Author Topic: funeral momentoes  (Read 2409 times)


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funeral momentoes
« on: August 24, 2015, 05:00:15 PM »
What to do with funeral momentoes???

There are cards, a memory book , a guest book from the funeral home. These are easy to deal with , I can file them as keepsakes.........

But my husband was a teacher and coach . His school gave me a signed bat and ball, senior letter plaque ball cap. I've kept them on top of a wardobe in my bedroom but I'm renovating and they are covered in dust. They mean a little to me but  admittedly not much. I know he was an amazing teacher I don't need these to remind me.

I feel bad if I get rid of them but then a practical side of me says that they served their purpose.At the time of the funeral it allowed the staff and students to convey their sorrow in a concrete form.

Any thoughts...... experiences


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2015, 05:57:12 PM »
I would say - don't feel badly about disposing of them. These are others' memories of your  husband, not specifically yours. G-d, it sounds cold when I say it that way; I don't mean it to be so, but I understand what you're saying. I've kept all the cards. They're in a box which I've looked at probably 3 times in 7 years. I keep them because people wrote from their hearts and I cherish that. But aside from that, there are other things I've not kept. Hugs - Marsha


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2015, 06:57:29 PM »
Good question Kilm.  I am back at decluttering my house and I came upon the funeral momentoes.  I even have a DVD of the service.  I can't see me ever watch it but I couldn't throw any of it away. 


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2015, 09:49:03 PM »
Uhggg, I lacked up and moved a ton of that stuff as well as business award plaques and coaching plaques.  They will stay boxed up in the new house too.  I've thrown out tons of stuff but the cards and awards are tough.
You will forever be my always.


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2015, 10:20:40 PM »
I put all of those things in a chest that I store in the basement. I look at it rarely but I feel I moght regret throwing it out.


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2015, 12:13:58 AM »
Would those items be sentimental to your kids? When in doubt I store it in a plastic tote. My thinking is there is no way of knowing what my daughters might feel an attachment to as they get older.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2015, 10:03:43 AM »
Klim- I have the guest book and kept a few cards tucked inside.  I also have a ton of pictures all in black frames of various sizes that were set about the funeral home, all in a plastic tote now.  Also a frame and candle given to me by the funral home that I do no want but for whatever wid reason have been unable to let go of,  by the end of today I will have taken all of the pictures out of the frames and will file them away and then store the frames for future needs ( I just gave away 2 recently when I made cute pics for my 2 brothers and remembered "Hey  I have a bunch of frames!")  I will also get rid of the "funeral" frame and candle holder whether to donation or into trash.  Reading your post made me realize how heavily these things are weighing on me.....

What to do with funeral momentoes???

I feel bad if I get rid of them but then a practical side of me says that they served their purpose.

Thank you for bringing this up, it is making me do something I have been putting off but I know I need to do....

Edited to add: I got off the computer and immediately went and took care of it, all of the frames have been gone through, pics put away and the other stuff that reminds me of funeral is gone.  I so appreciate being able to come here and share this stuff that has been weighing heavily on me and I have been avoiding it for 7 years! Done! and I never deal with it again...KLIM-what did you decide to do?
« Last Edit: August 25, 2015, 11:04:06 AM by IfIonlycould »
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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2015, 05:25:29 PM »
Ifonlyicould I'm still being indecisive

I organized everthing, downsized the area that the stuff took up.......think I will have a quick discussion with my boys before I do anything permanent.

My guys are 17 and 19 so I think they have a good feel for what they think is important to them with regards to keepsakes.

With regards to all the things that were my husbands this tends to be my modus operandi.   Organize , downsize and then decide later what to do with it......


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2015, 04:18:36 PM »
My husband was a much beloved teacher and there was, throughout the illness though not as much after his death, a veritable boat load of cards, art works (he was an art teacher), letters, CDs, videos....just tons and tons and tons of stuff.  I moved it all into the basement where it remains because I am too lazy to deal with it (not because I am attached, because I am not).  I plan to keep for my daughter anything that is a) particularly poignant, personal or will one day help her remember what was so special about her Dad and b) came from people who were important to him and/or remain important to us now. 

I do think it is necessary to let it go.  Healthy to let some of it go. 

Recently, I found every single (crap) paper I wrote in college in a giant three ring binder that has been transported from New Orleans where I went to school to 11 apartments in six states between 1994 and 2003.....WHY?!  I did have a good laugh over some of them but then ceremoniously dumped them into the recycling bin. 


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2015, 12:34:26 AM »
My husband has a ton of awards, ribbons, plaques from both military service and he.  He held the school record for the mile for over 25 years.  A friend suggested I ask parents, brothers if they want anything.  Then my daughter spoke up and said she wanted most of it.  So here I sit with a huge run worth of plaques.
"I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry." ~Cat Stevens


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2015, 02:43:17 PM »
Save what's important to You.
Toss the rest !


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Re: funeral momentoes
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2015, 10:37:49 AM »
Interesting conversation...
I have several things from Mick's funeral. One, a handmade "prayer blanket," has been sitting on a shelf in my closet for some time. It seems very wrong to just throw it away. Even giving it to Goodwill seems inappropriate. I was thinking to give it to someone who recently lost a loved one.
I do like re-purposing things. But it takes more time, thought and effort sometimes...
I still think of you, Mick...every SINGLE day!