From my experience of 13 years as an extreme caregiver, I can tell you, most assuredly, that you are not hard-hearted in the least. Your husband needs your strength, as does your daughter. You are the one, who is there, day in, day out, doing what you can to take care of their needs. If you fell apart, each and every time he had a bad day, and each and every time you saw him in pain, you would be of no use to him or to anyone. Having the strength and the ability to carry on as normal of a life as is possible, given your situation, will help your family to feel a sense of peace and comfort. Sadly, there will be plenty of time to fall apart, soon enough. For now, just continue to be the steady rock, and if you do feel the need to fall apart, that's okay, too.