Author Topic: 11 year old having sleeping issues  (Read 1550 times)

DebW

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11 year old having sleeping issues
« on: October 25, 2015, 12:43:42 PM »
We lost Anthony in May of this year, my daughter has just turned 11 and in the last month has been having issues with sleeping. She can't seem to get to sleep and then gets into a cycle of being upset because she can't sleep. Sometimes she drops off to sleep ok but will wake in tears an hour later. She is not very good at verbalising her emotions but from what she does say she doesn't want to go to sleep because she is scared of waking up and being alone in the dark. We have tried a nightlight, relaxation techniques before bed, no screen time etc but the only thing that works is letting her sleep in with me which is making it impossible for me to get a restful night sleep. Last night I already had my son in my bed so at midnight was up dragging a mattress in for her to sleep on the floor - I am shattered. I am taking her to see our doctor this week and we are also restarting counselling as there are some other issues happening so it may all be tied in together. I just wondered if others have experienced similar and might have some helpful advice. Thanks.

TooSoon

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Re: 11 year old having sleeping issues
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2015, 12:55:52 PM »
I'm sorry you're going through this on top of everything else.  I've had periodic insomnia since I was a child, probably about the same age and have had it my entire life.  In fact, I vividly remember the very first time it happened; I was traumatized by it.  It also coincided with what, in looking back, must have been the beginnings of hormonal changes.  I'm pretty sure it has to do with the wiring of my brain which never, ever shuts down.  The only times I have not had sleep problems have been when I am just physically, completely exhausted.  I used to do a lot of manual labor and they were some of the happiest times in my life because I could sleep without issue.  I have to exhaust my body to shut down my brain.  Grief surely exacerbates everything but adding more physical activity might be one option.  Just speaking from personal experience. 

DebW

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Re: 11 year old having sleeping issues
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2015, 02:07:39 PM »
Thanks for your reply. It sure does suck, our relationship is not great right now and sleeplessness makes us both even more crabby to one another! I think it probably is a combination of hormones too as she is that age. Last night she was at my sisters for a sleepover so was looking forward to a solid sleep but got called to pick her up. Was up till midnight trying to settl heer but couldn't - my son was already in my bed so had to drag a mattress into my room and been awake since 4am! Caffeibe will be required today.

Virgo

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Re: 11 year old having sleeping issues
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2015, 07:34:38 AM »
I hope your daughter is sleeping better now.  My daughters  haven't had issues with sleep other than trying to push back their bedtime.  I had difficulty sleeping early on. I drop a few drops of lavender oil on my pillows in the morning.  That way by the evening the scent isn't overpowering. I've heard melatonin helps too.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

DebW

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Re: 11 year old having sleeping issues
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2015, 03:54:12 AM »
No....we have been getting worse I think. The doctor gave us melatonin to try which does make her sleep but also causes her to be very restless, sleep talk and sleep walk so I try not to give it to her often, she still refuses to even try in her bed so I have her permanently in with me. I made a SOS call last week to the hospice counsellor as things are going really badly at home for all of us so just need some help now. I really feel at my wits end with it all, it's just exhausting and I don't have the mental, emotional or physical energy to deal with all the problems the kids are having, it's just too bloody hard.

Trying

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Re: 11 year old having sleeping issues
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2015, 06:41:09 AM »
Deb I am so sorry that your daughter is still struggling with her sleep, it must really effect all of you.  My youngest is 11 now and sleep hasn't been too much of an issue for him but continues to be for me.  Without sleep it seems nothing goes right.

I think its good you called the counselor.  I have found trying to help my children with their grief while experiencing my own the absolute hardest part.  The most difficult parenting issues we will face and we are facing them without the help of our partner and a time when we are at our own personal weakest.  It is way too much, way too hard.  I hope the counsellor is a help to all of you.
You will forever be my always.

twistedmensa

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Re: 11 year old having sleeping issues
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2015, 03:38:46 PM »
I have found trying to help my children with their grief while experiencing my own the absolute hardest part.  The most difficult parenting issues we will face and we are facing them without the help of our partner and a time when we are at our own personal weakest.  It is way too much, way too hard. 

This. You ripped the words right out of my mind.