Author Topic: 3 years...  (Read 1609 times)

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
3 years...
« on: September 14, 2015, 05:22:35 PM »
Three years today. It is a strange feeling. I really am not sure how I am feeling. 

Part of me wants my old life back, to be back in my past, to rewind and get back to the night before and make sure my husband would not leave to go to work that night. To take the person I am today, and make my previous life even better. I still miss him so much.

Then another part of me wants to take this new different me and move forward.  To understand that the different me would not exist had this not happened.

Life's circumstances change us, they make us grow and learn in many ways. I have always thought things happen for a reason but I still struggle to understand why this happened.

I guess these are just ramblings going on in my head right now that I sit and think.

Thanks to you all for being here and just listening.
It really keeps me sane knowing I am not alone.
But boy oh boy do I wish we didn't have to be here...

Michael797

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Re: 3 years...
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2015, 06:33:53 PM »
Funny how everything changes and nothing changes. It's amazing to think that others believe this could all just vanish without a trace. You're in my thoughts today, M2K - wishing you long-overdue happiness and gentleness. We're sorry you're here but grateful you've touched us.

TooSoon

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Re: 3 years...
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2015, 06:37:47 PM »
Thinking of you, filia mou!

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: 3 years...
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2015, 07:18:09 PM »
Michael, thank you....

TooSoon, efharisto kai filia yia sena....

BrokenHeart2

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Re: 3 years...
« Reply #4 on: September 14, 2015, 08:57:45 PM »
Thank you for your post. I'm embarking on Yr 3 and feeling.....growing and receding.  Baby steps I guess. Going back and going forward. Wow, such a dicotamy but the liking who you've become really so inspires me. Thank you!!  What I get from your wonderful post is we can't go back so find the best in going forward. My DH told me 2 days before he died " The only constant in life is change". At the time I was gob smacked. You just reinforced his statement.  Thank you so much
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Mizpah

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Re: 3 years...
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2015, 08:45:13 AM »
Thinking of you.  Three years.  It's unbelievable. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

Captains wife

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Re: 3 years...
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2015, 09:03:36 AM »
Thanks for posting. I hit year 3 in May! Some days just suck and I feel my husbands accident was recent, other days I feel I have moved forward in a positive way for my son and I. I'm also still figuring out what I want in this life chapter. I also feel fundamentally changed by what happened to us, even if death is supposed to be part of life. Wishing you all the best as you move forward.

momtokam

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  • Widowed September 2012
Re: 3 years...
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2015, 03:26:49 PM »
Thank you all so much for listening and your responses.

We really can't go backwards no matter how much we want to, or how much our brain tries to.  So our only option is forward, we just need to figure out what that will really mean or look like.

Hugs to you all.....


Trying

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Re: 3 years...
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2015, 08:37:33 PM »
I think we would all turn the clock back if we could, but when we realize the only direction to go is forward is when we can start moving. 
Big hugs to you as pause your forward looking to reflect on all that you had and the man that you miss.
You will forever be my always.

Jen

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Re: 3 years...
« Reply #9 on: September 17, 2015, 11:35:54 PM »
Tearing up too easily tonight... lots of hugs to you, and to everyone!!
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton