I am so, so sorry Fuchsia. Even when you know it's coming, it's still a shock when finally happens. It's the emotional equivalent of losing a limb. Please ask for as much help as you can (something I wish I had done more of) and be gentle with yourself. One day, one hour at a time for now and lean on us.
BTW, if you have the services of a grief counselor through your hospice program, well -- I found that to be quite helpful and it's worth considering.