Author Topic: Chatroom instructions for those who are interested  (Read 2767 times)


  • Member
  • Posts: 119
Chatroom instructions for those who are interested
« on: February 29, 2016, 07:16:47 PM »
Im reposting this information from the General Discussion boards.  I know when I first started out here, I stayed in the newly widowed forum for quite a while before looking into other places.  Chat was a huge lifesaver for me in the first year and even now almost 4 years out.  Chat can be busy or it can be very slow, it just depends on the time of day and who wants to participate on a regular basis.  Those who have been in chat the longest are more than happy to answer questions, stop the current conversation to help you through what you need, or just to give hugs.  I will bump this every so often to keep it on the main page.  If you are in chat you can bump this thread or the one in the General Discussion section. 


We have a young widows chat room, based on a standard called IRC which gives people a lot of ways to connect.  You can use website clients or use software installed on your computer.

How to get in

We list some easy options below. They are fairly different - if you hit a wall with one, please try the other. If you still have problems, please post to get help.

Web chat option A - easiest method

- Go to
- Pick a nickname and hit "Start"

Web chat option B - also easy and most reliable

- Go to
- Look for "Chat Now" in the right column
- Pick a nickname and type channel "#ywbb"

Web chat option C - easy and nice, but maybe not as reliable

- Go to
- To the right of the frog at the bottom of the green panel, click "Launch App" (you can also create an account)
- IMPORTANT: Click on the selector beside "Connect:" label and scroll down to DALnet
- Pick a nickname and type channel "#ywbb"
- Click on the "Connect" button

Using your own software (see list below)

- Connect:
  - via the IRC protocol (if you have to pick)
  - to DALnet at (important!)
  - via port 6667 (usually the default)
  - pick chat room #ywbb
  - pick a nickname

Once you connect, you should see a topic at the top such as "Welcome to #ywbb, the channel for young widows and widowers, please say hello." If you don't see this and you are using Mibbit, you likely missed that third "pick a server network" step. If you do, you may see people or not (see the bit about inviting below).

If you want others to join you in chat (and you should!), go bump this thread to let people know:


What is IRC?
- IRC (Internet Relay Chat) is a standard way to chat via computer; you connect  to one of several servers in a network and pick a channel or topic, and what you type is seen on everyone using that channel on servers all over, and you see what they type.

What IRC network are we using?
- We picked DALnet because we can register the chat room and our user nicknames to avoid losing them, and DALnet has a web client right on the home page (

What about privacy?
- Our chat room is open, so it is slightly possible that looky-loos using other chatrooms could find our room accidentally. When you join, people can see the address your ISP gave you, but not your real name unless you want to reveal that.  System operators have the power to block people from the room if there is an issue.

What's "registering my nickname" mean?
- With most IRC software, you can pick your "handle" for chat with some constraints. If you pick a name that someone else is using, you will be forced to change it. To avoid this, you can (but don't have to) pick a nickname that it unique and then register it with a password so that you can always use the same one. This is nice but not necessary.

How do I register my nickname?
- After finding a good nick, you type this gibberish:
/nickserv register <password> <e-mail>
You will be advised what to do next to complete your registration.

Should I let others know I am or would like to chat?
- Certainly! Just reply to this thread.  If you do, others can find you, whether old-timers or new people. If you don't, it's random. To let people know, go here:

IRC with your own chat client - any experience you want

- Add an IRC account with server and your choice of nicknames
- See for a FAQ

Popular chat clients

- Windows: mIRC, XChat
- MacOS X: Colloquy, Adium
- Linux/Solaris: Pidgin, XChat
- iPad / iPod: Mango IRC, Rooms
- Android: Yaaic, AndChat
- Chatzilla Firefox extension
- Mibbit extension for Firefox and Chrome
- For more, see:


  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 678
  • AKA Jezzy
Re: Chatroom instructions for those who are interested
« Reply #1 on: February 29, 2016, 09:37:44 PM »
PJ, great idea. I went ahead and pinned it so you don't need to worry about bumping.
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014