Author Topic: Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread  (Read 17933 times)

Julester3

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Re: Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #75 on: January 02, 2017, 08:38:50 AM »
I can see your POV RyanAmysMom. My husband was very affectionate so I am really really missing the affection, the hugs, the kisses, the physical relationship, the conversations, the little things he did that made me feel pretty and special but the prospect of what I would have to do to get any of those things seems too much a price and effort that I'm willing to spend. I don't want to waste what energy I'm mustering on these things. I do my best to cherish what I had and then I use as much distraction as I can to keep the sadness at bay.

MissingSquish

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  • widowed 5/20/12
Re: Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #76 on: January 20, 2017, 05:26:57 PM »
Yup, I'm still firmly in the camp of not becoming recoupled again. I like my space, my life and my network that I've built for myself over the past 4 1/2 years. I don't see another man or relationship fitting into the mix. I'm unwilling to compromise and lose everything I've built over another guy.
Gone but not forgotten.....my Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!

Needytoo

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #77 on: March 05, 2017, 09:13:51 AM »
First time I have ventured into this thread.

Not even sure how to say this, so I am just going to say it. I started dating when I was 10 years old.  For some reason I had it in my head you were nothing unless you had a boyfriend.  I also had it in my head that you had to be submissive and let the man lead the way. My marriage wasn't a typical marriage.  My husband was a functional alcoholic and I was a submissive enabler.  I think you guys get the picture. 

It has been four years since his passing, and I have come a long way.  I believe I am ready for dating.  I am trying the online dating thing, and it isn't working. Maybe I am just supposed to be single the rest of my life.  Life is pretty good, love my job, have hobbies, and I get out there and socialize.  My sons are still at home, and it is challenging have three adults under the same house. They haven't started dating, and I fear they will never leave.  I enjoy my alone time, but at the same time, I feel that void.  Wish I just could be content.

sikeuritgadeun

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #78 on: March 06, 2017, 10:05:21 AM »
To be honest, I am afraid to date.  I wouldn't know where to start.  I have been asked out but I politely decline, then run the other way.  I don't know why.  Well, I guess I do.  I was happily married and and I miss him greatly.   I am afraid to take that step.  I am OK alone most of the time but it does get lonely, I will admit that.  I do miss having someone special to talk to.  I wish I had that again at least.
Love doesn't remain in memories, it remains in the heart.

 “You know that place between sleep and awake? The place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”
— Peter Pan

jgib

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #79 on: June 12, 2017, 11:02:03 AM »
To be honest, I am afraid to date.  I wouldn't know where to start.  I have been asked out but I politely decline, then run the other way.  I don't know why.  Well, I guess I do.  I was happily married and and I miss him greatly.   I am afraid to take that step.  I am OK alone most of the time but it does get lonely, I will admit that.  I do miss having someone special to talk to.  I wish I had that again at least.

I hear ya.....

Bear Shannon

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #80 on: July 18, 2017, 06:22:13 PM »
I love women but I don't see marriage in my future. Even living with a woman for six months was too much togetherness for me. I have a few friends here in FL who call themselves polyamorous and one who calls himself solo poly, which means he has a few close relationships but he prefers to live alone. It is not one night stands or casual sex. They call it "ethical non-monogamy". 

« Last Edit: July 18, 2017, 06:24:55 PM by Bear Shannon »
Peace ~ Bear

Laurie RIP (Married 1980 .. Widowed 2005)

"Grief can destroy you -- or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it."
~ Odd Thomas (Dean Kootnz)

Julester3

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #81 on: July 18, 2017, 07:03:20 PM »
I love women but I don't see marriage in my future. Even living with a woman for six months was too much togetherness for me. I have a few friends here in FL who call themselves polyamorous and one who calls himself solo poly, which means he has a few close relationships but he prefers to live alone. It is not one night stands or casual sex. They call it "ethical non-monogamy".

That's interesting. Thanks for the information.

Bear Shannon

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #82 on: July 27, 2017, 12:45:12 PM »
I love women but I don't see marriage in my future. Even living with a woman for six months was too much togetherness for me. I have a few friends here in FL who call themselves polyamorous and one who calls himself solo poly, which means he has a few close relationships but he prefers to live alone. It is not one night stands or casual sex. They call it "ethical non-monogamy".

That's interesting. Thanks for the information.

Maybe it's just my fear of commitment?  :)
Peace ~ Bear

Laurie RIP (Married 1980 .. Widowed 2005)

"Grief can destroy you -- or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it."
~ Odd Thomas (Dean Kootnz)

Flman

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #83 on: August 11, 2017, 08:59:53 PM »
I have been a widower a long time 12 years . Married for 14 . After a year of losing my wife I felt kinda desperate didn't want to be alone or just listened to ppl telling me you're young you have to get married again.so I went on dates like crazy for a while what a joke even had a few relationships but just bc Everyone said to. It's been a few years now that I've been kind of a loner. To be honest it's great to a point sure I would love to have company once in a while but coming home with no drama is the best thing in life right now. Maybe I just can't get over the fact that my sweetheart is gone forever or when I was with someone I always felt so dam guilty. I mean we didn't divorce its like she just went away for a long time. Life really sucks sometimes

Adley

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Re: OK being alone, haven't recoupled and not seeking to recouple thread
« Reply #84 on: August 12, 2017, 03:36:12 PM »
Yes Flman, to the coming home to no drama. I remarried last year for four months, and learned how much worse things can be than simply being alone. It's lonely, yes, but I'll take solitude over constant strife any day. As in your other recent post, I can feel myself shutting doors as a protection mechanism. Who wants to add more pain? Life is complicated enough without someone's arbitrary drama.
Here's to my pretty young wife     sleepin amongst the stars           now they say what's hers is mine but I know what's ours is ours