Author Topic: Love and Logic strategies  (Read 11432 times)

Trying

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  • aka MissingmyTim
Re: Love and Logic strategies
« Reply #90 on: March 09, 2017, 07:24:05 AM »
Rob, what I'm hearing now from you is that the dinner planning isn't just about teaching them responsibility, skills and how to contribute to the running of a household but it's also about helping you out.  That's a legitimate need that you recognize.  Have you talked with the girls about this part of it?  If they understand that planning and cooking dinner every night is a big stress on you and that you are more pleasant and relaxed when they share in this chore maybe they would be more motivated. 

Another tool I love is the reminder alarm on the phone!  Sunday at noon, first alarm "Plan dinner menu!" Second alarm 2:00 "get Dad your grocery list asap".  That eliminates 2 nagging reminders from you so maybe you only have to add one or two nags.
You will forever be my always.

Mrskro

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Re: Love and Logic strategies
« Reply #91 on: March 09, 2017, 07:40:26 AM »
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A final thought from me tonight - I find that if they don't help me, I really start to resent it.  It becomes like I am living with the world's shittiest roommates  - they leave dishes all over, they watch me do work without helping, one won't talk to me sometimes.  If I see them try, it's way easier to love them and not keep score.

I just want you to know you aren't alone here.  I am not their damn maid!

Nic

TooSoon

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Re: Love and Logic strategies
« Reply #92 on: March 09, 2017, 08:07:36 AM »
Granted, mine is only 10, but I hear you about the depletion of doing things 100% and without help.  This year has been a bit different with Andy here some of the time but these last four years have been grueling, depressing and exhausting.  By the time M was about 8, I had learned to make sure I had certain things in the house - pasta, beans for burritos, pizza crusts, sauce, cheese, bread, soups - and when I simply could not manage one more thing, I let her take the reins and just fend for herself.  I have a weird relationship with food and still to this day struggle with "family dinner" - it will never be the same for me now, not for as long as I am still in this house - so letting her take care of it is both a way for her to learn self-sufficiency and it also gets me off the hook in times when I just cannot cope.

While I haven't had this particular parenting experience, I have learned in teaching that when one strategy isn't working, it doesn't help to keep hammering away at it - my students will dig their heels in and it becomes a battle of wills.  When I change my approach, students often more readily meet me where I want them to be.  Bait and switch, if you will. 

Thinking of you three. 


trying2breathe

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  • Widowed August 2013
Re: Love and Logic strategies
« Reply #93 on: March 11, 2017, 06:41:17 PM »
Rob  Solidarity on the cooking issue - my DD is not interested, despite my best efforts to have her contribute to the cause. I find that she's just not that hungry at the end of the day - most nights she can go without much dinner at all.   Seems that she has enough at lunch to tide her over. 


When DS is home from school however, it's a completely different story as he's ravenous most of the time.  And he does help out with the cooking. 


Good luck ~
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