Author Topic: All gone now  (Read 811 times)

alemja

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All gone now
« on: December 08, 2015, 03:30:30 AM »
I mentioned in the "intro post" that I was widowed in June 2013 and met a widower in April 2014. It was totally unexpected but we clicked and are now engaged and have been living together with out 4 children for the last year.

It has been so good for all of us and I am so grateful for what we have, I truly never imagined myself in another relationship let alone one as good as this one is.

My life has changed so completely, I was a stay at home mom when my husband was alive with my own little sewing/baking business. When he died I had to leave my little business and take over his business and get a part time job as well, my kids had always had me there for them and that was a huge change, having to stay with sitters and go to daycare during school holidays etc.
The area where we lived started to change for the worse and I had to move out of our home, the only house our kids had ever stayed in. Fortunately my partner and I were close enough at the time and there was no question of us all moving in together, so it was a positive move.
Our children were obviously in different schools which has been logistically challenging this yea, with different vacation schedules/times etc also my kids school is now quite a distance from where we live. We decided together that my so would join his boys at their school (all boys school) and my daughter would change to the "sister school". They are really good schools and my kids have gotten to know them over the past year and are very happy about the change.
Our school year runs January to December, so their year has just ended, I took my two this morning too collect their final report cards and say goodbye.
I was surprised by how sad I felt packing up their uniforms (to donate to the school), its like that school was the last thing left of our "old life", the only thing that was still the same :(
Only the way home my daughter (age 9) asked if we could drive past "home", I asked if she meant our old house and she replied "it will always be home to me" :'(

I don't want to feel ungrateful because we are in a much better "place" in our lives than I could ever have imagined we could be after my husbands death but I really do feel such a sense of loss for our old life, nothing is the same, not the home, not the furniture, not my car (had to sell mine to get a bigger family car), not my "hobby/job" that gave me so much pleasure , not my lovely big garden, and now even the school.
I feel so sad for my daughter too, its all so much to process. My son fortunately is super excited about the new school as he loves sports and they have a way better sports program than the old school, he is also really keen to be going to school with his new "brothers".

It so weird its like someone switched off the lights and when they were switched on again I was in a whole other life

mmg19

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Re: All gone now
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2015, 03:24:43 PM »
Change is hard for kids depending on age, emotions, and situations.  Thankfully they are resilient and I've found time does take care of so many things.  I understand how this must have hurt when your daughter voiced it would always be home.  Time is very different in a young child's mind.  Sending hugs.

MauiMermaid

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Re: All gone now
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2015, 04:22:31 PM »

It so weird its like someone switched off the lights and when they were switched on again I was in a whole other life

This sums it all up so well.

Thanks for sharing your story. (((Hugs))) and wishing you new found peace with all the transition.
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. - Mark Twain

You will always be my everything.