Author Topic: On line dating question?????  (Read 1456 times)

ladybug

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On line dating question?????
« on: November 01, 2015, 03:51:55 AM »
I am finally going to take the leap and start dating again.

I was wondering when it is appropriate to meet a man for coffee after you email each other?  I have been emailing 2 men and both have asked me out for coffee.

Do I say yes to both (different times of course)?  I am new to dating after being married for such a long time.  I don't want to appear too forward to either of them.

I have been a widow a long time and I finally want to get out and meet folks.   I have been very lonely....I know we all feel like that some days.   

Thanks for the help.

Momtojandj

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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: On line dating question?????
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2015, 04:46:11 AM »
That's hard to say , some people email, then talk on phone , then decide to meet for coffee. Personally, I can only read someone face to face . So I usually meet guy quick, public place , coffee and see what happens . Tell someone where you are going , public place, take your own car and enjoy.
And as far as yes to both , why not .. It's just coffee and right now your just meeting people .
"To love another person is to see the face of God "

Torn

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Re: On line dating question?????
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2015, 06:26:26 AM »
 I'm no true help here BUT:

  I hope you enjoy yourself and have a pleasurable experience .
  ~ToRn
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

patriciad

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Re: On line dating question?????
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2015, 07:01:42 AM »
I did the email and then a phone conversation before meeting for a cup of coffee(met new DH for dinner but I knew after phone conversation that something was there). 
And of course, meet them both.  It's just coffee-and who knows where it might lead.

Good luck
Pat

Portside

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Re: On line dating question?????
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2015, 07:34:35 AM »

I was wondering when it is appropriate to meet a man for coffee after you email each other?  I have been emailing 2 men and both have asked me out for coffee.


LB, Of course it's appropriate. I would meet with someone after any type of initial contact if they agreed to it. Two (or three) coffee dates in one day is fine if you can swing it - you don't owe any of these gentlemen exclusivity at this point. You are just getting to know them.

As far as being too forward, in this day and age, you really have to go some to be too forward. Anything short of rubbing yourself all over a guy in the doorway of Panera's when you say "Hello" isn't too forward.

Go out with each and have some fun!

Good luck - Mike
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.

soloact

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Re: On line dating question?????
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2015, 10:14:07 AM »



[/quote]



As far as being too forward, in this day and age, you really have to go some to be too forward. Anything short of rubbing yourself all over a guy in the doorway of Panera's when you say "Hello" isn't too forward.

Go out with each and have some fun!

Good luck - Mike
[/quote]


Mike, thanks for the big laugh. Glad I swallowed that last sip of coffee before reading your post!

MrsDan

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Re: On line dating question?????
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2015, 12:06:55 PM »
I think people have different perceptions about the rules or protocol, but I really think it comes down to personal preference. I have a friend who prefers to meet right away - she wants to know if there's any spark before going any further. I've found that I prefer to message for a bit first. The first two guys I met, that's what I did, and although there wasn't really any attraction with the second, I enjoyed our online conversations, and I felt like we had already started the conversations that we were able to build on when we did meet. Last night I tried something different, I met with a guy I didn't have much interaction with online, just a few messages. So it felt like we really didn't know each other at all, which made things awkward. We really ended up just talking about our jobs and our kids but I didn't really feel a connection beyond that. For me, there's a practical side to it too - I have to arrange childcare every time I meet someone. So I want to know that there's a stronger possibility of a connection before I give up time with my child.

Two weeks seems perfectly acceptable, I guess it also depends on the frequency. The first guy, we messaged about a week, but it was every day, then several messages in one evening. The second guy, we messaged almost every day for well over a month and we were both very chatty, but if I'm being perfectly honest I was really trying to see where things went with the other guy. I'm supposed to meet with another guy this week. We've messaged for about a month, but not that often, and the first few weeks weren't particularly substantive. Only after we had a more extensive exchange last week did I feel like this was someone I really wanted to meet. I agreed to meet another guy, but I'm sort of regretting it because we haven't messaged all that much, and my experience yesterday made me realize that in addition to the practical side, I'd really prefer to message a bit first for other reasons.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

ladybug

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Re: On line dating question?????
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2015, 03:13:02 AM »
Thank you for all the good wishes and advice.  It has helped me more than you will ever know....thanks.