Author Topic: wish I didn't have a need to join here  (Read 2359 times)

Mark

  • Member
  • Posts: 2
wish I didn't have a need to join here
« on: January 03, 2016, 01:27:51 AM »
I wish I didn't have a reason to join up here but unfortunately I do.
My world has been torn upside down 😔
As you can see on my screen name I'm Mark and wife passed away on December 28th 2015 we didn't know we would be welcoming in 2016 without her this is all so sudden

Helena

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2016, 02:28:57 AM »
I?m so sorry for your loss Mark. I lost my husband in August, also a sudden death. Your whole future just crumbles down to nothing.. Sorry you had to join us but you have come to the right place. I have been a member for about a week but have already felt great support.
Try to eat and cry if you can. Take all the help you can get. I had to force myself to eat the first week and my mother helped with the children.
Once again, I?m so sorry. Big hugs.

SoVerySad

  • Member
  • Posts: 865
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2016, 08:40:24 AM »
I'm so very sorry for the passing of your wife, Mark. It always hurts to see new people join our group, because we all know how painful and overwhelming it is to lose your spouse. In having that knowledge, however, we can do our best to support you through this difficult time. My husband died suddenly as well. Losing a spouse certainly does turn your world upside down in ways most people who haven't experienced it cannot begin to understand. It helped me to just take things a day at a time (or an hour or minute) and not look too far ahead as it was much too painful to think about.

Sending you a tight hug...
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

swilson

  • Member
  • Posts: 185
  • Widower since Sept. 2014
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2016, 12:17:56 PM »
{bro hug} I'm sorry for your pain Mark. That sudden loss is awful, like nothing most of us have ever felt before. The depth of this pain and sorrow is simply mind numbing and you may feel as though you're on auto-pilot for hours at a time. Please keep reaching out this forum has been a beacon of light in my cloudy journey.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~

Jen

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 1076
  • Jim: 7 April 1974-10 April 2014
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2016, 05:55:21 PM »
Mark, I am so, so sorry. Hugs and more hugs... one breath at a time.
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Mark

  • Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2016, 06:42:58 PM »
Thank you everyone.

Every single day things get harder and harder, but I'm kept busy with a baby who needs me. I am numb and also exhausted

donswife

  • Member
  • Posts: 547
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2016, 06:50:20 PM »
I am so sorry Mark
I also lost my Don suddenly and the first few Months were a blur
A way of self protection, I think, to keep us in motion
I take a deep breath and feel the sadness whenever I see a new person who had to be here
but use this forum whenever you need it , It helped me immensely to know this group was here and knew what I was going through
take care
My everything

missingm

  • Member
  • Posts: 18
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2016, 07:12:21 PM »
Mark I am so sorry for your loss.  A loss so sudden, so shocking. My husband too passed unexpectedly.  The bottom of our worlds dropped out with the death of our spouse.  How to piece back together your life while grieving the loss of your spouse? Just take one day at a time. When I would think long term, think about the future, I would feel overwhelmed.  Keeping my time horizon short helped me.  The grief, the crying is exhausting.  Please be easy with yourself. Just do what really needs to be done- caring for your precious baby, making sure you drink, eat and get some rest. The rest can wait. When people offer help, accept it. Do read 'suggestions for the newly widowed' posted in the 1 day to 6 month section on this board.  This is wonderful community of people with kind hearts, people who know what you are going through.  Please read, post, vent.  Wishing you some peace today.   
I love you more.

Torn

  • Member
  • Posts: 180
  • "This Guy"
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2016, 07:22:58 PM »
Mark, I wish you weren't here aswell man.
 Hopefully you can force your way through the beginnings of such horrible loss.
  Post here and read,there is comfort in knowing,others have experienced similar loss.
  Take care man, peace be with you
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

Virgo

  • Member
  • Posts: 896
  • Location:Indiana Widowed:2/4/14
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2016, 08:54:02 PM »
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I hope the comfort and support you find here helps you. Just take things one day at a time.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Bear Shannon

  • Member
  • Posts: 148
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2016, 04:24:09 PM »
(((bro hugs))) I am sorry that you are here too.  :(
Peace ~ Bear

Laurie RIP (Married 1980 .. Widowed 2005)

"Grief can destroy you -- or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it."
~ Odd Thomas (Dean Kootnz)

lcoxwell

  • Member
  • Posts: 671
Re: wish I didn't have a need to join here
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2016, 11:47:22 PM »
Hello, Mark. I, too, am so sorry that you had a need to join us. It always saddens me to see that new people have a need to be here. One thing I will say, though, is that the people here are an amazing group of people. They lifted me out of my darkest days of grieving and have provided wisdom, encouragement, and understanding that I never could have found anywhere else. I hope that being here will help you, just as much as it has helped me.
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.