Author Topic: Deleted voice messages  (Read 1798 times)

CJF

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Deleted voice messages
« on: September 22, 2015, 01:50:45 PM »
I am putting this here because I think only people who've dealt with a spouse's addiction would understand.
For the past 4.5 years I've kept voicemails from my husband on my cell phone.  Every now and again I would listen to them.  They weren't very nice.
They were messages from when we were going thru a really hard time because of his addiction.  They were mean and threatening and listening to them would take me right back to those dark days.  The other day I sat and listened to each one....and then deleted them, one by one.  I panicked for a few minutes thinking those are the only voicemails I had from him, but I think I did the right thing.  At almost five years, I think it's time to let go of the pain. Listening to them would never do me any good.  I am at a point where I only want to remember the good.

Max2507

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Re: Deleted voice messages
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2015, 03:57:33 PM »
Congratulations for doing that. It must have been hard to do but also a very healthy thing for you.

AndysWife

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Re: Deleted voice messages
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2015, 03:43:09 AM »
That is a major thing to do so well done to you. I wish I had that kind of courage
A.B.D.  26/01/1969 - 08/08/2011

CJF

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Re: Deleted voice messages
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2015, 11:21:14 AM »
You know it actually feels good that I no longer have access to that reminder - it's kind of like I am not carrying that extra pain and anger around any longer.
Thanks for the replies  :)

markb74

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Re: Deleted voice messages
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2015, 12:29:55 PM »
that is such a brave thing to do.
I have two messages. one is about the cat going to the vet. the cat has also passed since then.
the other one was telling me shes coming home from work and if I needed anything...

I didn't answer many calls from her when at work, I let them goto voicemail. I find myself answering every call I get now just to hear a persons voice.

I also got a little weird and the calls I don't answer if its a voicemail from family I feel obligated to save it forever...

:(
It's OK to dig a pit of despair and jump in.
It's NOT OK to stay in there and wallow.

Carey

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Re: Deleted voice messages
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2015, 12:48:19 PM »
I often think ... how strange it is that now I LONG to hear his voice, and there were so many nights of him standing over me as I tried to sleep, slinging insults, name calling, just being so totally hateful that I wished he'd shut up forever.  Be careful what you wish for I guess. I commend you on the strength that took , I can only imagine. I only have one tiny little video of Chad where I can hear his voice and even then not all that well ...he's dancing to one of those Target back to school commercials and yes hes drunk. At the time I thought it was hilarious. Now I just find it sad.  Sadder still that my kids play it over and over and over.   He had to give up his cell phone when he went to Saudi and my son ended up with it so all the texts and voice mails were gone.  Little did  I know...

Anyway .... you did a wonderfully brave thing, and I know it hurt. 
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

CJF

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Re: Deleted voice messages
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2015, 12:59:06 PM »
I find myself answering every call I get now just to hear a persons voice.

I also got a little weird and the calls I don't answer if its a voicemail from family I feel obligated to save it forever...
:(

This is sooooo me now too!  Funny how this changes so many things about us...

gracelet

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Re: Deleted voice messages
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2015, 11:37:39 PM »
Massive step. Well done.
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