Author Topic: For new members who haven't posted and guests visiting...  (Read 1473 times)


  • Member
  • Posts: 865
For new members who haven't posted and guests visiting...
« on: April 13, 2016, 12:44:48 AM »
I know not everyone feels comfortable posting in such a forum, but I wanted to get a message to you. Please know that everyday I think about my fellow wids all over the world and wish for them to find some comfort and peace. This is such a painful experience to bear. I'm terribly sorry that each of you have ended up suffering such a great loss. Sending each of you a tight hug of understanding.
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.


  • Member
  • Posts: 1024
  • Widowed 2013
Re: For new members who haven't posted and guests visiting...
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2016, 02:29:23 AM »
You're so right SVS. Back in my early days it took me a few weeks just to sign up after reading so many posts. Then I finally signed up and was glad I did. I felt so alone and lonely. After I started posting I realized I wasn't so alone with this horride pain and some else got it. No matter what I posted there was always someone else that could relate to my experience.
Big hugs to all the wids.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.


  • Member
  • Posts: 96
Re: For new members who haven't posted and guests visiting...
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2016, 03:00:28 AM »
It was 15 weeks today that I lost the love of my life.  Whenever anyone asks if I am in (or suggests I should be in) counselling or part of a support group I mention that I am part of an online community that is very helpful and has let me know that I am far from alone with these feelings and thoughts I have.  And then I realize this is one more thing the "world" around us does not understand - the tremendous comfort this and other similar forums are.  Oh well.  We all get it and that is what has mattered to me.

As a "newbie", I want to say thank you to everyone that makes this community possible and for all the kindness and insights those of you on this journey have to offer, particularly those of you that are further down the road.

Peace and love to you all.


  • Member
  • Posts: 771
Re: For new members who haven't posted and guests visiting...
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2016, 08:20:01 AM »
Back when I was just widowed (about a month shy of five years now), my mother found the old forum and pushed me to join.  I'd never been part of ANY on-line anything, and am/was very private, and was totally against it.  After a few weeks, I decided to read.  I was shocked by how comforting it was - we all spoke the same language, and the rest of the world was speaking a different one, that's how I felt about this all-encompassing, tremendous pain.  Eventually I joined and wrote, and I credit the forum with so much of my healing and sanity.  I was desperate, I was destroyed, I felt so alone, and everyone "got it," just got it.  No one can take away the pain, but we can walk together.  So much love. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)


  • Member
  • Posts: 95
Re: For new members who haven't posted and guests visiting...
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2016, 10:51:17 AM »
I too never belonged to any online communities or had social media accounts, still do not, besides this one and Pinterest. It was so out of character to start sharing my thoughts with this group. When your whole life, 40 years of it, you are getting everything you ever wanted, when you are happy and protected, accomplished and loved, it is like a nuclear explosion to have all that end in one fatal minute. I remember driving back from the hospital after identifying my husband at 2:00 AM, alone, and all I could repeat over and over was: " I am a widow now, widow, widow..."
After a few weeks I made myself to look for help outside. I told myself that I had to do something completely different to be able to stay sane through this.  I started to share my very private feelings and thoughts and made a promise to myself to tell it like it is, stay true and honest, no matter how ugly or silly I look. This community is extremely supportive and now is a lifeline for me.
For the people who are just joining us, I am so sorry that you have to be here, it sucks, it truly does. But find it in you to start sharing here, even if only for the sake of journaling your emotions and feelings. You will find a supportive shoulder to lean on, people who get it and who experienced everything you do at the moment and some. It is a comforting feeling to know that even though I am lonely, I am not alone in this. One day you can look back and see a very small progress, some sliver of light, some faint indication that the healing began. One day at a time, right?
To the whole world you were one person; to me you were the whole world.