Specific Situations > Suicide/Addiction/Mental Illness/Abuse

Introduce Yourself - What Brought You To Specific Situations?

<< < (6/6)


Welcome to Young Widow Forum. So much time has passed since those early years when we posted regularly on the old YWBB (and elsewhere). It is great to hear from you again. I hope the passage of time has brought you much healing.

--- WifeLess

It appears as though not many people have been here recently but it is the most appropriate place for me. I lost my 31 yo wife in August 2017 to suicide by hanging after a long battle with PTSD. I am now 36. My wife served in Iraq and Afghanistan as a Marine Corp Sargent and endured many awful experiences. We met in 2011 and married in 2014. As a true Marine she was a perfectionist and treated me like a queen. She took her own life soon after our third anniversary. She is my soul mate and my everything so the following months have been nothing short of tumultuous. We were in the process of purchasing our first home, starting our own family and simply enjoying our lives together. Just after losing my wife I lost my career as a healthcare executive, our home, and our 15 yo dog. After struggling for quite some time to start our own family, a month after her death I found our last attempt with fertility specialists had been successful and I am now pregnant with a baby boy. I am currently 6 months pregnant and expecting this May. It has been bittersweet yet a miracle none the less. I moved our home into storage and am now residing with my sister, her husband, and foster baby until I can get back on my feet. My brother in law lost his father to suicide by hanging as well and has helped me tremendously. The changes brought with the loss of my wife have made moving forward even more complicated. Not only am I lost without her, can't muster energy to do anything I need to do but I carry the weight of PTSD myself after her suffering and finding her hanging in our basement. I miss her beyond what words could ever express but understand why she left us. I am trying with all I have to continue to adjust to my new normal and I just returned to college to finish my degree to find a better career for our new baby and me to have a better life. Much like most of you here this is a life I never imagined, a group I never wanted to join. I hope to find some friends or online companions that can relate a bit more than I can find in my community now. The city of Buffalo NY has only one widows/widower group that is only open to those older than 60 and I am 26. Thank you for letting me share my story, I look forward to you introducing yourselves and I wish you all peace.

Hello, Lanajoy,

I'm so sorry to have to welcome you to our club.  The loss of your beloved wife is such a tragic experience for you!  I don't have the experience of your kind of loss, but there are others here who have lost spouses to suicide and also others who were widowed when pregnant or with very young children.  You are also a very young widow, and it can be difficult to find support groups for younger widows.  You might try searching for support services for children.  My first support group was attached to a center for grieving families and children and wasn't advertised as a young widow support group.  You may also try contacting hospice groups.  They often offer grief support to individuals who have not used their hospice services for a family member.

I saw your other post about Social Security.  I'm not sure what your status would be with SS.  Most often, a young spouse without children will only receive a one-time benefit of $255.  (Yeah, that's it.)  Your situation is more complicated in that you have an unborn child and I don't know the legal status of your child in relation to your wife.  You will likely have to talk to Social Security to see if your child will qualify for benefits based on recognition of parentage with your wife, I imagine.  So...I might start with a phone call to SS.  If your child qualifies for benefits, they would likely continue until age 18, and that would certainly be financially helpful. 

I hope you find reading and posting here to be helpful.  I have found online support to be a critical part of my journey after losing my husbands.  I have also made friends amongst people on this website and its predecessor.  You are most welcome here. 




[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page

Go to full version