Author Topic: My 21 yr old niece  (Read 2988 times)

BrokenHeart2

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My 21 yr old niece
« on: February 06, 2016, 08:01:01 PM »
Hi Fellow Wids
I haven't commented on here much because I've been struggling with the fate of my beautiful 21 yr old niece.  Kathleen has cystic fibrosis and has been declining over the past many yrs.  She was in hospital when DH died 2.5 yrs ago and it was non negotiable to her with the drs she was attending his funeral 1 hr away whether they liked it or not.  She was there, God bless her soul.  She just loved her Uncle Gord.  He taught her to drive a 3/4 ton truck on the lake and so much more. 
Now here the hard shit.  She's in hospital and on oxygen 24/7 waiting to get on the double lung transplant list in Toronto and struggling to breathe.  I am a mess.  Today is her Mom's my sisters 50 th birthday.  Oh God this is just so heartwrenching and I just want to be strong for them all.  I feel like I can't be because I feel so broken.
My nickname for her since she was a toddler has been Angel but now I feel I can't call her that in case it becomes real before it should be :')
 
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

sojourner

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2016, 08:29:48 PM »
Dang, that's one seriously rough situation all around. I'm so sorry! :'(

To some extent, I can relate. Now with my older sister facing terminal cancer (barring a miraculous scientific breakthrough from a clinical trial she's in, but I can't even delude myself about that, as I've already lived that movie and it didn't end " ... and they lived happily ever after."), I have to bury my grief when around my family. So I'm kinda living the part about trying to be strong for your family, too. It sucks. :(

SoVerySad

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2016, 09:05:04 PM »
I'm so very sorry, BH2. What a heartbreaking situation. 21 is so young and I know with CF she's been through so much already. I hope she can soon get the lung transplant. Just shower her and her family with love. I know from your posts you are a very loving person. It's okay if you can't be as strong as you think you should be. Just being there for them as much as you can and letting them talk when they want, etc. will be a comfort.

Sending you tight, tight hugs...
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

Amor

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2016, 09:37:58 PM »
(((hugs)))

Amor

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2016, 01:40:33 PM »
Any updates on your niece?  I hope she is comfortable and being taken care of well.  My thought are for you and your family.
Amor

Trying

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2016, 01:58:31 PM »
I'm sorry I missed this the other day when you posted.  What a difficult time for you and your family, my thoughts and prayers are with her and all of you.
You will forever be my always.

BrokenHeart2

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2016, 07:40:40 AM »
Thank you all. She has been having a difficult time breathing and has been put on a bipap machine to help. This machine is not good for CF because it dries the mucous. She has been fast tracked onto the transplant list and right now they are waiting for the helicopter to take her to Toronto. I can't believe this is happening. I pray she gets lungs in time. Everyone else seems so together and I feel like an emotional wreck.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Wheelerswife

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2016, 07:50:26 AM »
Having been in a situation where my first husband was very critically sick - and also airlifted to another hospital for the hope of more skilled treatment - I understand how the people around your niece seem to be holding themselves together.  They have to...it is how they keep hope alive.  On this side of death and loss, we know more about the aftermath, and that leaves our emotions frazzled in a different way.

Hugs,

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

MrsDan

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2016, 08:19:50 AM »
I'm very sorry about your niece and hope she gets those lungs. Life can just be so unfair.
You are the Bear of my heart dear,
And nothing can take that away.

Amor

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2016, 02:33:01 PM »
Thank you for the update.  I do hope she is able to get the transplant soon and that she is as comfortable as she can be.
Amor

BrokenHeart2

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2016, 08:09:44 PM »
Thank you Maureen, I was thinking that but didn't know if I was trying to rationalize or something has changed in me. I never used to be this way, yes some th,kings have changed in me in so many ways.  Others I think are confused about me now.
Thanks MD and A!
Good news today, she was finally airlifted to Toronto,. My Sis And BIL drove to TO (blizzard conditions on 401 and had to pull off many times...that's Ont for ya). Kathleen with her parents there OFFICIALLY signed her consent form and is now officially eligible!  They and all of us have been waiting a long time for this. The unfortunate part in all this is someone's family will feel this horrific loss to gain her healthy lungs and restore her health. We are all very aware of this and heartbroken at the same time. Such a dichotomy.
Thanks for all you support.
Blessing and hugs.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2016, 10:15:44 PM by BrokenHeart2 »
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2016, 03:28:33 AM »
I found out today she is at the top of the transplant list which good and not so good at the same time.  Her lungs are failing and needs this to be done ASAP.  Prayers are very welcomed.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

widowat33

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2016, 05:59:40 AM »
Sending prayers!

CJF

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2016, 06:24:24 AM »
Ill pray for her. 

Portside

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Re: My 21 yr old niece
« Reply #14 on: February 14, 2016, 07:40:02 AM »
Of course!
The war is over for me now. But those of us who did make it have an obligation to build again, to teach to others what we know, and to try with what's left of our lives to find a goodness and a meaning to this life.