Author Topic: .  (Read 1877 times)

Abitlost

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« on: October 14, 2015, 10:13:30 AM »
TMI
« Last Edit: December 20, 2015, 07:41:17 PM by Abitlost »

Mizpah

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2015, 10:37:03 AM »
Oh no!  Yikes!  Sounds like maybe that girl who fished you out of the bushes is your best bet for a new ICE, instead of these men!  Glad your ex was kind and concerned.  I hope this doesn't open up a new phase of re-opening the wound.  Breakups are detoxes, and being in contact makes it so hard.  The worst and the best all in one.  I'm sorry NG is such a fool/unconcerned jerk.  Sounds like your assessment of merely using him as a distraction to get over the ex is a good one.  Glad you're not getting attached - he doesn't sound worth it.  DH's advice to people with (certain kinds of) relationship issues: "Next!"  Are you ok???
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

anniegirl

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2015, 10:58:54 AM »
Glad you are okay.

If NG is just a distraction, it's not surprising he isn't overly concerned. He probably is aware of his role in your life.

Speaks well of you Ex that he stepped up.

Feel better.

This is not the droid you are looking for.

Trying

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  • aka MissingmyTim
Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2015, 12:35:12 PM »
Yikes! Glad you're ok. Obviously there's a reason you were with ex for so long, he's a decent guy. That doesn't make him the right guy for you though, I hope his responsiveness doesn't set you back.
You will forever be my always.

CastleOnSand

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2015, 01:21:59 PM »
Not quite sure what you're getting at. Do you wish to reconnect ? Sometimes it takes a new pleasant experience to get over feelings we have (had) for someone else. Other times a no contact leads to other paths. It was a nice gesture on his part. Understand about the distraction, but sometimes it's a necessary evil. Other times maybe not so. No one can tell us what's really right. Anyway hope you're feeling better.
« Last Edit: October 14, 2015, 03:26:53 PM by CastleOnSand »

Abitlost

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #5 on: October 14, 2015, 07:41:26 PM »
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« Last Edit: December 20, 2015, 07:41:03 PM by Abitlost »

ManutesGirl

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2015, 08:31:32 PM »
So glad to hear you are ok.  Bike crashes are so scary.  Take a week or so to let yourself heal before you try to figure anything out. 
?I have lived my life well, lived with integrity and always lived each day the best I could.  I have no regrets.?  DKB 9/2/65 - 10/23/11

Portside

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2015, 08:56:16 PM »

The thing is I do think he and I are great together, it's just our families don't blend :( That's what makes this so hard.
. . . ..

Today I'm feeling like NG who didn't even check on me until after 5pm isn't even good for a distraction.


I am very sorry to hear you were injured. Perhaps your head injury has caused your thinking to be, well, confused.

Don't kind yourself - you aren't good for each other if your respective families do not (and will not) blend well. If this is truly the case, you each owe your nuclear families the good sense to break it off permanently. While you each are, of course, individuals, you also have a larger, more important role to play as mother/father to your respective broods. If they are constantly at each other's throats and neither of you can rein in your kids to establish some sense of peace and harmony with the collected group, get out for everyone's sake.

Perhaps NGs lack of checking in on you stems from his identifying and accepting the role you assigned him. Do you honestly believe any good can come from using another as a 'distraction'? People are not 'distractions' - toys and card games are appropriate distractions. To use another as such is uncaring which is uncharacteristic of you.

Good luck - Mike

The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

Abitlost

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #8 on: October 14, 2015, 09:26:22 PM »
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« Last Edit: December 20, 2015, 07:40:22 PM by Abitlost »

CastleOnSand

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2015, 08:04:37 AM »
If all the other variables don't add up i.e. blending families, would it not make sense that either something drastic would have to change, which sounds as you write, doubtful, and you would just continue to frustrate each other. It's hard to make assessments from some of what you write, but it seems doubtful, that there's a middle ground. Exes are exes for a reason. Just a perspective.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2015, 10:20:17 AM by CastleOnSand »

Mac

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Re: The no-contact thing lasted until I hit a deer
« Reply #10 on: October 15, 2015, 11:28:45 AM »
I'm glad that you are ok. (((Abitlost))).
Grateful for the past. Embracing the present. Trusting in the future.