with said she ate a whole turkey sandwich for lunch yesterday. Which is impressive because all she has been eating is mashed up food because she can't swallow well.

The doctors told my parents that if her brain stopped bleeding she could survive this. I am cautiously optimistic that maybe it has stopped and that is why she is improving. I know that God is able to heal and to bring her off of this death bed but I don't want to get my hopes up only to have her get worse again.

It has been such a long emotional week. Thanks again for all of your support.

[mmg19]

You are in my prayers this morning.

[SoVerySad]

Thank you for the update, AW. I've been thinking about you and your family. I'll keep holding your Grandma and you/your family in my thoughts and sending my hopes that she may continue to recover. I also hope they can get her pain managed so she is more comfortable. Tight, tight hugs...

[Wheelerswife]

Hugs, Alexswife.

Maybe you will get more good time with her.  I hope so!

Maureen

[gracelet]

Sweetie, sending you a hug.  I'm going through the same thing right now.  Being strong for my mum and her siblings whilst struggling with all the emotions myself.  It's very hard.  Wishing you all the best.  We've got this shit.  Promise.