Author Topic: Well, that was a complete fucking disaster...  (Read 1556 times)

Brenda

  • Member
  • Posts: 101
Well, that was a complete fucking disaster...
« on: January 05, 2016, 06:40:38 AM »
My relationship with the girl who I literally could have seen myself staying with for the rest of my life?  Yup, gone.  I ended it.  I started to see the beginnings of the things I (in hindsight, and through lots of therapy) despised about my long marriage, and I cannot let myself make the same mistake again.  I tried to address it with the new girl, but nothing changed.

So back to being single.

Regrets?  Yes.  I would have preferred to have a great friendship (which we kinda had) with this girl instead of a quick fling.  Now I have neither, and I needed a good friend.

Trying to not let this send me back into the depths of a nasty depression, but it's just one more thing going wrong at the moment.  Frustrating!

gracelet

  • Member
  • Posts: 246
    • Eerily Cheerily - upbeat but sarcastic musings of a young lesbian widow
Re: Well, that was a complete fucking disaster...
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2016, 08:04:41 AM »
Brenda, I've been there.  I'm sorry it hasn't worked out.

You have made a brave (and the right) move in refusing to make the same mistakes again.  Repeating bad relationship habits isn't good for the soul and after what we've been through, and continue to go through, we need every positive bit of soul nurturing possible.

My wife was horrible to me in so many ways. I have purposely looked out for any warning signs in my new relationship since I now have the benefit of hindsight.

Find something to distract with.  Mindfulness colouring in, learning how to use excel, painting your nails every few days, going to the gym - whatever.
Musings of this sarcastic but upbeat young widow can be read here : www.eerilycheerily.com

MrsDan

  • Member
  • Posts: 471
Re: Well, that was a complete fucking disaster...
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2016, 11:34:18 AM »
It doesn't sound like it was a complete disaster, it sounds like the opposite, that headed off what could have been a complete fucking disaster. Good for you for recognizing the issues and dealing with them
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

Mizpah

  • Member
  • Posts: 750
Re: Well, that was a complete fucking disaster...
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2016, 12:34:01 PM »
Sounds like a great demonstration of clarity and strength.  I admire it. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

TalksToAngels

  • Guest
Re: Well, that was a complete fucking disaster...
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2016, 12:42:05 PM »
You are stronger than me. I let a few toxic relationships go on way too long.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2016, 05:42:38 PM by TalksToAngels »

Trying

  • Member
  • Posts: 1644
  • aka MissingmyTim
Re: Well, that was a complete fucking disaster...
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2016, 09:03:42 PM »
I'm sorry things didn't work out but good for you for recognizing and standing up for what you need.  It's all a learning experience, right?
You will forever be my always.