Author Topic: After All These Years...  (Read 1942 times)

Lost35

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After All These Years...
« on: September 20, 2015, 12:36:35 AM »
Yesterday, for some reason, while I was driving in my car, the word, "Frangipane" came into mind.  I remember it was something Peter talked about and something he wanted me to experience, though the reference is fuzzy and the conversation lost a bit in almost seven years.  Regardless, the word had meaning and I thought about it for quite a while.

Today, our little guy had plans in mind and they were meant to be what we did today, but at some point, it became really important to walk around downtown.

Another bit to the story, now that I think about it, is something my son mentioned a week ago, that is suddenly relevant, and I'll mention shortly...

So today, out of the blue, it became really important to walk around in the "old town" part of our city.  We parked and were on the way to a toy store our son wanted to look at when we passed a patisserie.  We have walked past it many times before, but today, it was very important that we stop...

In the patisserie, we were met by this lovely lady.  It was very welcoming.  And what did she lead us to, but a selection of Frangipane.  I've never, ever, seen these in Canada, ever before.  I couldn't help but mention to our son about Dad's love of this particular pastry.  It was hard to breathe...

The lady there then said, "So, Daddy is waiting at a table?" and my first response was, "Yes!" and then, "No, wait, ah..." and our little guy tells her that Daddy is dead and he never got to meet him, and she didn't spend a second forming some awkward response and simply leant in and gave him a big long, lovely, hug and he enjoyed it.  And then she turned to me and opened her arms and I started to say, " it's okay, it's been a long tim... and she gave me a hug as well and I enjoyed it just as much.

We sat and had our treats and coffee and conversation, and now for the bit my son mentioned a week ago... He was talking about walking around, "where the earth is spinning" and for the life of me, I didn't know what he meant.  Then today, at our table, he pointed out the window and said, "there, Mamma, that's the earth I was talking about before!"  And there it was, a globe sign for a travel agency, spinning 'round and 'round, clear as day.  I've never noticed it before.

This is my long-winded way of saying, that still, almost seven years later, I feel like Peter is still here.  He whispers in my ear from time-to-time and although it hurts my heart, I'm still listening, and still here...and I completely loved, the Frangipane. 

-L.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2015, 06:45:05 PM by Lost35 »

iloveyoualways

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2015, 01:09:27 AM »
Lost35, before you ended your post I realized that your husband must still be around. I really like your story. Those times can be so wonderful while we remember the best about them but also so bittersweet as we can't change our loss. Also, others are caught off guard as they do not expect death at such a young age. I have had those experiences.

Gabzmom

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2015, 03:54:55 AM »
What a lovely, shared moment!
"I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry." ~Cat Stevens

canadiangirl

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2015, 04:55:07 AM »
This brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart.  Thank you Lost35.  What a beautiful story.  He is still here. 

Trying

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2015, 08:00:48 AM »
Your story gave me goose bumps, we when are open those whispers are everywhere.
You will forever be my always.

donswife

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2015, 08:05:50 AM »
what a lovely story and day for you and your son
My everything

IfIonlycould

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2015, 08:58:07 AM »
Tearing up over morning coffee.  Thank you for sharing this,  I have had experiences like these where I know he is communicating, they are so layered like yours that to me there can be no other explanation.
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
Aristotle Onassis

Virgo

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2015, 03:00:14 PM »
((hugs)) Touching story, thanks for sharing!
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Jen

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2015, 04:58:40 PM »
Chills here... :*)
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

SoVerySad

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2015, 05:01:42 PM »
What a special moment for you to share! It made me smile for you both.

Hugs...
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

linda5

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Re: After All These Years...
« Reply #10 on: September 20, 2015, 05:17:19 PM »
Your story brought a smile to my face and a hug to my heart.  I know our loved ones are still watching over us and hoping we catch the signs they send us.