Poll

What do you think of Radio Hell being back on the air?

Despair has clouded my judgment and left me with no sense of taste. I missed you. Welcome back.
18 (47.4%)
Oh, crap - there goes the neighborhood.
2 (5.3%)
Play "Free Bird" dude!
7 (18.4%)
Can't a widow grieve in peace??
1 (2.6%)
You need to switch to an all-Tracy Chapman format.
3 (7.9%)
I got thrown off the other threads, so I need a place to crash. This'll do.
7 (18.4%)

Total Members Voted: 26


Author Topic: Radio Hell  (Read 9607 times)

Kamcho

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2015, 10:45:08 PM »
Ever see "Pirate Radio,"

We can move to a sinking ship in international waters... but we can't stop the signal.

The "young widow" term is so divisive. I don't like it. Did your heart get ripped out as your love left this world? Check. Widowed. Did you lose your love way before you were a nursing home candidate? Check. Young enough.

I'm two years out. Does my grief still matter? It does to me, to the people who still care about LH and me. Does it matter to the world? Naw, I'm not that important.

I am however, grateful for you and Radio Hell. You brought some of the humor and attitude I had allowed to lapse, back in. You did something impressive with your grief. Few get to say that.

Jen

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2015, 02:06:17 PM »
I've been looking at this post sporadically for the past-- oh, 15 hours now. Nope-- hasn't changed. Damn it.

If I thought anything I said would do any good at all, I'd write a long impassioned post... but I know better. And that's heartbreaking to me, because in the end, all I've got is words, and I set great store by them. Your words gave me the courage to live again. That's not a small thing, and I hope with all my heart you know how grateful I am-- will always, always be.

... but we can't stop the signal.


I haven't seen Pirate Radio, but this quote made me think instead of Firefly-- well, the movie, Serenity. Can't stop the signal. The impact of what you've done-- what you've given us-- will last longer than you'll believe.

Funny... just now, thinking of the incarnations of this thread, from the original transmissions to the pirated thread, to the various Radio Hell threads on the new boards... I'm thinking of the fugitive wizards in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-- the Weasleys and Lee Jordan and Kingsley Shacklebolt and Remus Lupin, how they had to keep moving and changing passwords and dodging Deatheaters because the message was that important. Did you ever think maybe Radio Hell was something like that? Because, you know, for some of us... it is. And the message is crucial-- I think it is, anyway. Know what it is?

This whole wid gig SUCKS. It's an all-expenses-paid trip through hell, full of curveballs and insanity (your own and others') and jackboots kicking you when you're down. But there is love, and there are hands to pull you through, if you're brave enough to reach for them. Hell is one long fucking nightmare, but the company is excellent. We will survive-- because, in the (paraphrased) words of Mal Reynolds, "we are too damned pretty not to."

In other words, yes, we are heroes.

This is much longer than I intended it to be. All I know how to do anymore is babble. But at least you gave us a safe space to do it in, and I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

love always,

Jenni

« Last Edit: March 23, 2015, 04:10:17 PM by Just Jen »
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Stargazer74

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  • Jamie, 35, Dec 2, 2014, Unknown Cause
Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2015, 05:30:35 PM »
Michael, my thoughts are with you today on this sadiversary.  Man, you have my permission to deck anyone who dares to trivialize your loss.  Love is love, no matter if you had a piece of paper or not.  You may not have many folks IRL who get it, but you know we do.  I never ever saw your threads as a pathetic attempt at getting attention, btw.  Some of us just use humor as a defense mechanism, and can crack a joke even in the worst of circumstances, even though you are dying inside.  The real draw to your posts to me was that I saw through that humor and saw the real, raw pain, and that was honest.  I hope that you are moving into a better place, I think that is the goal here, but I don't think you become obsolete.  Maybe a little more seasoned, maybe a little bit more able to cope, but certainly never useless.  I hope the best for you, as everyone here does.  And, thank you, for opening your broken heart up to us, for it has given many of us a place to be able to smile through the tears.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2015, 05:32:38 PM by Stargazer74 »
?Knock and it shall be opened.' But does knocking mean hammering and kicking the door like a maniac??
C.S. Lewis

?Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.?
C.S. Lewis

Amor

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  • Amor Para Siempre
Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2015, 10:57:33 PM »
Micheal
Thank you for starting this thread.  I know it has changed a lot since it as moved. 

As some of your first posts.

1. This has got to be a form of PTSD
2. My baby wen to heaven and is probably talking to Robin Williams and Joan Rivers, i am so jealous.
3. I saw an old man walking with a cane the other day and said lucky.

Even when the clouds lifted and reality sets in you still made a difference.  You are getting attacked from people who have never been in your shoes.  So next time some says you should not be sad your love died take off your shoes and tell them to walk a mile in them. 
No matter how old or young, many years or few with the one we started to weave our hearts together with theirs, we will have pain as the woven pieces of our hearts get torn out. 

MissingSquish

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  • widowed 5/20/12
Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2015, 05:35:12 PM »
Huge hugs michael on your sadiversary. Fuck the haters.  You are as much of a young widower as the rest of us.

Gone but not forgotten.....my Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!

JacklessSally

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #20 on: March 23, 2015, 02:45:23 PM »
*Big squeezy hug, and all the support I can give*

We appreciate all that you have done for us. I wish had better words..
B.H.S. 1-20-1974 - 11-13-2014

You will always be my Jack and I will always be your Sally. For we were simply meant to be.

Mrskro

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  • Posts: 293
Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #21 on: March 25, 2015, 11:47:52 AM »
Michael

Hugs to you.  I still have no words for how grateful I am to you and radio hell and transmissions from hell.   You so eloquently put into words my journey and the torments of this hell we have all been thrown into. 


Mrskro

Michael797

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  • Posts: 156
Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #22 on: March 26, 2015, 10:04:17 PM »
Michael

Hugs to you.  I still have no words for how grateful I am to you and radio hell and transmissions from hell.   You so eloquently put into words my journey and the torments of this hell we have all been thrown into.

Dammit, I'm trying to kill a thread here! And then you people come here and stick up for me and give compliments and stuff.... pain in my ass.

Ok, look - the party's moving to the newbie forum, where the transmissions thread is sort of responding to life support. Besides, eight months out doesn't mean shit; I'm no better off than I was at four months. Life after death, eh? Well, she's still not alive.

Maybe if there's enough momentum in the other forum, we'll reopen the station  - maybe have a contest or something. It's probably not healthy to occupy two stages of grief simultaneously - might lead to schizophrenia (shaddap, I'm talking).

Still, hugs help. Thanks, folks.


lcoxwell

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #23 on: March 26, 2015, 11:00:22 PM »
HAVING SAID ALL THAT ? there is still one piece of unfinished business left to address, sort of an attempt to go out with a bang instead of a whimper. It requires fulfilling a promise to one of our Despondents (namely, lcoxwell) by resurrecting the last project from the old thread: David Bowie?s ?Heroes.? Ironically, the chorus seems timelier than ever; it truly would be nice to think that, for one tiny moment, each of us WAS a hero, if just for one day.

Thank you so much! I am deeply and honestly touched, and crying tears of joy, over here.  I had intended to work on the song, then I came down with the flu and bronchitis.  Then, the old board shut down, before I had a chance to contribute.  I was so deflated, that there wouldn't be another Despondents song, in which I could contribute.  My singing voice is much better, so I should be able to start working on this within the next week. 

You are an angel of a man and my personal hero of the moment, for fulfilling this promise, and you truly made my night.  Once again, thank you!
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

Carey

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  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #24 on: March 27, 2015, 10:12:20 AM »
I refuse to let you go. So there.  :P

Yesterday sucked so damn bad, but you made me smile.  Matter of fact since I "met" you you've made me smile, and even downright irreverently giggle. You have a GIFT my friend and you give and give so much of yourself here, I don't even think you realize your own impact Sir.  I agree.... an angel of a man.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

Michael797

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #25 on: March 27, 2015, 07:41:02 PM »
Well.... I'll admit we're still light-years above hate radio. But the simple fact is that only TWO voices have committed to the project. So unless lc and Jenni are going to carry the whole song, we need some sort of recruitment drive. Anyone have any ideas about that?

This sounds like a job for - MARKETING! Sally, you still around?


lcoxwell

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #26 on: March 28, 2015, 04:02:18 PM »
Michael & Jen....I am finally at a point, where I might actually be able to sing again, without sounding like a frog or having coughing fits.  What part of the song do you need me to do?
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

Michael797

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #27 on: March 29, 2015, 08:44:08 AM »
At this point, feel free to do the whole thing. This might be your big break. :)

Ursula

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #28 on: March 29, 2015, 10:48:03 PM »
Horay, one big followerfellowwid just finally and thank Godedly made it onto this sparkling new board and just want to say 'hi' and send a belated hug to you Michael for the sad day and hope you pulled through kind-of-ok-ishly...??
Anyway, see you in Europe I hear!!!
I wanted to contribute to the song, but I think I cannot make a Bowie song sound anything but really really bad....but as always, may be persuaded to do foolish things...

keep RH going, it is needed   :)
Por que tu fuego a?n me quema, sin ti las noches son eternas,
tu aroma sigue aqu?, no me deja ir.. Por m?s que intente y quiera olvidarte, yo nunca lograre dejarte, cautivo de este amor sincero esclavo de tu voz.. Por que estoy am?ndote, so??ndose, aunque no est?s aqu?..
Y yo te esperare, amor aunque los a?os lleguen sin querer (Marc Anthony)

CBB

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Re: Radio Hell
« Reply #29 on: March 30, 2015, 02:55:59 PM »
Hugs Michael. I hope you made it through your sadiversary okay and still intact. I didn't find out about it till today . I wish I would have read sooner we could have double whammied it up with my birthday and your sadiversary day and kicked its sorry butt! Hope your okay and I am so happy to see that RH is still here! Still my favorite station!

Big hugs, Cyndi
I am different! How could I not be?