Author Topic: meeting new people  (Read 3238 times)

RobFTC

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  • Lost Michelle to ovarian cancer 2010/11/07
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Re: meeting new people
« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2017, 06:32:20 PM »
Yup, I like Meetup groups.  I inherited a young-widows-and-widowers group when the former organizer had to move to take a new job.  I was a member and had used it to advertise the two bagos I hosted.  She had talked about making me a co-organizer, but hadn't (I think there's a story there), so the group was about to be shut down when I jumped in.

Overall, it's been good, with some issues.  I am a bit the wrong person to be a social organizer to the degree this group really needs ("what, I need to plan again???").  It's gone months without an event at times, and if I don't schedule an event, few others will.  And there's the fees - I pay about as much to support the meetup group as it costs me for match.com every six months.  Meetup.com does have a couple of ways to share that cost around - mandatory annual fees, per-event fees, and assistance with asking for and collecting voluntary donations.  After wondering whether anyone would care if I just shut it down, I added the latter last fall, and I got more help than I had expected.

I think the thing that makes me saddest is something that's hard to get around - we have a massive membership list, but north of 90% are idle.  Many haven't even logged into the site for any purpose for more than a year.  At 135 members, I'd guess we see a dozen turn out for events.  I've pruned some, and will keep doing that, but it hurts when people you have met and liked are the ones who don't care about the group any more.  And I then feel guilty that this group with my name on it doesn't have more activity and more varied activity to keep people engaged.  C'est la guerre.

But still, when six of us old hands get together for a great breakfast in Old Town and meet one new person who's been lurking for a year, it's pretty cool.  I love these people :-)

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

SunshineFL

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Re: meeting new people
« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2017, 09:47:22 PM »
@RobFTC - Thanks for sharing your meetup reflection and experience. I remember you sharing that you organized a meetup in CO.  Maybe you can shift that to "c'est la vie" instead.  :)  I know what you mean about people clicking on a whole bunch of groups to join but not really connecting or participating in them IRL.

I've was asked to co-organize and help out with a widow/widower meetup group in my area. Having a few moderators helps spread the responsibility. And we all make sure that there is something on the calendar at least every other week or three - a dinner, an outing, a hike, a play, a beach day, etc. Just something that even a couple of people are going to go to - and inevitably others join as well.

The financial piece is a good point, too.  Glad that many stepped forward to contribute. Your last line sums it up - that connection with that one person who needed to meet you that day - priceless.  So glad you are keeping at it.
Warm regards.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2017, 07:17:03 AM by SunshineFL »

klim

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Re: meeting new people
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2017, 05:35:36 PM »
Rob that's cool to hear about your meetup experience. I am connected to lots of different meetups...am idle in some but very active in others. Rob does it make a difference to the operation of the group if you have different numbers...maybe I should take my name off the idle ones....

 There is a widow /er group around here that is very very active....but they are mostly 65yrs old.....probably very nice supportive people but not really my niche.
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RobFTC

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  • Lost Michelle to ovarian cancer 2010/11/07
    • Celtic Journeys radio show
Re: meeting new people
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2017, 11:32:29 PM »
Rob does it make a difference to the operation of the group if you have different numbers...maybe I should take my name off the idle ones....

Hi klim - yes, size matters :-)  There's a price break where you need a more expensive and more flexible membership past 50 people.  I would prefer to have more people actively drop when the group stops meeting their needs.

Take care,
Rob T
There was something fishy about the butler.  I think he was a Pisces, probably working for scale.

Needytoo

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Re: meeting new people
« Reply #19 on: January 17, 2017, 06:38:18 AM »
Meetups are not taking off well in my area and I am not sure why?  There were a few that opened up and I attended, events doing arts and crafts and they slowly died off. 

After my husband's death I looked and looked for widow/widower support groups and it took me over a year but I found one that was being held in a catholic church.  I wasn't a member of the church but they still let me go. At first, it was just widows and then widowers then it people who had children die.  The church would make a meal that cost $5 and we would do some kind of activity.  I went a year and half and generally enjoyed it but always felt a little bit of an outsider.  I even tried volunteering for support to newly widows but that didn't work out so well. 

I did find another widow/widower group which I am interested in but the meeting is on the same day as another thing I am doing. 

Our local libraries do a bunch of workshops and the best part is they are free.  Just started a photography course and me and two other ladies are getting together on the weekend to do our homework.  I am hopeful that it will be the beginning of a new friendship.